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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off with my husband booking me a GP appoinment

107 replies

notsostrong · 21/07/2011 22:06

He thinks my depression is back, I think he is right but i am trying to cope without them.

4 weeks ago i was on 30mg of citapram but i came off them without seeing the doctor.

He said "i am becoming very worried", as i am going back to where i was 6-7 months ago. where i was at my lowest.

he has just told me this over the phone, and he book the appoinment on wednesday. so my appoinment is now tomorrow.

aibu to be pissed off he has gone behind my back

OP posts:
worraliberty · 21/07/2011 22:07

It sounds like he has your best interests at heart

Also, depression can affect everyone in the family if someone suffers from it.

Are you going to go?

JiltedJohnsJulie · 21/07/2011 22:07

Think he is only concerned about you and also think you are being very brave posting in AIBU when you suspect you have depression.

cheekeymonkey · 21/07/2011 22:08

He cares about you - that must be awful for you.

Seriously he lives with you so he must be afraid that you are not coping well atm.

If there is nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about.

Good luck Smile

Sidge · 21/07/2011 22:08

YABU, he loves and cares for you. Stopping your ADs without support or supervision is not a good idea.

Sometimes when we are under that grey cloud we can't see what is best for us, and it takes someone who loves us to take us by the hand and lead us.

JellyMould · 21/07/2011 22:09

I think he is right - it's really important to come off anti-depressants slowly, with drs advice. Just stopping them is likely to make the depression come back.

Original poster
notsostrong · 21/07/2011 22:09

i really don't know, but knowing my husband he will get me there if i like it or not

OP posts:
saladsandwich · 21/07/2011 22:10

sounds like he is just concerned i don't think yabu in being annoyed but i dont think he is being unreasonable either. will it hurt to just go to the drs? you really should come off anti d's gradually x

bubblesincoffee · 21/07/2011 22:11

Well, what would your reaction have been if he had told you he thought you should go back?

I think he has done it because he loves you, and he doesn't ant you to suffer any more than you have to. This is a good thing. It would be so so much worse if he barely noticed, or noticed but did nothing.

Also, you are a family, your illness affects him, and if he is ill it affects you. I think the other half of a married couple is entitled to some say in things like this tbh.

VelveteenRabbit · 21/07/2011 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
notsostrong · 21/07/2011 22:15

if he told me bubble i doubt i would of even phoned

OP posts:
MitchiestInge · 21/07/2011 22:20

why did you stop taking them?

I wouldn't be very happy either, it's really up to you to decide if you want to see the gp or not.

MitchiestInge · 21/07/2011 22:21

(so I don't think you are being unreasonable at all)

OurPlanetNeptune · 21/07/2011 22:21

I understand why you would be annoyed but I do agree with the others that it seems he did it with the best of intentions.

I will also echo what has been said upthread that coming off the meds unsupervised is not recommended.

I wish you the very best OP.

valiumredhead · 21/07/2011 22:23

IMO you should take on board that your dh is worried enough to take such a drastic step. I would go and see the GP and ask to be referred for counselling if you don;t want to go back on meds.

Original poster
notsostrong · 21/07/2011 22:23

i think i will have to go to

OP posts:
Kayano · 21/07/2011 22:24

My SIL keeps taking herself off er meds without seeing a doc, or getting the meds and binning them straight away. she thinks it means there is something wrong with her.

I sympathised at first but her behaviour was out of control and her refusal to get help/ assure people she was ok when she obviously wasn't wore thin after a while.

I think you know you need help and what Dp did was right. Its nothing to be ashamed of and don't push people away by saying your OK

squeakytoy · 21/07/2011 22:25

I think you may be advised to listen to your husband and understand that he is doing this because he is worried.

My husband suffered a breakdown last year, and if I hadnt sorted out medical appointments for him and cajoled him into going "for my peace of mind" he wouldnt have gone, because he wouldnt accept that he was as ill as he was.

Its a lot easier for those closest to you to see the difference, and realise that you are unwell before you see it yourself a lot of the time.

Original poster
notsostrong · 21/07/2011 22:28

i am just sick of taking tablets, i don't think counselling would help as i can not talk to other people due to a speach problem.

OP posts:
BrummieMummie · 21/07/2011 22:30

I have suffered from depression on and off throughout my life and at times, my mum and DH have booked doctors appointments for me because I simply couldn't or wouldn't do it myself. When you are depressed you behave irrationally. In some cases, those who are close to you can see that you need help before you do. Your DH has not done this to piss you off, but because he loves you and he wants you to get help for your depression.

Why did you stop taking your ADs? Being on ADs is not shameful and I can't see any reason why you should try to "do without them" if you are depressed. Even if you feel better, you really should stay on them long term to prevent the depression from returning. If you are having side effects or they are not working then I think you should go back to the doctor anyway and ask for a different one. It is like the Pill in that different ones work for different people and it is a case of trial and error working out which is right for you.

FWIW, I think you should go to the appointment. I know you don't feel like doing it, because I have been there, but it can only help.

ManicPanic · 21/07/2011 22:32

Surely your speech problem doesn't completely rule out talking to people? How do you communicate with your husband? There is nothing wrong with taking tablets - I would rather take tablets until they come out of my ears than live with the awful illness that is depression.

It may be difficult for you to talk to a counsellor, but it is certainly worth giving it a go if you want to get to the root cause of your illness. Don't dismiss it out of hand, please. Hope things get better for you X

Sassybeast · 21/07/2011 22:32

30mgs of citalopram is a fairly large dose - it took me 4 months to reduce down from 10mgs. You shouldn't have come off them without at least discussing it with your GP. It may be that some of the issues which are causing your DH to be concerned are down to withdrawal symptoms - go see your GP and be glad that your hubby is concerned,

Kayano · 21/07/2011 22:32

Suck it up an take them! Sorry but you are prescribed then for a reason and if you don't you are just making it hard for the ppl who love you

It actually angers me when ppl moan about their issues when they don't do the one thing to help themselves

I speak from experience. It is so irritating

valiumredhead · 21/07/2011 22:32

My psychiatrist told me the longer you stay on anti d's initially the less likely you are to relapse in the future. You need a good 6 months of feeling well and able to cope at least, before coming off them slowly!

Original poster
notsostrong · 21/07/2011 22:40

will the doctor take me seriously. I am a little scared of going back even though my husband is coming in with me

OP posts:
Original poster
notsostrong · 21/07/2011 22:42

i will read anymore replys to this thread in the morning, as i have the school run tomorrow morning need to go to bed

OP posts: