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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to strangle women who...

167 replies

GenevieveHawkings · 20/07/2011 13:45

...bring little toddlers to school assemblies and bring nothing along to amuse/distract them with?

I have just been to my DS's leavers assembly and had it ruined by two toddlers who variously cried/whinged/whined/yelled throughout. It's not the children's fault - it went on for well over 2 hours as they went through 50 + children so they were bound to get bored. The mothers of these children just kept them on their laps and tried to contain them as they wrigged and squirmed and got ever more impatient and upset - and demonstrated it very vocally!

One woman's partner did take their child out of the hall and into the corridor at one point but it bellowed so loudly for its mother out there he might just as well not have bothered.

I can understand that they didn't want to miss their own child being done by either not attending or taking a bored toddler outside to allow everyone else the chance to enjoy it but these women didn't even have the courtesy to leave after their own children had been done. They made sure they stayed until the bitter end and ruined it for everyone else!

Don't most sensible people take a few bits to keep a child amused if they know they are going somewhere where a child needs to be as quiet as possible and may become bored and/or a nuisance?

All these women seemed to do to keep their children quiet was to try and keep ramming food into their mouths and doing this seemed to anger and frustrate these children all the more!

Having said that, there was one little girl there who looked about 2 and she was as quiet as a mouse the whole time, she spent some of the time on her mum's lap and the rest in her buggy.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 20/07/2011 13:48

Toddlers and babies are not allowed to my DS's plays/assemblies.

The school provides a creche for them

Numberfour · 20/07/2011 13:48

YABU

pingu2209 · 20/07/2011 13:49

But a very small child will only ever really be amused for 5 or 10 mins with 1 item anyway. So to cover a full 2 hours the mothers would have had to bring a play room full of stuff.

If your school hall is like mine, you only get given a chair to sit on so there is no real space for any little children to play.

I think you are being unreasonable. Extremely intollerent.

NoobyNoob · 20/07/2011 13:49

Even so, a few toys won't do bugger all for two hours will it?

What are the parents supposed to do with the toddlers if no-one else can look after them?

HarrietJones · 20/07/2011 13:51

2 hour assembly? I'd expect lots of infants to be bored in that time!

LemonDifficult · 20/07/2011 13:54

2 hour assembly? I'd expect lots of parents to be bored by then.

YABU. It's a school, parents have children.

picturerail · 20/07/2011 13:56

YABU and as pingu says really intolerant. Your attitude suggests children should be seen and not heard OP - it was a school leaver's assembly FFS!!

januaryjojo · 20/07/2011 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeopleCallMeTricky · 20/07/2011 14:00

It was good of the woman's partner to take the child out, presumably being a man he bore no responsibility for bringing the child in the first place though? Hmm

AuntieMonica · 20/07/2011 14:00

YABU to blame the women

AuntieMonica · 20/07/2011 14:01

quite, PeopleCallMeTricky

Hmm
GenevieveHawkings · 20/07/2011 14:05

Glad to hear it JanuaryJoJo - that's what any normal, reasonable, considerate person would do.

These women should at the very least have had the common courtesy to leave after their child had been done. That would have been the kindest and most considerate thing to do for everyone concerned - and most of all for their own bored, frustrated thoroughly fed up toddlers!

OP posts:
Greatdomestic · 20/07/2011 14:09

2 hours is a long slog for a toddler.

I had similar experience at school assembly recently. The mum had no toys/snacks for the child, and just smiled and clapped along when the toddler got a bit over excited - which was for the total duration of the assembly. The mum seemed a bit surprised that all other parents round about didn't seem as captivated by her toddler as she was - but really was there to see DC doing their bit.

However, it was only for 1 hour, and ime that's what school assemblies are generally like.

LemonDifficult · 20/07/2011 14:13

OP, do you think the parents 'women' who were there should not have gone if they couldn't find someone to look after the toddlers?

Can I ask how many children do you have?

Blu · 20/07/2011 14:14

Suggest that the PTA run a creche for the longer school events - plays / leavers assembly etc?

COCKadoodledooo · 20/07/2011 14:24

I'd guess that this is something you've never had to deal with personally (keeping small child amused whilst desperate not to miss older child's big moment), am I right?

The only way younger siblings will learn appropriate ways to behave in such situations is if they are included in them.

I have to say I personally find the shushing and sharp 'be quiet!'s that come from the parents (yes op, both male and female - discipline is not just the mother's department!) much more distracting than a bit of singing or chatting from a toddler.

octopusinabox · 20/07/2011 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/07/2011 14:38

YABU. Sexist as well.

biddysmama · 20/07/2011 14:41

i have a toddler(28 months) and a baby (10 months)... my dh works full time so cant take them outside, am i not allowed to go to my ds's award ceremonies?

FreudianSlipper · 20/07/2011 14:43

i could not keep ds entertained for 30 minutes with all his toys/books etc even with his cars

yabu

mickeyjohn · 20/07/2011 14:44

Crikey OP - hope you're never in my DCs school assemblies!! I bet you hate small kids on aeroplanes too......

ragged · 20/07/2011 14:45

A TWO HOUR Leaver's assembly for Year 6 is definitely unreasonable. That's the real problem, imo.

GenevieveHawkings · 21/07/2011 22:11

Ideally I think the school should have provided a creche for the assembly. Either that or the assembly should have been arranged so that the children of parents with toddlers should have been done within the first 15 minutes. That way the parents/toddlers could then have left pronto and allowed the rest of us to enjoy the proceedings in peace.

It was a shame for the leavers too, some of whom could barely hear what their headteacher/teachers were saying to them during their big moment in the spotlight such was the level of racket and din.

OP posts:
Al0uiseG · 21/07/2011 22:13

Two hours! How awful.

paisleyII · 21/07/2011 22:16

i agree, it would have pissed me off, who wants to hear someone elses kid kick off when you are trying to hear what the kids are doing, i would have taken my child outside, i would not have continued to sit there. too many 'yabu's here, oh so very right on

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