To feel humiliated.

[Tomatefarcie]

This morning, while dropping DD1 (7) off, I overheard her say something nasty to another little girl. I was just on my way out so came back to the little lobby where they hang their coats. I gave her a gentle telling off, she apologized to the little girl, but a 3rd girl joined in and started having a go at the other girl.

I asked them all to stop, which they did. They went in their classroom, and I started making my way out. I then overheard the girls starting to bicker again, so walked in the classroom, smiled at DD's teacher, said to her (with a smile), "the girls are bickering". I then turned to the 3 girls, and said "come on girls, it's a beautiful day out there, don't waste it bickering, shake hands and smile!", in a very light hearted manner. The girls did just that, smiled and went to sit down.

The teachers were almost next to me, heard the whole thing (which lasted 2 minutes). They smiled at me and off I went.

At 2:15 this afternoon, I received a phone call from the headmistress. Basically, DD's teacher felt overwhelmed by me talking to the girls, it should not have happened, and gave me a stern telling off. I was so shocked that I didn't even think of anything to reply. I did say that the teachers were next to me almost, and I made eye contact with them, and smiled. She kept on nonetheless.

So at pickup earlier, I went to see DD's teacher. the conversation was very awkward on my part as she had huge mirrored aviator sunglasses on, which prevented me from seeing her eyes completely. Anyway, she said that I shouldnt have done what I did, that I intimidated the children by telling them off, was loud, and made a show of it. I was - and still am- stunned.

I was in such good mood, didn't tell them off as such, just playfully asked them to shake hands and stop bickering, which took me less time than it did typing it just now.I had no idea that what I was doing was wrong, (was it?), let the teachers know what it was about (the bickering), and was smiled at the both the teacher and the TA.

The way DD's teacher talked to me at pickup time made me feel that big (I got treated to "make sure it doesn't happen again" for example), and I thought a huge mountain had been made out of a molehill by involving the headmistress. I did ask her why she didn't come and see me straight away, or at least sort of signal me to stop, or come over and ask "is everything ok?". she said "because it was the morning".

I must admit to having this humiliation feeling, and I'm honestly dreading September as she will then be DD2's teacher!

I'm sitting on my hands not to write an email to the Head. AIBU?

Don't think there are cats bum faces at all tbh- people have just given their response that in most schools most 7 years olds don't need or want their mother following them into school, and that involving yourself in childrens disputes inside the classroom in front of the teacher and in particular getting them all to shake hands (what on earth is THAT all about?!) is just not helpful. It doesn't mean parents are unwelcome in the classroom or that the teacher cant deal with disputes or any of the other things people have assumed on here

Assuming you win, you and the headteacher should then have a pistols at dawn duel.

This shaking hands business is just for soft modern westerners.

tut tut shaking hands is AWFUL isn't it. What IS it about. I think the OP must indeed be very odd.

Er... I think you're over thinking this now finally. Shaking hands is not awful when adults do it as a greeting or to shake on a deal or something.

Its rather strange when a parent enters a classroom and starts engineering it between a group of children, who probably wondered what on earth she was doing . I'm wondering now whether the head was actually acting on a complaint from another parent about this. I would not be particularly impressed by a parent doing this with one of my kids when they were in school.

Inthenightkitchen, you have just made me burst out laughing.

I deserved that one.

No other complaints from anyone as I am the one who told the mums about it. I know them well and their kids have all come and played at my house before.

You overstepped the mark a bit going into the classroom, but you have already acknowledged that.

Teacher probably reported it to the Head, because it involved you 'telling off' other children, not just your own, however nicely or jokingly you did it. If other parents would have complained to the teacher or head, you could have caused a lot of ill feeling and trouble. But you didnt, other parents were ok about it, but the teacher wasnt to know that.

perhaps the bickering girls got out of hand and it escalated? they had to be sent out and your name was mentioned to the head.?

dunno.
what does your dd say about the matter?