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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find it sad only 3 parents showed up

240 replies

biddysmama · 13/07/2011 14:35

ds's school has an informal coffee afternoon for the kids with sen/ld so their parents can go in and see who will be working with their child and what they are doing/have done, they have things for younger kids to do aswell so you can talk and they tell parents how they are doing and what action atc being taken..... i went to it yesterday and out of 30 kids 3 parents went :(

i know not everyone can make it but i know some of the parents dont work (inc my neighbour who was definately at home)

their little faces as they came into the room and no one was there for them and my crazy pregnant lady hormones made me want to cry :(

OP posts:
aliceliddell · 13/07/2011 14:39

Sad miserable gits. Hope they get better at life in general soon.

ddubsgirl · 13/07/2011 14:40

:(

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 13/07/2011 14:41

That's absurd. Do you think that maybe there was a miscommunication? I can't believe so few parents would give a shit :(

HeadfirstForHalos · 13/07/2011 14:41

Haha! That beats our last SN coffee morning! There was just the 2 of us sat therewith 6 proffessionals who had driven to the school to give advice, the SENCO and the head. Well on the bright side we did get plenty of attention but I agree it is sad. I knew of at least a dozen that didn't work and there was lots of notice.

itisnearlysummer · 13/07/2011 14:41

YANBU. I hate looking at the little faces of the children as they come into the room all expectantly looking round for someone who isn't there.

Working parents shouldn't feel guilty, but those sitting at home watching Home and Away should be ashamed of themselves!

I'd assume most parents would jump at the chance of this. I would!

Original poster
biddysmama · 13/07/2011 14:43

the kids made the invitations them selves, i know ds1 was very excited to show me his and stuck it to the fridge :)

OP posts:
MotherofallDragons · 13/07/2011 14:43

how utterly shit Sad

knitpicker · 13/07/2011 14:43

Sounds to me like the school could have organised it better. As we all know most parents are far from indifferent about their children's education and would make a huge effort to be there is there if there was any chance of interaction with teachers and not just a meet the pther parents type affair.

TubbyDuffs · 13/07/2011 14:44

Good God, I'm welling up, and I'm not even pregnant!

HeadfirstForHalos · 13/07/2011 14:47

I've been doing a weekly course at school too called SEAL, judging from the parents asked to attend it appears to be aimed at children with SN (2 of mine have ASD), LD and general behaviour and confidence issues.

We spend time as a group discussing strategies and then the children come in and we do related tasks with them (more fun than it sounds :)).

The same 3 parents keep not turning up and every week their dc look miserable and have to join in with the other families. Some people just don't care.

LineRunner · 13/07/2011 14:49

We had a 'meet the new Head' event. There were 12 of us parents. Out of 1500.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 13/07/2011 14:52

My two are at a SN school and sadly it's the same old faces that turn up time and time again, my heart was breaking when I went to see the signing choir (my kids aren't even in it ) and a boy at the front was signing his little heart out, scanning the front, looking out for his dad.

Same with the parents group, signing group etc. Me and around 8 diehard parents / grandparents, the christmas play is about the only thing that's packed out (thank god)

I have noticed that when dd was at mainstream school, the things there were much better attended, parents eemed more interested in general tbh. I wouldn't say this is the norm, but I have noticed it over the years.

GeekCool · 13/07/2011 14:55

Oh that makes me sad :(

papermate · 13/07/2011 14:55

We had something similar last week, 10 out of 16 turned up, I know 3 work full-time, have no idea where the other 3 were.

flyingspaghettimonster · 13/07/2011 14:55

I can kind of understand the parents points of view. My own kids aren't special needs, but much as I love them, I have to force myself to go to all their myriad school shows, award ceremonies, carol services blah-blah-blah... I don't get any pleasure out of such events or the required socializing with other parents. I know the kids are proud of their achievements and so I make the effort or at least make sure one parent is there in the audience to take photos and wave appropriately, but it is a chore to me. I imagine if my kids were special needs and required more constant attention then the few hours they are in school would be very valuable down time and a coffee morning might well seem that much more of a chore. Sad that the kids were disappointed, but surely the teachers are aware that these things are unpopular and could have saved the children the disappointment...

papermate · 13/07/2011 14:57

Oh this is just for reception take, not sen etc.

Original poster
biddysmama · 13/07/2011 15:01

this was their chance to speak to the support workers that would be working with them next year and to find out what the special needs group have been doing etc i dont see why you wouldnt want to know that?

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 13/07/2011 15:02

' I imagine if my kids were special needs and required more constant attention then the few hours they are in school would be very valuable down time and a coffee morning might well seem that much more of a chore. '

I make more effort for DS because, well, everything else about school is so complicated, that it seems more important that wee things like that went well for him...

if that makes sense?

sausagesandmarmelade · 13/07/2011 15:04

That's a shame....and I'm pretty surprised that not more parents valued their children's education enough to ensure make more effort to attend.

razzlebathbone · 13/07/2011 15:08

Oh God I am almost in tears at my desk.

That is rubbish. Angry Sad

YANBU

pingu2209 · 13/07/2011 15:10

As a mum with a child with SEN I think that is a fab idea of your school. Sad only 3 parents turned up. I would have been there if it was my school.

itsybitsy08 · 13/07/2011 15:20

YANBU Sad

How awful.

It must also be very disheartening for the teachers as well as disappointing for the poor kids bless them.

And I would think the same regardless of what kind of school it was.

2shoes · 13/07/2011 15:24

lovely thread, I do so love to see parents of children with sn judged.
ye t working parents excluded from it.

AuntiePickleBottom · 13/07/2011 15:26

yanbu, i hate it when the school have these type of meeting as i am always in work...and yes i do feel very guilty even though there is no way of me taking the time off.

if i was a sahm, i would feel like it was my job to go.

Did it say on the invite...small children welcomed because if it didn't perhaps thats the reason

drcrab · 13/07/2011 15:27

maybe it was because it was 'informal'. Many parents will see that as a 'non-compulsory' event so even if they weren't working, they may have had other things to do ? my DS is in nursery/pre-school and we've turned up to most things. However there've been events like 'mothers day treat' where I've just been at work and couldn't leave for an hour in the mid-afternoon.