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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find it sad only 3 parents showed up

240 replies

biddysmama · 13/07/2011 14:35

ds's school has an informal coffee afternoon for the kids with sen/ld so their parents can go in and see who will be working with their child and what they are doing/have done, they have things for younger kids to do aswell so you can talk and they tell parents how they are doing and what action atc being taken..... i went to it yesterday and out of 30 kids 3 parents went :(

i know not everyone can make it but i know some of the parents dont work (inc my neighbour who was definately at home)

their little faces as they came into the room and no one was there for them and my crazy pregnant lady hormones made me want to cry :(

OP posts:
TheHumanCatapult · 15/07/2011 22:49

no gooseberry ds school is in fact a ms school not a special school , but not local to me so yes there is probably a parent like you judging me .

Wanders of to see who wants a straw with their drinks at a the pub

Gooseberrybushes · 15/07/2011 22:50

what's an ms school

fatlazymummy · 15/07/2011 22:51

Yeah I am. I'm so fat and lazy. I can't be arsed to get off my big fat lazy arse and go to informal coffee afternoons at my kids school. Oh no, my poor children. What a shame they haven't got a lovely slim energetic mother like you.
There you go love.

TheHumanCatapult · 15/07/2011 22:52

gooseberry no one is saying there is not parents that dont give a dam but think your find that is a minority especially when a child has a statement/dx becuas eparents would have fought hard to get their child help.

so on your bases as ds attends a ms school and since your not know i do not live local you would judge me and probably reckon I am a crap lazy mum

Gooseberrybushes · 15/07/2011 22:52

don't care fatlazymummy - but hope you enjoyed that

TheHumanCatapult · 15/07/2011 22:53

main stream a normal primary school the sort of school you are talking about

Gooseberrybushes · 15/07/2011 22:55

"especially when a child has a statement/dx becuas eparents would have fought hard to get their child help."

that's worth saying - but does no child get sen help unless the parents have fought for it - I find that rather hard to believe - sen help is different to statements and dx surely

and I don't think this is like that - including children who struggle with reading

Gooseberrybushes · 15/07/2011 22:55

why a ms school 3.5 hours away? you don't have to answer obviously

2shoes · 15/07/2011 22:56

ok I am going to try and explain this to the sour one,
if you have a child with sn/sen the chances are they won't go to a "local" school in the catchment area, now obviously some will, but a proportion won't.
they will probably live miles away. not all ms schools are set up to have dc's with sen/sn, and obviously parents will fight to get them into the school that can help them the most. this is the same for ms and sn.
so there is no catchment/local involved,
so a parent going to a coffe morning might have a very long journey,which might not be viable if they have other children.

fatlazymummy · 15/07/2011 22:56

No sorry, I'm too fat and lazy to enjoy anything.

TheHumanCatapult · 15/07/2011 22:58

sorry gooseberry a child may get as little 10-15 mins a week without a statement .or may infact get nothing

and am pretty sure you do not know out of those children who has statement who does not or know the family circumstances .yet you feel that you have the right to judge

TheHumanCatapult · 15/07/2011 23:00

Becuas emy local school has no experaince in special needs .Plus ds3 has a taxi so is only a hour for him .The 3 and 1/2 rs is what it takes me each way to get to is school by public transport .

but at a coffee morning you would not know that

TheHumanCatapult · 15/07/2011 23:02

Gooseberry i spent 11 hrs travelling last week due to dealys for his parents evening .but I will not be their next week at the family picnic afternoon .and am pretty sure i shall be judged for it by parents who do not have a clue or live in my world

budgieshell · 15/07/2011 23:08

Oh this thread is driving me nuts. Some schools are trying so hard to offer support to their children and parents by including them in their childs school life they don't always get it right but if they did nothing we would be the first to complain.

I work and make choices of which events I go to. If I can go I do. My DD may not have the staring role in the school play but the fact she can now climb the 2 steps to get up there fills me with more pride than the mother of a child with a leading role.

You make your choice go or don't go but don't complain if the school stops offering these event due to lack of interest.

2shoes · 15/07/2011 23:11

oh I go to loads, I just avoid coffe mornings.....
I have spent today at dd's school
but guess what I didn't judge the parents who didn't turn up, they probally had good reasons.

Gooseberrybushes · 15/07/2011 23:11

Actually 2shoes I was doing alright with catapult there so no worries

thanks catapult for explaining - I appreciate your situation

but there are parents who don't go because they can't be arsed and yes I judge them - how can any one not - that's what is getting my goat

2shoes · 15/07/2011 23:16

Gooseberrybushes because sometimes you get it wrong.\I once judged a mum, I couldn't understand why she wasn't at the events the school organised, then I chatted to her and found out that her dd was so distressed during and after, it became cruel,
so I learn't not to judge(think it is called empathy)

TheHumanCatapult · 15/07/2011 23:17

but gooseberry how do you know which ones fail to meet your standards to judge or those that have genuine reasons for not coming ?.

budgieshell · 15/07/2011 23:18

When I first went back to work and missed an assembely a mother took great delight in telling me how upset my dd was that I wasn't there. I would not judge any one for not going. I have also been sat behind parents who turn up and talk to each other the whole time not even noticing when their dc are waving at them. Which is worst?

TheHumanCatapult · 15/07/2011 23:19

I know some of the parents at ds3 school judge me .Have heard the oh poor ds3 no one came to see or do ....

but they have no clue .Luckily his teacher understands why i can not always get to things .so on the family picnic he will have alot of fun as he have her and the TA to spoil him

He will not mind a jot that i am not there

Dexifehatz · 15/07/2011 23:31

27,that's 27 out of 30 did not turn up.That's a poor fucking show in anyone's book.I know why people don't like the comment about the 'poor faces', but believe me I've seen them too many times too listen to anyone try to justify them anymore.

TheHumanCatapult · 15/07/2011 23:34

dex we ar enot justfying but pointing out that at least in some of the cases theres a genuine reason why people are not there

TheHumanCatapult · 15/07/2011 23:38

oh and the person that has pm me to have a go and say I probably sit on my arse all day your right I do exactly that Grin

2shoes · 16/07/2011 09:31

i hope you reported them.

Riveninside · 16/07/2011 09:49

My eyes have been openend. I cant be arsed to slog 3 miles to go to dds school. Far as im concerned, school is respite and childcare. Its too give me a break.
Actually, now i feel all free.
And i think non sn parents should butt out. They havent a clue.