To not go and see new baby because of this?

[Piggyleroux]

Dh's db and his wife had their first baby yesterday. Bil called us this morning to give us a 'time slot' to visit which is not until Monday. They are being a bit pfb about the whole thing but each to their own and I understand they don't want to be overwhelmed with visitors.

Bil called again this afternoon to request that when we visit we leave ds at home. He is 15 mo. Bil said that his dw does not want any disruptions and wants to maintain a peaceful environment. We are unclear whether this extends to other family members on his dw side as we are the only ones on his side with a child.

I have refused to go on the basis that if ds isn't welcome then I will not be coming either. We have no one to leave him with, they live a two hour drive away and he is part of the family. I even offered to sit in the car with him while dh sees the baby and then I will go in, but they refused saying that they are worried that a young child will make noise????

In laws reckon I am being childish, but I don't think so. Apologies if I don't reply straight away but am due in work.

Shecutofftheirtails - do you want to tell that to my MIL?

SheCutOffTheirTails, you don't love your child less or become less concerned for it's welfare, or miss it less when you are away from him/her just because it is older. Your child is just as important to you at 15 months (or whatever age) as it was the day it was born. The only thing that changes is that you become more confident in your ability to look after a baby properly and you have more awareness of what is okay for your child to be around and what isn't.

The point is that each child will be of ultimate importance to its parents and so when the OPs BIL asks her to leave behind her baby, he should consider how he would feel if it was being asked of him.

If you feel the same way about your 15 month old as you did the day after they were born I pity that child. - not sure what you mean by that shecutoff but I can only speak for myself that 18 years later I feel exactly the same for my eldest DS as the early days, probbaly more now that Ive got to know him as a person actually.

As for the OP - yes its all PFB, bugger that, unless you are that keen to see a newborn dont bother, just picture them when their PFB is 15 months