AIBU to call my 14 year old dd a "fucking bitch"

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow]

- i didn't say it outloud, I just said it to myself in my head

she is being absolutely vile and thinks she can talk to me like something she trod in and I am sick to the back teeth of being spoken to disrespectfully.

I spent £40 on art supplies for her art exhibition she is doing this coming Friday. Today I started a job and I might not be able to go to her exhibition because I might be working Friday night. I have paid for her and supported her and driven her to her art activities all year long - I told her today I might not be able to go because of work but that I would be able to get there for the after-party and she said

"if you can't come to the exhibition don't bother coming to the after-party - i'd be embarresed if you were there anyway"

her db, ds and dad can go, it's just me that can't.

rhu didn't mnention bullying nore did she mention to me that she was on this thread.

its a subject that i would look in - i'm off work today - and i did.

my perception is that there is more than a difference of opinion going on. i maintain that wholeheartedly.

There is a seperation of subject matter and how it is delivered.

As I've said before, my ds was lovely to everyone out of the house, it took years for some family members to see that what I had been saying was right, if you were his teacher, my mum or my sister you wouldn't have even realised how bad he could be so I don't think teaching teens having contact with friends/ families teens means anything, after all your not parenting them so they arnt rebelling against you

TSC, I went off to pick my children up thanks. And nowhere have I said "if only you were more like this or that..." that is a defensive reaction to someone with an opinion you don't like.

I am questioning what really happens. I won't apologise again for offending anyone. I'm fed up of stating that I am not here to offend but to offer my view on a free thread. If you don't like my view then fair enough, just don't try to make out that my posts imply anything they don't.

The Kevin Syndrome is a modern phenomenon. Why?

Don't think it is a modern phenomenon , my nana says my mum was just the same as a teen 40 odd years ago

Well, we still have to hear from someone who actually lives with a teenager to come and post that it is easy to parent a teenager and that as long a they are into sport/have nice friends/have strict parents they will NEVER answer back/slam a door/be rude.

Quick, actually I already answered that question.

There was more respect for adults and not just because of the belt. There were many families who never used a belt and never had to. Teenagers learnt respect through society, through school, neighbours etc. You wouldn't dare swear in public in front of adults. But now you have 10 year olds telling you to fuck off and then those kids turn into teenagers and befriend your lovely teenager.

Its not new really is it Rhubarb? It is from the 1950s. This is when the term teenager was coined and the church, society and parents became worried by this phenonemon of out of control youths with outrageous fashion, loose morals, suggestive music and dancing, drugs, fast cars and crime.

So no - its not modern its about 60 years old.

Teenagers didnt exist until the 50s. Its a social construction.

They went to school (if they were lucky) till they were 12ish then the went to work. The girls went into service and the boys down mines or similar.

They very probably had less hormones as well due to malnutrition. Girls periods started later in those days, they can start at about 10 now.

So you went from child to adult overnight pretty much or you died before you had the chance.

x poste

I think she's lucky you didn't know her block off Notso!
Or at the very least tipped her art supplies all over her head.
My older 2 past all that now but by goodness do i remember what a complete and utter twat my eldest was!
How she survived past 14 is beyond me but now she's fab, lovely girl, hard working, lovely BF, ambition, degree etc...(22)
What I'm saying is they do generally grow out of it and you'll most likely have a great relationship once she does.
They always take it out on the ones they love the most.

LeQueen, I hesitate to agree with you in case of another flaming. But when you hear parents telling how they step on eggshells around their teens you do wonder.

Custy, thanks for the support mate. You are one of the people who can tell me you wholeheartedly disagree with me and then we'll just laugh about it. I fully respect your opinions even if they are not the same as mine and just wish others would do the same

oh yeah my DS was loved by all. They thought he was the bee's knees.

Better than them thinking he was the little git he was at home I suppose.

I think I should send dd down't'pit

or install her in the shed, like AWA does

i honestly hope i never feel this way about my daughter! I think you are being unfair calling her vile etc. you have to remember at that age they dont have much perspective on life, and she may think that this exhibition is 'the most important thing shes ever done' and knowing you cant be there would be upsetting. Maybe instead of coming on here and bad mouthing her you should talk to her and explain how she made you feel. much more productive i think.

i blame computers x boxes

That's the crux though isn't it? They DID have to grow up and take responsibility. Today teenagers don't have to take any responsibilty. They can live at home until they are 30, lounge around on benefits or have their Uni fees paid. They have spare cash that they can spend on booze and drugs - no-one seems to ask for rent anymore.

flippin eck greengirl, please do not search my name/teenager issues circa 2005- present

greengirl, I know it's so disrespectful isn't it?

Oh yes a bit of fear never did anyone any harm did it LeQueen

My DDs respect us but I would hate them to be fearful of me or their Dad.