to want to knock this little fuckwit's head off

[knobbysEx]

Boy on our street, 5 years old. KEEPS hittin, swearing at and spitting on my 3 year old ds. He's then lied to his parents about his behaviour and they have taken his side. Even though they know he's a little horrible fuckwit.

I've been out, spoken to him many times, spoken to the parents, banned him from my garden (then lifted the ban when he apologised, then banned him again for further fuckwit behaviour)
He's the youngest of 4 kids aged 5 - 9years in a workless household, parents never do a thing with the kids, just spend the benefit money on fags and takeaways as far as I can see. They just seem resigned to his behaviour whenever I've complained, and say "I know, I know..."

Latest problem, my dcs, aged 10, 8 and 3 playing on the front, this kid yday shouted "fuck off" on my 3 y o's face. My 10yo dd said "don't say that" and she got the finger. I went out and asked him if he wanted to be friends with my children, why is he swearing, why won't he answer when I'm speaking to him.... I got an insolent glare to everything I said, so I just sent him home. Dad comes out accusing me of shouting at his kid, blah blah blah (I didn't, I'd bloody well admit it if I did) and tells me I should get off my arse, shouldn't be sat inside all day, should be out watching my kids!! I GO TO WORK ALL DAY!!!!!!! TRY IT!

Anyway, I was so mad, I banned my kids from playing with the fuckwit, but today they were playing out - not with the boy - and the boy has grabbed my 3 y o's leg out from under him as he was walking past (there is a large green area outside the house where they play) and hurt his head. He then went straight home before I was summoned.

I just feel so fucking IMPOTENT that I can't go out there and grab this little fucking reprobate by the scuff of his neck and tell him the next time he touches my dc, I'll fucking rip his fucking head off!
AIBU? And more to the point, WHAT CAN I DO???
The parents just don't give a damn.

Because Altinkum....in this instance the OP's child has repeatedly been a victim of verbal and physical abuse from an older child. Plus a willfull three year old is a bloody handful.

The oldest sibling is 10 - not that that makes a difference to me. They would have to be in their mid teens for me to consider it - and mature as well. I don't think it's just a case of parenting differently. Would you say that if the child was 1 or 2?
And OP what did you do when your eldest was 3? Keep them in the house all day or send them out on their own. Or did you maybe find the time, in your bust schedule, to watch him yourself?

altinkum Different parenting is fine, but if there is a problem as a result of your parenting, e.g. allowing your 3yo to play outside unsupervised who then gets bullied by another child, then as a parent you have a responsibility to review that particular aspect of your parenting.

It might not seem fair to the OP that her youngest child should be kept inside, but that rather smacks of delegating the childcare responsibilities to her other children and then being annoyed that she might have to do it afterall. Clearly the older children aren't able to look after the 3yo or there'd be no problem.

Except that 3 yo's should be inside/supervised and not roaming free in the great urban outdoors.

I let my 4 year old play out the front with the other kids in our street...

... and fuckwit is one of the best words ever. So expressive

< crouches for cover, runs and hides >

Pagwatch is deciding if she has an opinion upon the weighty issues raised within this thread.

Pagwatch will eats some raspberries while she decides.

There will be a pagwatch update later.

Pagwatch update - like SpringWatch? So PagwatchWatch?

Hahaha @ Pagwatchwatch

pagwatchwatch

I love the way that mumsnet threads can completely turn on a tangent - in this case random human shit smears in municipal bins, and referring to oneself in the third person, like Yul Brynner in the 10 Commandments.

Three year olds shouldn't be roaming the streets and 10 yo shouldn't be supervising 3 yos as they should have a childhood. I don't care if the OP works all day - tough luck you are also a parent. Someone who thinks a 5 yo is a fuckwit is a complete disgrace and so therefore not worth advising.

Well I think he should be supervised 24/7.

At 3 yo it's a parent's responsibility to protect and ensure safety. Where's the protection being offered by this parent?

The answer is, there isn't any. It's being left to older siblings who should not have that level of responsibility.

If the 3 yo gets runs into the road and is knocked down by a car/injured in some other way whose fault is it? The mothers for not adequately protecting the child? The older siblings because they should have been watching him? The 3 yo?

MrsDevere has returned from her spray tan.

Please carry on.

getorfmoiland actually has work to do but it is very dull and she is procrastinating.

OP you should have known that the welfare of a child is never as important on MN as being 'PC'

When children start to play outside unsupervised they may be subjected to inappropriate behaviour, in this case referred to as fuckwitism. An older child can make a judgement call that certain behaviour is frowned upon within their home/school environment and choose not to copy. A 3 yo on the other hand may simply mirror the image unless an adult explains it is not 'nice'. Another problem is the younger ones try and impress the older ones by using the inappropriate language/behaviour.

ongar Have I missed something? The welfare of the child is considered important. That's why so many people are suggesting that she should be looking after her 3 yo and not letting him outside unsupervised.

I don't really have an issue with the language she is using to talk about the other child (if that's what your PC comment refers to) because she is clearly annoyed about it and, I'm assuming, just venting. I'm also assuming she wouldn't use that language to the child's face though!

op-the parents dont seem to able to handle him, thats why they dont seem to be doing anything.

personally i think 3 and 5 is too young to be left unsupervised anywhere,and i dont class older siblings supervision,it places too much responsibility on them and what about their fun.

My 3 year old plays outside my garden on the green with her 3 yr old friend over the road while me and her friends mother supervise drink coffee and slag the neighbours off. I would not expect my 9 and 7 yr old to supervise the 3 yr old. I would expect them to play out with their friends without their baby sister tagging along. I dont really think the OP can moan about the 5 year old if she is not supervising. There is always one kid who goes on like this. Unfortunately a 3 year old does not know how to deal with a 5 year old battering him. I would imagine if you continue to let him out he will copy the behaviour of the 5 year old. You yourself could end up with a 5 year old fuckwit.

Pagwatch has considered.

I would happily leave my three year old with older siblings in certain circumstances.

But those circumstances would be that the environment were reasonably safe and that the older siblings were not unduly burdened.

If I found that my three year old was regularly exposed to harm then it would no longer be a safe environment or appropriate. Anymore than if I found older siblings were using three year old as target for knife throwing act.

Leaving a three year old may be ok if the situation is safe.
When the child is consistently hurt or upset it is obviously not safe and the child should not be left alone.

Pagwatch is finished.

There really is no point getting into an arguement with other parents over children. Remove your child from the situation. If you do say anything it will cause bad blood and you the parents will never speak again and in a few years time the dc will all have matured a bit, will be as happy as larry together totally oblivious of the stress you've had over the whole thing. Happens everytime

Onehell is glad she read this thread as if a 3yo is ok to be unsupervised then a 4yo definately is and may even be capable of looking after a 2yo in which case she can save on babysitting costs for her anniversary on Monday more

Thanks, queen, I've decided to try again to engage with the boy, and have the boys play together under my CONSTANT supervision, and if he keeps behaving badly I will then just keep my boy indoors if I can't be there without taking my eyes off them. I've had them play together before, and the boy was really good with my lo, it's just when my back is turned he strikes.

My older kids are not burdened with responsibility. They play with their younger bro. Happily. If they want to play off somewhere else, they can, so long as they ask and I agree. I am onhand 24/7 to supervise, I am in and out of the house whilst they play out and other parents (just not the boy's) are around doing the same, but I am not constantly on guard.
My older children were not allowed out of the garden until they were MUCH older, I had a different job then where I worked shifts and had days off during the week, so had more time to be with the kids. They all play out together now as the area has improved a lot, and there are more children of like ages to play with, who cannot all come into the garden.
And I call it as I see it. I call a fuckwit spade a fuckwit spade.

"And I call it as I see it."

This is just a polite way of saying "yeah I'm a rude fucker."

That is why I said unduly burdened.

Ds1 loved playing with dd. But if she was difficult, the environment was difficult of there were other factors at play then I had to make a decision as to whether it was reasonable for him to be in charge even if he wanted to.