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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to knock this little fuckwit's head off

239 replies

knobbysEx · 07/07/2011 17:56

Boy on our street, 5 years old. KEEPS hittin, swearing at and spitting on my 3 year old ds. He's then lied to his parents about his behaviour and they have taken his side. Even though they know he's a little horrible fuckwit.

I've been out, spoken to him many times, spoken to the parents, banned him from my garden (then lifted the ban when he apologised, then banned him again for further fuckwit behaviour)
He's the youngest of 4 kids aged 5 - 9years in a workless household, parents never do a thing with the kids, just spend the benefit money on fags and takeaways as far as I can see. They just seem resigned to his behaviour whenever I've complained, and say "I know, I know..."

Latest problem, my dcs, aged 10, 8 and 3 playing on the front, this kid yday shouted "fuck off" on my 3 y o's face. My 10yo dd said "don't say that" and she got the finger. I went out and asked him if he wanted to be friends with my children, why is he swearing, why won't he answer when I'm speaking to him.... I got an insolent glare to everything I said, so I just sent him home. Dad comes out accusing me of shouting at his kid, blah blah blah (I didn't, I'd bloody well admit it if I did) and tells me I should get off my arse, shouldn't be sat inside all day, should be out watching my kids!! I GO TO WORK ALL DAY!!!!!!! TRY IT!

Anyway, I was so mad, I banned my kids from playing with the fuckwit, but today they were playing out - not with the boy - and the boy has grabbed my 3 y o's leg out from under him as he was walking past (there is a large green area outside the house where they play) and hurt his head. He then went straight home before I was summoned.

I just feel so fucking IMPOTENT that I can't go out there and grab this little fucking reprobate by the scuff of his neck and tell him the next time he touches my dc, I'll fucking rip his fucking head off!
AIBU? And more to the point, WHAT CAN I DO???
The parents just don't give a damn.

OP posts:
NobbedaBuilder · 07/07/2011 21:48

What's wrong with it is that the younger child is THREE!

altinkum · 07/07/2011 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

biscuitmad · 07/07/2011 22:05

Let your older children go outside to play. Tell them if the boy comes up and starts on either of them, to stand together and shout in his face to GO AWAY.

Take your 3 year old into the back garden to play were it is safe. This will give your older children freedom to interact and play with their friends. Why should they keep looking out for the youngest its not their responsibilty to look after a 3 year old.

The boy will find a new person to pick on.

NobbedaBuilder · 07/07/2011 22:10

Do I altinkum??? I don't actually think I use the word lightly at all. If anything happened to that child while it was left in the care of other kids the op would have questions to answer.

altinkum · 07/07/2011 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NobbedaBuilder · 07/07/2011 22:17

Are you pissed altinkum Grin

I didn't say anyone was committing a crime? I'm saying that it is more likely to be considered neglectful IF an accident took place when you have delegated the care of your 3yo to children. Would you leave a child babysitting a 3yo at home? If not why the hell would you leave a child looking them in the street?

Ishani · 07/07/2011 22:18

Wow Sheeman do you really do that with every little git your child comes across or are you lucky enough to not know any outside of work ?
Very kind of you but you'd be accused of grooming the little buggers around here and probably have the rozzers on your door step or an attempt at blackmailing you.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 07/07/2011 22:25

If the other siblings are lovely and its just the five year old who is a 'fuckwit' could he just possibly have SN?

Yeah yeah I know this always comes up in these threads but the OP did say every other child in the street including his siblings are nice and its all fab apart from this one single child.

He is five FFS. You are not.

MinnieBar · 07/07/2011 22:38

'Bumcakes'
HahahahHahaha

Sorry, that's probably not helping the bunfight debate.

ihatecbeebies · 07/07/2011 23:36

thefirst I had wondered that too but OP didn't answer when I asked what she thought

Original poster
knobbysEx · 08/07/2011 09:00

The OP is not qualified to diagnose ADHD or SN. And couldn't imagine approaching the parents of the boy and suggesting he might have them.Hmm

And in my defence at my colourful language on my post, this is NOT my "first reaction". I have never "screamed at him" as I have been accused. I have tried and tried to engage with this kid. He CAN be nice. Besides which, can we not say what we REALLY think?!

I know, I should "Hug a Hoody". Tried it.

My kids are not forced to look after their brother, and do not resent him. They play together beautifully most of the time, and there is a good group of kids on the street, of which my ds is the youngest. My elder two are allowed to go to friends' to play when they ask, so they aren't confined to the house because of "babysitting". I am around at all times, but coming home from work at different hours, I have catching up to do and wonderful nutritious delicious meals to prepare, so I can't be standing at the garden gate for hours when I get home from work keeping a constant eye on this boy.
I know my lo will feel that HE is the one being punished for the other boys behaviour when I tell him he can't play out if I'm not free to watch. Or "until he learns to headbutt effectively" but needs must.

OP posts:
BupcakesandCunting · 08/07/2011 09:08

Did you just refer to yourself in the third person?

Beyonce does that.

Fifis25StottieCakes · 08/07/2011 09:55

Was the 5 year old allowed to play out when he was 3 with the bigguns. I can see a situation in 2 years time where the 3 year old is the 5 year old Grin

Fifis25StottieCakes · 08/07/2011 09:55

who runs the world

GIRLS

skybluepearl · 08/07/2011 10:44

why don't you supervise while 3 year old is out?

if you can't supervise then keep 3 year old in own garden (with one friend maybe?) while bully boy is out.

can you have a rule that 3 year old is only allowed out if bully boy isnb't there?

Angel786 · 08/07/2011 11:14

Only let the 3 year old out when you're there to supervise and keep an eye on the demonic fuckwit.

biddysmama · 08/07/2011 11:18

do you live 2 doors up from me?? sounds like u described my neighbours! ive rung the police numerous times because shes gone out and left the kids alone (9,7,5 and 3) the 9 year old shot my 9 year old in the chest with a bb when he was playing with 2 year old dd in our garden, my kids cant play in our garden coe their throw stones and stick and swear at them, all we get is abuse if we say anything :(

Jux · 08/07/2011 12:37

knobbedabuilder, thanks for that. I was aware that the younger child was 3. I was also aware that the older ones were older. My elder brother and I kept an eye out and looked after our younger brother when he was THREE, and we were a lot younger than the op's two older children.

I still don't see what's wrong with asking the older children to look after their younger brother when they are playing out.

NobbedaBuilder · 08/07/2011 13:16

I have a 3 year old. I also manage to cook healthy meals . They don't have to play outside every waking hour! She plays in the garden on her trampoline and slide and I keep an eye on her out of the window. She doesn't have any older siblings but she does have a brother who will be 3 when she is 6 and there is no way in a month of Sundays that I will be passing over his care to her at that age - nor do I know anyone who would.
I don't think the world is necessarily a more dangerous place these days (aside from the ever increasing number of cars on the road) but we are certainly more aware these days when kids get lost, abducted, killed by cars etc. So I don't think it's really relevant what people used to do. My mum used to park my pram outside the supermarket when I was a baby, do her shopping and collect me on the way out and she assures me it's what most people did. I don't think most people would today.
I also find it weird that you think it would be wrong to leave the kids alone in the house but not outside - there are far more hazards outside!

thefirstMrsDeVere · 08/07/2011 13:20

That Alex one who married Jordon does that too.
And Kerry Katona
I even heard Tom Hardy do it once (oh Tom how could you?)

MrsDeVere would never do that.

BupcakesandCunting · 08/07/2011 13:28

Bupcakes would consider herself a right tit if she ever did it.

Oops.

GetOrfMoiLand · 08/07/2011 13:34

lol at this.

Can we not have a small corner of mumsnet called Scummer Corner and shove people like the OP in it? Then they can talk about clouting the little shits and knocking their fuckin' head off innit all together.

SusanneLinder · 08/07/2011 13:47

Thinks she has wandered into a recording of the Jeremy Kyle show and leaves sharpish

itisnearlysummer · 08/07/2011 13:51

IMVHO, three is far too young for a child to be playing outside unsupervised by an adult. Even in the back garden they should be supervised. Not under constant scrutiny maybe. But supervised, definitely.

That's it.

CrapolaDeVille · 08/07/2011 13:53

Why on earth aren't you looking after your three year old?