to not get why some women feel 'cheated' on when they find porn

[M0naLisa]

Now I know most porn threads turn into a debate and article about why porn is wrong on many levels. I understand that part!!

BUT what I don't understand is why some women feel like there husband has cheated on them when they find porn mags, websites, etc

He's not shagging those in the films/mags whatever, so why do women get obsessed when it comes to their bloke watching porn films/sites or buying mags?

If it's so innocent why then (9 times out of time) do men hide it from their spouses and deny it when confronted?

Because we don't want aggro! If you made clear to your OH that you are not offended by porn and that its a non-issue chances are you'd get a more truthful response.

It's like asking me if I've put the bin out. I'll tell you I have just for an easy life then go and do it before you get home!

Doesn't bother me in the slightest! It's not secret in our house and used by both of us!

Coco - can I ask, how old are you and how long have you been married?
I find that the older you get and the more your marriage matures and strengthens, the more secure you are so the more open and adventurous you become.

Sex in your forties is far better than in your twenties!

Very well said vesuvia but women are so busy running around saying "Gosh I'm such a laid back women I don't mind my husband watching porn at all! All these women who do are so insecure YaY for me" That they cannot comprehend what truly goes on in the porn industry.

Shallow and narrow minded much? Hm.

HowlingBitch - I said my own insecurities, where exactly do I imply that anyone else is insecure......?

Also, where exactly did I say I was comparing breast size?

It could be as simple as the colour of hair in some cases. I see myself as slim with pretty ok knockers so that was not what I meant.

Insecurity? Do you mean the women who do not feel happy about their husbands watching porn are all insecure because the women are slim and pretty with big boobs? You do know that there are many forms of porn? Skinny women, Big women, Pretty women, Ugly women, Big boobs, Small boobs (I could go on)

It doesn't have to be insecurity based on the "universal ideal" of slim/pretty/bigboobed. It can be insecurity stemming just from the fact that the women in the porn do not resemble the man's partner at all. So the insecure woman thinks "Oh dear, is that what he really fancies?".

What about IVF or sperm donation? Men get given a pot, a wank mag and a small room.

Is that being unfaikthful?

''There is so much trivialising on the thread it's actually become ridiculous. If it's so innocent why then (9 times out of time) do men hide it from their spouses and deny it when confronted?''

9/10 really?

It's like asking me if I've put the bin out. I'll tell you I have just for an easy life then go and do it before you get home!

Bahaha. Ahem. Ok then. :)

If you are insecure then that is a problem that will run throughout your marriage and needs fixing. because you wont like it if he sees a pretty woman in the street or has a sexy new colleague or sees a pop video and so on and so forth.

tigercametotea - exactly!

(and I always think camel toe when I see your name )

Porn - quite apart from my other reservations about it - makes me feel fat. And ugly. That's why.

howling this thread isnt about the porn industry its about why some women feel its cheating.

Vesuvia- the op specifically said the thread was not concerned with the ethics of the porn industry. I can completely understand why people would be uncomfortable with it for those reasons! I do not uunderstand why someone would equate a fantasy with actual cheating.

Oh Indigojohn...

Trust me I have done the open minded and adventorous long before DH. From my experience I am pretty clear which sex life I personally find leaves me in a better place.

I regret a lot tbh.

But really why cant I be adventourous with my own dh should I get bored anyhow? Perfectly acceptable.

If it's so innocent why then (9 times out of time) do men hide it from their spouses and deny it when confronted?

Some men aren't sure how their wives will take to it. Some men know their wives are insecure and just want an easier life. And I'm not too sure if 9 out of 10 times men will deny when confronted - I really don't know many who do. I'd be more suspicious of a man who denies having watched porn when he obviously did, really.

Well I'm afraid any thread indicating that porn is perfectly normal will have someone tell the truth about how awful the industry is.

It's very easy to pretend it isn't happening.

I find open minded and adventurous IN a good marriage the way forward, personally.

Otherwise, after twenty odd years you may get a bit bored.

Isnt it something you come across/discuss before you get married?

velvetsnow - I think someone on MN really did call me camel toe once before, and it was a man I think

jeez coco if you dont that is great, you might not always feel that way and if you dont, dont beat your self up its normal. but if you dont ever feel the need to think of any one else thats fine too. perfectly acceptable is fine.

i'm with indigo

Spooks it really has rattaed you I only need to imagine my dh hasnt it?

IndigoJohn
What about IVF or sperm donation? Men get given a pot, a wank mag and a small room.

Oh FFS ...
Very few men use wank mags during sperm collection. In fact their wives and partners are usually in there helping them out. The issue of porn in clinics has become a big issue of debate and are now rejected by a large number of couples and institutions.

This thread makes for miserable reading. It is staggering how many women are blind to the appalling suffering that the porn industry causes and are complicit in its consumption.

I mean rattled