to not get why some women feel 'cheated' on when they find porn

[M0naLisa]

Now I know most porn threads turn into a debate and article about why porn is wrong on many levels. I understand that part!!

BUT what I don't understand is why some women feel like there husband has cheated on them when they find porn mags, websites, etc

He's not shagging those in the films/mags whatever, so why do women get obsessed when it comes to their bloke watching porn films/sites or buying mags?

I like your term fizzy knickers shakey

I stopped looking at erotic lit by 19. It is written so crudely it put me off, hardly sexy and was a bit tiered of dogs and incest creeping into it all.

Why is a vibrator cheating?! Dh asked if I wanted one a few weeks ago. Its a piece of plastic!

A vibrator isn't cheating and neither is looking at porn.

I'm not comfortable with being told what I can and cannot do with my own mind and body. If someone told me what I could or couldn't watch or read they'd be told to go feck themselves.

A piece of plastic thats foes "whurr"= not cheating
A real person (and yes they are real- there is no loopholes on this)= cheating if agaisnt partners wishes

Whats your last comment about- who has told you what you can't do with your own mind or body?

I disagree.

If I watch Harry Potter it dosent mean I'm a wizard.

And DP watching porn does not mean he is cheating.

You told your husband what he could and couldn't do with his.

He cant look at pictures or photos of people having sex.

I know a fair few men who object to vibrators. I think that is ridiculous as well but it happens.

Eh? Where you got that from?

At the beginning of our realtionship I said "I dont want a partner who looks at porn". I felt confident enough to say that.

He was fine with it. If he had said porn was more important than a realtionship with me then it would have been heartbreaking but up to him and it would have been a dealbreaker.

I never told him what to do- I expressed my wishes and forunatley he wasnt bothered about porn anyway. If he hadnt wanted to give up then I either learn to live with it and tolerate it or decide the realtionship will not work.

Its what people do- discuss things like children, politics, religion and sex to make sure they are compatibale or can learn to live with differences!

So you told him that he couldn't look at pictures of people having sex as you didn't want him to.

It would be unacceptable to me to live with someone who felt they could dictate to me what I could read or watch.

I said "I dont like it. He said "I dont like it."

Just like if someone says "I want children". And the partner "says so do I".

I agree Indigojohn. Where does it end? Are you comfortable with having a partner who has any fantasy which does not involve you? Do you have to agree beforehand that he won't have images of anything other than you in his head while he masturbates?

Lol Electra!

What if something raunchy comes on the telly? Do you switch over?

What do you define as porn? Is he allowed a quick flick through the underwear section of the Kays catalogue? Or is that too sexy? Is the Boden swimwear okay?

What if gets an inadvertent stiffy whilst watching Fearne Cotton?

Im pretty sure most men stop getting stiffys over bra's and Fearne cotton after 15.

If its sexy why not, women dont have to be fully naked doing the business to turn people on.

So just to clarify Indigo your DH gets uncontrollable erections to bra's and Fearne Cotton?

There is a huge difference between someone getting bit frisky when daily life turns them on, and someone who deliberately seeks out images of a sexually explicit nature and wanks off on them. I think it is a bit stupid to pretend there isn't.

What happens when you watch a film and theres a sex scene do you turn it off?

Of course.

He might get all excited and be unfaithful with the lady on the telly.

Coco, what can I say?

He's a red blooded mature man.

Cocoflower, where on earth were you sourcing your erotic literature if 'dogs and incest' kept creeping in? It's most unusual to find those themes in erotic literature unless you really go looking for it, as no UK based publisher will accept anything involving coercion, animals, incest or serious injury.

SCGB there is a VERY famous author called Nancy Friday. Her work is available in just about any mainstream bookshop on and offline.

It has been in print since 1976 and reprinted many times. If you look on Amazon you can CLEALY see there is sections on "Incest" (Bella, Domique,Lola) and then "The Zoo" (beastilty).

I threw in the bin.

So Im afraid that is incorrect publishes have quite obvioulsy accepted work on these themes for decades.

Oh and www.literotica.com/stories/index.php

There is a whole lovely section dedicated solely to Incest. But dont think for a second they are confined to just that section. So again possibly the most well known free source freely publish these themes on the web.

You know far too much about incest lit.

God, I love Nancy Friday. I have several wellthumbed copies of her male and female fantasies.

It's not obligatory to read the incest sections, yunno