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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be so pissed off that my cousin and her 'fiance' are part of whats wrong with society?

159 replies

CrapBag · 21/06/2011 19:31

I'll be honest, I don't think teenage pregnancy is a good thing. I am the result of a teenage pregnancy and I am very bitter about it tbh. I had a really really shit life for the first few years and it has left with with a lot of emotional scars.

My 16 year old cousin met a bloke (he is 20) about 3-4 months ago. Within weeks she was engaged to him and living in his bedsit (with my aunts approval as she decided she couldn't stop her). Now my cousin is pregnant, it was planned. Neither of them work. His solution is to get a grant the are apparently going to be entitled to and his sister is moving out her of 2 bedroom council flat so he is going to try and get that.

Unfortunately I don't live in the same place as them as if I knew him I would tell him to get off his lazy ass, stop getting drunk and playing x box and get a fucking job. But no, they are perfectly happy to bring a baby into the world knowing full well they cannot support it. My cousin is very young for her years and the laziest person I know. She couldn't even handle that doll thing you can get from school that is suppose to be like a baby. She had it for one night and it cried loads and she tried to switch it off which didn't work so she just buried it under a load of blankets. I know it wasn't real but if she couldn't handle that for one night, what hope is she going to have of looking after a real baby that you can't stuff under some blankets when it won't stop crying.

I'm sure that there are people who had babies in their teens where it has turned out ok, but I know my cousin only too well. This isn't going to turn out well. He is only the latest in a long line of boys that she 'loves'.

It pisses me right off.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 21/06/2011 19:34

here we go again .....

CrapolaDeVille · 21/06/2011 19:38

The only people I know that make really great successes of being teen parents seem to be those that get the bit between their teeth and make a go of it. My mother was 17 when she had my sibling and 21 when I was born, her and my father were married, still are, and both had jobs.

I think you're probably right about her fete, but she's not the most demonic part of our country......financially people who earn lots and pay little tax are more responsible for this country's woes. However her success or failure will have a huge impact on her child, this would concern me more than the 'sate of our nation' tbh. The stigma of not working seems to have disappeared for some people, which is great if there's a good reason but if not it allows a large number of people just to achieve nothing their whole lives and have really low expectations of what they could be, which must be a source of unhappiness.

Mandy2003 · 21/06/2011 19:38

When she was on the life-like baby project (sorry I don't know what they call it) were the results recorded officially in any way, the ?PHSE teacher liaising with outside agencies at all?

What does your aunt make of the news?

CrapolaDeVille · 21/06/2011 19:39

Sounds as if your cousin was doomed from the off, seems liek noone expected much of her.

Original poster
CrapBag · 21/06/2011 19:45

Her mother has been saying (in front of her) from the age of 10 "oh I'm going to have problems with this one, she'll be pregnant at 16" then laughed about it. They would be in the car and my aunt would point out some blokes bum to my cousin. My aunt has basically allowed this to happen as she has let her last 3 boyfriends stay over. And I use the term boyfriend losely, shes with them for literally a couple of hours and they are the love of her life etc.

I agree, its the poor baby I feel sorry for, being born into this situation. I actually think her 'fiance' has planned this whole thing to get benefits and a council place. He is apparently a model (he does not have the looks for it, is covered in piercings and tattoos, not model material at all) but has done 1 test shoot and had no work. He has no intention of going out and getting himself a job.

OP posts:
Mandy2003 · 21/06/2011 19:47

Oh dear, about your aunt Sad

Well, maybe the boyfriend is with the Uglies agency (sorry, shouldn't joke).

Original poster
CrapBag · 21/06/2011 19:47

Mandy no idea about results. They must of done as I know my cousin said 3 people let their 'baby' 'die'.

My cousin said my aunt is happy for her, my nan said my aunt just said "what can I do about it" She will change her opinion for whoever she is talking to. I swear she has invited this. She thrives on drama and is a bit of an idiot. She admitted she let my cousin have boys to stay because she wanted to be seen as a cool mum.

OP posts:
ThePathanKhansWoman · 21/06/2011 19:49

Maybe you could try to be supportive to her? instead of being so negative.

Original poster
CrapBag · 21/06/2011 19:52

I'm sorry but I don't support someone who purposely got themselves into a situation.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 21/06/2011 19:53

A bit of support might help her along the way

BluddyMoFo · 21/06/2011 19:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BluddyMoFo · 21/06/2011 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
CrapBag · 21/06/2011 19:56

Never mind then. Shall I give them some money too while I am at it seeing as they have no intention of supporting themselves.

OP posts:
GrownUpNow · 21/06/2011 19:58

A bit of support does help them.

My cousin is doing well for herself and despite being young and not working, she adores her son and does as much for him as she can. I've taught her a bit about managing finances and we go swimming and to children's centres together.

She never hesitates to help me out with childcare, and despite looking from the outside like a "typical teen mum" I am proud of her for making best of a difficult situation. Her son is a lovely little boy.

AmberLeaf · 21/06/2011 19:59

I'm sorry but I don't support someone who purposely got themselves into a situation.

She's 16!!

I think she needs support not condemnation.

ThePathanKhansWoman · 21/06/2011 20:00

crapBag just sorting my allotment out, loads of lovely big rocks and stones.

I could let you have them, and you could just stone them to death, how does that sound?

GypsyMoth · 21/06/2011 20:01

ah i see....

op this is BENEFIT BASHING by stealth!!

usualsuspect · 21/06/2011 20:02

Of course it is,ILoveTIFFANY

Original poster
CrapBag · 21/06/2011 20:04

Its not benefit bashing by stealth at all. I am on benefits actually. My DH works. The fact that they know full well they can't support themselves and don't even have a decent home but still decide to have a baby pisses me off. Its also the fact that he has absolutely no intention of getting a job and as soon as they found out she was pregnant, he was sorting out what to apply for and sorting out how he can get his sisters council flat.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 21/06/2011 20:04

nice Hmm we havent had one for a couple of days

so,what kind of tv are they planning to get op?

by the way,the grant they are going to get is called a community care grant....given to the HOMELESS when they move into permanent accomadation,i had one,is that ok with you??

Original poster
CrapBag · 21/06/2011 20:05

They aren't homeless. This is not benefit bashing and I don't give a toss about their tv.

Its the baby I am more concerned about.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 21/06/2011 20:06

he's trying to secure suitable accomadation for his child?? and you are sneering at him??

Original poster
CrapBag · 21/06/2011 20:07

Ha ha, don't make me laugh. Thats not what its about at all. He told her a couple of months ago that she should have his baby. He knows what he is doing. They have only been together for 4 months.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 21/06/2011 20:07

yeah sure you are ,crapbag,as well as having a good old benefit bash at the same time

ThePathanKhansWoman · 21/06/2011 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.