Ok, going to try and answer some of the stuff from posts, can't remember it all though.
Someone asked if I am a young mum. No I am in my late 20's with 2 young children.
My aunt was also not a young mum, she was well into her 30's when she had her 2 children. She did a good job at first, my 2 cousins were lovely children. Unfortunately, as they got older, she changed and let them do what they wanted. The result is my cousin in the OP and her older brother who I do like but he has some horrible traits about him.
The OP probably didn't come across how I wanted it to. I was angry and annoyed as I do believe my cousin is being manupulated by her 'fiance'. I just think that he wanted her to have his baby within weeks of them getting together and then when she does get pregnant, the first thing he does is say about the benefits and housing he is going for. His bedsit isn't council, someone asked that earlier. He gets my cousin to go to her parents for money (his mum died years ago, no idea about his dad or the rest of his family, I know he is in touch with his sister).
I know that many many people have had babies young and managed, but I also KNOW my cousin only too well. This outcome was always inevitable (not that I ever said that to her). I know what the results will be. I truely believe her 'fiance' is using her to get better housing and benefits and as he is older and she is very very young and naive for her age, she is easy to manipulate but she is also very strong willed. She actually believes that he is a model and his agent has a helicopter. He certainly doesn't do any modelling work. I am worried about the tattoos as it is clear she doesn't like the one on her leg and they are in really obvious places, not easy to hide at all, but she won't listen.
I also get worried as my other cousin had a baby with his 16 year old girlfriend (at the time) and she has now moved out, left him with their DS and when she has him at weekends, she dumps him on babysitters so she can go out on the piss. The DS's uncle has him sometimes and the mother doesn't look after her DS properly as she really isn't that bothered about him.
I have also seen people on here screaming 'leave him' for far less and I am very surprised at the reaction tbh. I was very angry and annoyed last night which is why I get so fed up. No one seemed to believe that it had nothing to do with benefit bashing by stealth. There is a thread on chat at the moment where the OP is asking about getting a tattoo and all anyone is saying is about how awful they are, tacky, ugly etc etc, but here, when I mention that her 'fiance' is practising his tattooing on a naive 16 year old, I get jumped on about it.
It has also been brought up about how can I be close to her/have said nothing good about her. The OP wasn't to come on here and praise her good points. I am close to her. I used to drive to pick her up (she lives a few hours away) a couple times of year and let her stay with me for the week. I often use to go and stay at their house. When she used to come down with her mum, I always let her stay with me even though I didn't have enough room, she would just stay in the front room. We are close but she is also a typical teenager who thinks she is right and won't listen to anybody so at the moment, I can't really give her advice. I am also worried that her 'fiance' won't want her to listen to others as my aunt has said (and my cousins friend had a word with my aunt that her friends are worried about her) that he very controlling. I can't see him wanting 'interference' from others.