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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think some of you are really spiteful?

190 replies

2andanonion · 20/06/2011 22:06

Regarding weight issues.

Fat = eat monster.

It's not always that way. 20 years ago my OH was fit and sporty bloke; out every night football, training, squash, tennis, cricket, golf. Not a boozer or a fondness for takeaways.

We had several close deaths one after the other which caused the onset of type 2 diabetes. (Go google. shock can cause type 2) That escalated into HBP and cholesterol problems. Two heart attacks at 40.

Sport still very much part of his life until he had an injury that incapaciated him for 18 months until he had an operation to repair the injury and left him immobile.

I'm just looking at his last prescriptions. 26 different drugs a day. He's put on 10 stone.

HBP & cholesterol = no fat. Diabetic = no sugar (that includes alcohol)

Can't even manage around of golf now due to the destruction of the nerve endings in his legs and feet.

The discolouration of his legs really means that gangrene will set in sooner rather than later. Amputation will follow.

But some of you will equate fat to being a scoffing git who deserves it. Even though his diet is so boringly plain and his weight is largely drug induced.

Don't worry. We both work. Don't claim any benefits either. Would hate to be a fat burden on you all.

OP posts:
malibustac · 21/06/2011 11:53

My thyroid is as under control as the gp will let me (low end of normal but not low enough to increase doseage) I am currently doing scottish slimmers which says eat what you want just count. I walk at least for an hour 3 to 4 times per wee and was doing 4 zumba classes it is a nightmare and very disheartening.

I once walked into a zumba class and heard someone say. 'Don't go to zumba cos you'll end up a fatty like her' I was the fittest in the class. Have to say its put me off going. I am awaiting a psychologist appointment with the nhs weight management as I have such a low opinion of myself.

I know people say smokers are disgusting but imagine hearing you as a person are disgusting when your trying so hard to change it Sad

Nuttychic · 21/06/2011 11:56

Really? Honestly? You dont understand how people can eat themselves to death? Please tell me you kidding. Have you actually seen a bed ridden obese person before? I am going to assume not. Eating yourself to death is eating so much and for so long that you die. Not really difficult to understand. Or is it because their hearts just gave in for no reason.

Any excuse for people not to have to take responsibility for their own bodies FFS If you cant do that then what else is there.

Nuttychic · 21/06/2011 11:57

Chen if you think this is about smokers its not. Its about some things because unacceptable and its VERY acceptable to say so and some things not when actually they are all unacceptable.

Kewcumber · 21/06/2011 11:59

"I am awaiting a psychologist appointment with the nhs weight management as I have such a low opinion of myself." hurrah. The weight management cetnres are generally very good so use them as much as you can (you generally get a year) to try to change things.

People can be cruel and unkind and one of the biggest issues I had was my own self image and persuading myself that I was worth losing weight for. Its helped a lot when I really beleived that I needed to do it for my health as it became less about how I looked and how much weight I'd lost but how healthy I was.

You are doing all the right things, the reward is that you will be healthier even if you don't lose weight at the rate you want you will still be healthier and that is the prize you are winning.

Try not to eat what you want - try to eat what you need - eat large filling meals with plenty of lean protein

Chen23 · 21/06/2011 12:02

"Chen if you think this is about smokers its not. Its about some things because unacceptable and its VERY acceptable to say so and some things not when actually they are all unacceptable."

Que? HmmHmm

malibustac · 21/06/2011 12:02

Thanks for the advice kewcumber. [Smile]

Kewcumber · 21/06/2011 12:03

if you are addressing that at me Nutty and you don't think I take whatever responsibility is necessary to lose weight (perhaps you missed the 7 stone weight loss bit) then I've wasted a big pile of time and effort making any posts at all if thats all you've taken out of what I've said.

People don't literally eat themselves to death they die from other causes that are probably weight related - I was being facetious sbout the "literally" bit because they don't.

I was spitting hairs for effect but lets not worry about it because you clearly aren't interested in anything of substance that I've siad.

Kewcumber · 21/06/2011 12:07

Advice is cheap mali - living it is hard despite what some on here would have you say. There are also some interesting discussions about the addictive nature of overeating from an addict who worked his way through one "drug" of choice to another -including drugs, alcohol, gamblng and food. If I can find a link I'll post it.

Nuttychic · 21/06/2011 12:08

Kew you asked how people eat themselves to death how do you literally eat yourself to death?. I at no point said you were not taking responsibility I said that people NEED to take responsibility for their own bodies not that YOU specifically did. The very FIRST place people need to take responsibility is with their own bodies.

Kewcumber · 21/06/2011 12:08

Mali - I'm going off this thread now as I don't have anything more useful to add but if you want to pm me about my experiences of the NHS weight management service then feel free.

Nuttychic · 21/06/2011 12:08

I beg to differ on eating themselves to death - they absolutely do.

Kewcumber · 21/06/2011 12:10

sorry nutty - i really don't understand some of your posts. And you obviously do;t understand mine either.

Chen23 · 21/06/2011 12:12

Nuttychic has seemingly decided to tackle the issue of attitudes towards the overweight by bangin on about the "bedridden obese" who "literally eat themselves to death" which I'm pretty sure isn't what the OP was discussing.

Nuttychic · 21/06/2011 12:13

I made it very clear much earlier and in my very first post on here that I am absolutely referring to obese people Chen not overweight people. Very clear.

Chen23 · 21/06/2011 12:13

btw I'm pretty sure the overweight have to deal with a lot (and I mean a lot) more prejudice than smokers do in their daily lives, which makes your point a little moot imo.

Crosshair · 21/06/2011 12:14

This thread has made me hungry.

Nuttychic · 21/06/2011 12:16

Me to Crosshair and now I need a ciggie to!

joric · 21/06/2011 12:27

Nuttychic - where is the chemical component in a gambling addiction , an addiction to porn... Addictions are wide spread... Take a look at the list...

www.addictionz.com/addictions.htm

Thingiebob · 21/06/2011 12:29

People who don't need medication for ongoing health problems often have no idea how drugs can affect weight. I was always slim until I was put on steroids and piled on nearly three stone in the space of three months due to water retention and a massively increased appetite, reduced mobility and blood sugar issues. It's miserable walking around feeling hungry all the time as well as dealing with whatever health problem you have.

People assume I am fat and lazy but the fact is I know if I wasn't on steroids I would still be a slim size 10.

Chen23 · 21/06/2011 12:30

Sorry Nuttychic but I don't find your argument that smokers get bashed and are considered disgusting but that people who are morbidly obese and literally eat themseoves to death get widespread acceptance and no grief from the general public all that compelling tbh.

I've seen people openly mocked (and with real venom) by total strangers in the street about their weight, and heard a million 'fat' jokes.

Haven't seen the smoking equivalent of that anywhere.

Nuttychic · 21/06/2011 12:40

Sorry Chen - try as you might I have explained its NOT ABOUT SMOKING. But carry on - that seems to be what you want so you welcome to keep going.

NuttyChic: "Chen if you think this is about smokers its not. Its about some things because unacceptable and its VERY acceptable to say so and some things not when actually they are all unacceptable."

Chen23: Que?

Nuttychic · 21/06/2011 12:41

I got my point across and there are people who get what Im saying. Just as you will not change our minds, we will not change yours.

Nuttychic · 21/06/2011 12:42

Oh and Chen - the point I was making is not whether or not both smokers and obese people get bashed but rather which is socially more acceptable to bash (out in the open)

Ormirian · 21/06/2011 12:47

"I cannot fathom how people can actually sit there and say its fine for people to literally eat themselves to death whilst sitting on a couch and make excuses for it. Bloody disgusting."

Ooh, is this the first incidence of a straw fatty!

FWIW I gave up smoking 15years ago when I as first pregnant. I am a very laidback non-smoker and never berate anyone for smoking but I think breathing smoke from someone else's fag is a great deal more 'disgusting' than a fat person having the temerity to.....well be fat Hmm

Empusa · 21/06/2011 12:47

I think some people should look into compulsions. Which covers things like trichotillomania, OCD, self harm and binge eating.

Yes, some people do pile on weight due to poor diet and/or greed. But there are a myriad of reasons why people put on weight or struggle to lose it.

And no matter the reason the majority of cases will never be helped by being called "disgusting".