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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think some of you are really spiteful?

190 replies

2andanonion · 20/06/2011 22:06

Regarding weight issues.

Fat = eat monster.

It's not always that way. 20 years ago my OH was fit and sporty bloke; out every night football, training, squash, tennis, cricket, golf. Not a boozer or a fondness for takeaways.

We had several close deaths one after the other which caused the onset of type 2 diabetes. (Go google. shock can cause type 2) That escalated into HBP and cholesterol problems. Two heart attacks at 40.

Sport still very much part of his life until he had an injury that incapaciated him for 18 months until he had an operation to repair the injury and left him immobile.

I'm just looking at his last prescriptions. 26 different drugs a day. He's put on 10 stone.

HBP & cholesterol = no fat. Diabetic = no sugar (that includes alcohol)

Can't even manage around of golf now due to the destruction of the nerve endings in his legs and feet.

The discolouration of his legs really means that gangrene will set in sooner rather than later. Amputation will follow.

But some of you will equate fat to being a scoffing git who deserves it. Even though his diet is so boringly plain and his weight is largely drug induced.

Don't worry. We both work. Don't claim any benefits either. Would hate to be a fat burden on you all.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 20/06/2011 23:18

I have known numerous people put onto peg feeds, some 'balloon', others drop weight, there is no standard when it comes to how we process 'food'.

worraliberty · 20/06/2011 23:22

Exactly Craving but there'll be plenty of people who look at fat people/smokers/heavy drinkers and think those things rather than assume there may be reasons behind it.

LadyBeagleEyes · 20/06/2011 23:23

There's anti smoking threads on here all the time, and bloody hell they get nasty.
Don't give a shit though, I'll smoke and will give up when I'm ready, not because of some opinions on the internet.
Just ignore OP.
Well done non smoking Custardo, hope you keep it up.
~ ~

Gooseberrybushes · 20/06/2011 23:24

Well I don't know about any of the threads you are talking about but I feel so sorry for your husband. How awful. That's just awful. And you should be getting benefits surely? Wouldn't he be disabled and able to get some help?
That number of drugs a day - facing amputation - what hell you must both be going through.

frownieface · 20/06/2011 23:25

Did I really just see someone saying that people are fat because they have a psychological illness, really?!!! No most people are fat because they eat too much, people spouting bullshit like that are the reason why people say they cant loose weight.

It's never anything brutally honest as was Fabby's post. It's always I cant loose weight, it's too hard, I tried to loose weight but it didn't work.

op I feel for you my mum is in a similar situation, and what pisses me off is when people who are overweight, blaming it on a psychological illness/what ever is en vogue as a reason, rather that the truth which is that you eat too much and move too little.

Crosshair · 20/06/2011 23:26

I want to hear more about this 'fat back'.

Birdsgottafly · 20/06/2011 23:28

I demand to see photos Grin

CravingExcitement · 20/06/2011 23:28

Wonder how long FabbyChic will keep the weight off? Statistics say: not long.

Morloth · 20/06/2011 23:30

MN hates fat people, which is odd because I would be willing to bet that a large proportion of the posters are fat themselves, so there is quite a lot of self loathing going into it.

It is also still socially acceptable to be unpleasant to fat people so all the bile and vileness that people have inside them and which they are no longer 'allowed' to send towards those of a different race/religion etc has to go somewhere.

I was fat, really really fat and calories in/calories out wasn't what changed things for me. If it were always that simple no-one would be fat. Being overweight is often a symptom of something else. I had to get my head sorted out before I could stop the constant reward/punishment cycle I was stuck in.

BulletWithAName · 20/06/2011 23:34

What I don't understand (genuine question here, not being sarcastic?) is why they can't section the obese who are killing themselves like they do with anorexics who are killing themselves?

Is it because the number of obese far outnumber the number of anorexics and would cost too much money?

BulletWithAName · 20/06/2011 23:34

that should read can't or don't

worraliberty · 20/06/2011 23:36

The thing is, people have always had problems..but years ago there wasn't so much food available, very few 2 car families and only 3 channels on the TV (that's if you had a TV at all)...even then most houses only had one set.

No-one sat around for hours on computers/consoles/playing with mobile phone apps.

Really it is mostly a case of how much we eat and how little we move, otherwise obesity would have been this problematic to the nation decades ago.

Our bodies just weren't designed to live the lives most of us now lead.

M0naLisa · 20/06/2011 23:37

Just because i have opinions of my own doesnt make me a horrible person.

Gooseberrybushes · 20/06/2011 23:37

"I would be willing to bet that a large proportion of the posters are fat themselves"

good heavens

BulletWithAName · 20/06/2011 23:38

btw OP I'm not talking about situations like what your poor DP is in (sorry to hear that Sad), I'm talking about compulsive eaters

Kewcumber · 20/06/2011 23:38

many people who are slender are pathologically afraid of being fat becasue ts seen as being a low class, disgusting, lacking in will power kinds thing thereofre to demonise it is a perfectly natural thing to do.

Its seriously bad news for your health but I don't get the level of vitriol aimed at the seriously overweight. When you let me poke fun and berate you for your shortcomings I'll consider letting you do th esame with mine.

Oh and a pond of sugar is not the same density as a pound of fat so you cant compare them. A pound of fat would roll out quite thinly with a rolling pin and would hardly be noticeable.

OP so sorry about your DH - do none of the newer diabetic medication help like exantide?

SecretNutellaFix · 20/06/2011 23:41

Fabby, what technique were you using that you were unable to wipe properly?

For your info, I am 5'5" and weigh more than 20 stone. I am a dress size 26 and have never failed to wipe my arse well.

I can also lift a 25kg box from floor to shoulder height in less than 10 seconds and walk with it half a mile in 10 minutes. I shouldn't due to ankle injuries, but I can do it. I work 9 hour days, mostly on my feet, in retail and to get to our stockroom/ staff area is a double flight of stairs which I run nearly every time.

For lunch today I had a Boots Sesame Chicken noodle salad, snack-a-jacks, an apple and a bottle of flavoured water. I had a snack of a strawberry yoghurt when I got home and supper was Baked potato with cheese and baked beans when my DH came home 2 hours later. That is a typical day for me.

Tomorrow I plan on having a Salmon and Cucumber sandwich, fruit salad, a pack of snack-a jacks and a bottle of flavoured water for lunch. Dinner will be spaghetti bolognese. I may snack on a banana or strawberries.

Please tell me why I am so fat, if not for the fact I have severe polycystic ovaries?

Kewcumber · 20/06/2011 23:41

bullet - if you stop eating = 100% certianty of death. Overeatng brings an increased risk of death at some point in your life but it tied up in genetics and otehr fatcors too. How long are you going to section me for?! And at what point, I'm no longer in the morbidly obese categories but had one toffee crisp too many this evening - should I be expectng a knock on the door?

Kewcumber · 20/06/2011 23:43

nutella - give up the snacka jack habit if you havePCOS - rice cake tye snacks are terrible for causing insulin spikes find a soya based snack (sainsburys do a low fat crispy thing based on soya and potatoes) or yohurt with a few nuts in,

Birdsgottafly · 20/06/2011 23:43

Bullet- it is probably because obese people do not have the distorted view of themselves that anorexics do. Obesity shortens life in the long term, not the short and it is difficult to prove that people are killing themselves with diet alone. It takes alot for doctors to agree when a gastric band is applied for on the NHS. It is normal to eat but not so to starve.

Worral- there are a number who are now living through medical conditions that would have died in the time you are talking about.

I suppose as well is what actually goes into food. I do wonder what they are putting in when i read some of the fat and calouries when i have had to buy food when out and about unexpectedly.

Kewcumber · 20/06/2011 23:44

I am also somewhat baffled by Fbby's shitty bottom givne my highest weight was 24 stone and I managed.

Maybe she ahs extraordinarily short arms.

BulletWithAName · 20/06/2011 23:45

Errrmmm...Kewcumber, no need to get defensive, just actually genuinely wondering.

BulletWithAName · 20/06/2011 23:46

Birds- The distorted view makes a lot of sense actually.

manicinsomniac · 20/06/2011 23:47

I don't get the confusion over fat backs. A fat back is a fat back. Rolls of fat around the back of the shoulders and sometimes around the hips. More or less every person who is clinically obese or bigger will have a fat back, they're no great mystery!

While I do think fabby's bum wiping story is implausible logically I can see how it could feel impossible. As a student my weight increased from 5.5 stone to 9 stone in a matter of months (anorexia to binge eating/bulimia). Even at 9 stone I wasn't quite overweight but the difference was so huge and happened so quickly that every time I moved I could feel all this alien flesh shifting and wobbling and every time I twisted round fat rolls (real or imaginary, I don't know!) squashed up on my back making me so uncomfortable I just wanted to cry.

Also, 12 stone and a size 16 IS big for someone short. I hit the overweight category when still wearing a size 10-12 because I am only 5'1". I'm usually a size 8 and that is not especially slim on me, just very normal and average looking.

TrinIsASadSpottyFatRhino · 20/06/2011 23:47

op please give over

I know there are lots of people who are fat through no fault of their own

but the posts you are talking about ARE NOT talking about your dh

sheesh, I used to look good, I got the wolf whistles, I git looked at and hell i liked it when I was young and until a year ot so ago I stil looked good
BUT then I ate to comfort myself when dh died and I drank too much
I gave up
I got fat
I look hideous, size 16 feels comfy Sad

It was totally my fault, I ate more than I was using iyswim

give over, noone is talking \bout your dh, they are talking \bout me and extreme cases and everything in between but not those like your dh and yes we are well aware of those cases

oh and last week it seems I have developed psoriasis so now I'm fat AND spotty

ain't life great