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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think some of you are really spiteful?

190 replies

2andanonion · 20/06/2011 22:06

Regarding weight issues.

Fat = eat monster.

It's not always that way. 20 years ago my OH was fit and sporty bloke; out every night football, training, squash, tennis, cricket, golf. Not a boozer or a fondness for takeaways.

We had several close deaths one after the other which caused the onset of type 2 diabetes. (Go google. shock can cause type 2) That escalated into HBP and cholesterol problems. Two heart attacks at 40.

Sport still very much part of his life until he had an injury that incapaciated him for 18 months until he had an operation to repair the injury and left him immobile.

I'm just looking at his last prescriptions. 26 different drugs a day. He's put on 10 stone.

HBP & cholesterol = no fat. Diabetic = no sugar (that includes alcohol)

Can't even manage around of golf now due to the destruction of the nerve endings in his legs and feet.

The discolouration of his legs really means that gangrene will set in sooner rather than later. Amputation will follow.

But some of you will equate fat to being a scoffing git who deserves it. Even though his diet is so boringly plain and his weight is largely drug induced.

Don't worry. We both work. Don't claim any benefits either. Would hate to be a fat burden on you all.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 20/06/2011 23:49

Being fat doesn't always cause health problems just as being thin makes you healthy, but that isn't what the thread is about. Some people only need to eat badly to become overweight.

Many on MN do have a sterotypical veiw of those who are overweight, but wouldn't dare to hold stereotypical veiws on any other group of people and definately wouldn't voice them..

Kewcumber · 20/06/2011 23:50

I'm not being defensive Confused I answered your question!

CrispyHedgehog · 20/06/2011 23:52

Haven't read the whole thread but fgs Fabbychic I don't know about having trouble wiping your arse but you certainly seem to talk out of it!

It's not just on this thread that you've said but on many others and I'd like to know how the fuck you were incapable of self care at a size 16?

I'm size 16, 11 stone, 5'0 and I can keep myself clean.. I was also able to keep myself clean at 29 stone and a size 32-34 so why the fuck couldn't you?

I'm just really fed up with you rocking up on every fat bashing thread with your tales of size 16 woe.

Kewcumber · 20/06/2011 23:53

manic - i'm sure you felt terribly overweight if you had previously been anorexic but trust me when I say that you had no practical bar to wiping your bottom at a size twelve ( unless you were 4'2" or had a majorly bad back) - I was a size 30 at my heaviest, I know of what I speak!

BulletWithAName · 20/06/2011 23:53

How long are you going to section me for?! And at what point, I'm no longer in the morbidly obese categories but had one toffee crisp too many this evening - should I be expectng a knock on the door?

Well it sounded kind of defensive to me...don't worry, I'm not about to come and bundle you into a van! Or any one else for that matter Wink

BulletWithAName · 20/06/2011 23:54

I must say, I rather enjoy Fabby's arse-wiping tales Grin

manicinsomniac · 20/06/2011 23:56

kewcumber - no, no, I know there was no physical bar, I was saying I can see how a psychological reaction to feeling teh fat there when you turned round could lead to fanny thinking that she couldn't do it. Physically she could, emotionally she couldn't.

But I can't speak for her obv, I was just saying it's one explanation for such a seemingly bizarre statement.

Kewcumber · 20/06/2011 23:56

none so righteous Crispy as the converted! And man, Fabby sure is born again. I hope you and I are more moderate and more understanding of our former selves!

worraliberty · 20/06/2011 23:56

Worral- there are a number who are now living through medical conditions that would have died in the time you are talking about

yes but that has nothing to do with my post about our bodies not being designed for the sort of lives most people lead Confused

I'm pointing out that there was no obesity epidemic years ago, but people still had problems.

TrinIsASadSpottyFatRhino · 20/06/2011 23:56

well I'm a size 16 now and hate myself completely

p'raps I should shout for a carer to wipe my arse, bet that would make me feel better Hmm

seriously, I dont care how short you are, you could still wipe your arse at that weight

Kewcumber · 20/06/2011 23:57

mistakenly bullet, I thought it was a mild attempt at wit

Birdsgottafly · 20/06/2011 23:57

TrIn- surely life ain't great because your dh died not cos your fat?
I didn't give a shit what i looked like after the death of my dh, it really does bring home to you what is important. I did want i had to to carry on every day, it didn't occur to me to worry about wether a stranger thought i was fit enough to whistle at Confused

The problem is to many posters do not know why the person that they are looking at and judging is fat, they are very dismissive of medical problems.

Kewcumber · 20/06/2011 23:58

"could lead to fanny thinking that she couldn't do it" can I nominate that for typo of the week?

BulletWithAName · 20/06/2011 23:59

Was just about to point that one out myself!

manicinsomniac · 21/06/2011 00:01

hahahaha, how the hell did I managed to hit 'n' twice?! Freudian slip?? (is that correct use of the term!)

Is typo of the week an actual thing?

Birdsgottafly · 21/06/2011 00:01

Worral-my point is that yes there may be lifestyles to blame, but those living through heartattacks, cancer and with downs syndrome (as explained in my earlier post to name some) are adding to the numbers, some doctors dispute the epidemic, as most would understand it on here, just through eating habits alone. Moat of the obese people that i se in my work have started with a medical condition before obesity.

TrinIsASadSpottyFatRhino · 21/06/2011 00:01

birdsgottafly, dont start with that passive aggressive shit thanks

Its nearly two years now and in the last three months I've finally realised that I am alive and I am carrying on....and just as before I now feel like there is a way I like to look and this ain't it
I dont see a problem with that, infact I think it's healthy that I am starting to live/feel as I used to

make of that what you will...

Bennifer · 21/06/2011 00:01

Hang on Kewcumber

"Oh and a pound of sugar is not the same density as a pound of fat so you cant compare them. A pound of fat would roll out quite thinly with a rolling pin and would hardly be noticeable."

But it's the same weight, which was the point that was made!

Empusa · 21/06/2011 00:02

"Did I really just see someone saying that people are fat because they have a psychological illness, really?!"

Binge Eating Disorder/ Compulsive Overeating

Here's a few pieces of info for you

"Psychological factors are probably one of the major causes of binge eating 50% of binge eaters suffer from depression, which is triggered by low levels of serotonin in the brain. Serotonin is responsible for regulating appetite and hunger signs in the body."

Many bulimics end up as binge eaters. Bulimia being a cycle of binge and purge.

"The 5-HT2C receptor is a subtype of 5-HT receptor that binds the endogenous neurotransmitter serotonin (5-hydroxytryptamine, 5-HT). Drugs which block 5-HT2C (eg. that block the binding of serotonin) receptors make the body unable to shut off appetite, and are associated with increased weight gain, especially in people who have a low number of receptors."

Birdsgottafly · 21/06/2011 00:05

Numerous studies have shown that it is not just down to individuals. The cheaper the food the more it is padded with stuff that will make us fat. So the judgement put onto people who are overweight is unjustified. It takes a big committment to lose weight and not everyone can pledge to it, for various reasons.

worraliberty · 21/06/2011 00:10

Worral-my point is that yes there may be lifestyles to blame, but those living through heartattacks, cancer and with downs syndrome (as explained in my earlier post to name some) are adding to the numbers, some doctors dispute the epidemic, as most would understand it on here, just through eating habits alone. Moat of the obese people that i se in my work have started with a medical condition before obesity

No-one said it's eating habits alone, but the people with heart attacks/cancer/downs syndrome etc... are but a tiny part of it considering 1 in 4 children are overweight when they start school!

We need to face facts, there will always be a minority of medical conditions making people fat...but for the majority it's poor eating, over eating and lazy modern lifestyles.

Birdsgottafly · 21/06/2011 00:11

Trin- i don't see what's passive aggressive, but my point was that there is a judgement put onto someone who 'allows' themselves to put on weight. But it isn't that simple, there are many in your situation who find that they have the need to eat, i often think that it is less damaging than some of the behaviours that the person could have chosen, but the reaction to it on MN is totally uncalled for. The same with stress, some people get heavier with stress without overeating.

Why do some think that they can walk past a stranger and sum them up by their body size?

Birdsgottafly · 21/06/2011 00:12

Worral- read the posts, people are saying it is eating habits alone and being quite nasty about it, as they do on every 'fat' thread.

TrinIsASadSpottyFatRhino · 21/06/2011 00:12

I assumed you were attacking me for caring what i look like now as my dh had died

obviously that would be being nasty

I'm allowed to give a shit that I no longer look like I like to look

dead dh or not

CrispyHedgehog · 21/06/2011 00:16

Kew I would hope that I have more compassion than that, especially given that my judgey pants now just fall around my ankles, no matter how much I hoik them up :o