AIBU to think some of you are really spiteful?

[2andanonion]

Regarding weight issues.

Fat = eat monster.

It's not always that way. 20 years ago my OH was fit and sporty bloke; out every night football, training, squash, tennis, cricket, golf. Not a boozer or a fondness for takeaways.

We had several close deaths one after the other which caused the onset of type 2 diabetes. (Go google. shock can cause type 2) That escalated into HBP and cholesterol problems. Two heart attacks at 40.

Sport still very much part of his life until he had an injury that incapaciated him for 18 months until he had an operation to repair the injury and left him immobile.

I'm just looking at his last prescriptions. 26 different drugs a day. He's put on 10 stone.

HBP & cholesterol = no fat. Diabetic = no sugar (that includes alcohol)

Can't even manage around of golf now due to the destruction of the nerve endings in his legs and feet.

The discolouration of his legs really means that gangrene will set in sooner rather than later. Amputation will follow.

But some of you will equate fat to being a scoffing git who deserves it. Even though his diet is so boringly plain and his weight is largely drug induced.

Don't worry. We both work. Don't claim any benefits either. Would hate to be a fat burden on you all.

Malibu that is exactly it though. People (like you) who really do have a health problem that has caused it are taking the brunt end because of people who eat in excess. There are people like you but because the majority of obese people are overeaters - you all get lumped in the same catagory.

Bennifer you say its a slow process so then at what point do they wake up? Surely its BEFORE they cant walk. Slow but steady is the problem. We all know that eating large quantities of fatty/unhealthy/fast foods is bad for you. Why do it to excess in the first place. Surely when you cannot walk to your front door without pain and/or out of breath its time to say whooooo (personally it should be waaaay before that).

Are fat people (not health related fat) greedy? Well Im not sure what you would call it but I certainly do think its greedy. What else is greed? Ask someone in a third world famine country if its greed (eating enough to feed a village). Are they lazy? Well I have never seen a runner/cyclist/regular walker/gymer or anything else that is obese (again unless its a health problem).

Congrats Cote! Thats bloody good going!

why do overweight people "stuff their faces" when everyone else just eats.

I've never argued with the simple reason for being overweight - eating more than your body requires. But if you are prone to putting on weight and you have a tricky relationship with food and you comfort eat its not as simple as stopping eating. If it was that simple I would have done it a long time ago. I too have PCOS but even there the eat less than you need and you will lose weight. Its just that the less needs to be even less than normal or you need to do a great deal more exercise due to the hormonal imbalances in play.

And yes I was exactly the person who put on about 10lbs a year for about 10 years then piled on 3 stone in 6 months on steroids but most of my 12st weight gain weight gain was at the heady heights of 1lb a month.

I really don't care if someone disbeleives that. Yes of coure I went on diets and lost weight in that period then put it all back on, exercise became well nigh impossible. I don't expect anyone to sympathise after all its really none of their concern. But I equally don;t expect to be described as "stuffing my face" when I don't and haven't - or at least not any more than anyone else on this thread has occasionally because, well, it's really none of their concern.

Anyone who can't see the emotional values placed on being obese in the language used on this thread and in RL is deluding themselves as much as I was about my weight initially.

I don't see why calling fat people disgusting and describing them as "stuffing their faces" and shouting "fat cow" in the street and talking about them being incapable of wiping their arses really helps.

I hate smoking its a disgusting expensive habit that makes you smell and gives you significant health problmes. I hate people who get drunk, I hate that they can't control themselves enough to limit it to a drink or two and I can't see why any sane adult would feel the need to drink enough that they can't control what they are saying or doing, I don;t think they should be in the sole care of childrne if they are over the legal limit to drink which I think should be nil as there is plenty of evidence to show any amount of drink reduces your judgement and reaction times.

But I don't say that to anyone who does these things. Because its not my business and whatever their poison of choice as long as its not directly impacting me - its not my concern. And using snide language to deride them in a pseudo act of concern is disingenuous.

Nuttychic, trying to mitigate your smoking as a drug addiction which therefore makes you less weak willed than an overweight person not able to lose all their weight is pretty specious tbh.

You don't have to smoke to survive but you do have to eat; I gave up smoking a few years back, it wasn't easy but it would have been a lot harder if I had to smoke at least 3 times a day and be constantly surrounded by people smoking and a constant stream of smoking advertising whilst having a kitchen stuffed with cupboards full of cigarettes. For me giving up smoking was tough but not putting weight on afterwards was actually quite a bit harder.

Be judgemental about people "overeating" all you want, it is a free world after all, but be aware you make yourself look a but hypocritical by defending your smoking, especially if your only real defence is to bang on about drug addiction.

and the reason you don't see fat cyclists/runners/gymers is the excruciating embarassment caused by the looks of people like some of those on this thread.

Nuttychic,

I'm not really talking of the clinically obese, but talking of the overweight. In my opinion, it's such a slow process. In my case, my BMI got v. close to 25, but I thought overweight was just something that happened to other people, it's ok to carry a little extra, but my weight was creeping up. I only had a stone to lose, took up some running, cut out the crisps, and it was fairly easy for me, but I know with family members, they often don't think as themselves as fat, just carrying a few extra pounds

by the way, where I go running, I see lots of overweight runners, and plenty of overweight cyclists. I always think "good for them"

Chen23 I am no longer a smoker and have not been for 5 years. I know for sure that a smoke is a drug or rather the chemical in them are - not really debatable that one. I had toast this morning and do not have an overwelming NEED to have more so no, food is an addiction. No drugs in it that would cause it.

Yes drug addiction very obviously takes a lot more to stop than say.....having a glass of fruit juice. One is a drug, one is not.

Bennifer I see what you saying about overweight but I am referring to literally, obese. Overweight I think most people will swing from thin to a bit overweight (especially after children). Most will see the extra weight and adjust their eating accordingly. Most will never be thin, thin again but certainly not just keep doing the same thing (eating) expecting not to get obese.

I have no issue at all with being a bit curvy - not one bit. I am talking about throwing complete caution to the wind and eating anything that grabs you and then when you obese, expecting people to have sympathy.

I found it a great deal easier to give up smoking than lose weight. Haven't smoked in 20 years and don't want to. On the other hand having lost 7 stone I still have a compulsion to eat and resisting it takes every coping strategy I have (and a few that the lovely HNS psychologist sugegsted) and sometimes I fail.

Heaven forbid that I should expect sympathy - I don't. Would kinda like people to stop with the "disgusting/stuffing" language and throwing insults in RL though.

kewcumber I agree you can loose weight with pcos. I have both an underactive thyroid and pcos. It is not an excuse for being fat but it is the reason. I am trying extremely hard to loose weight. I also know people with pcos who no matter what they do can't loose a pound. I would be interested in what diet you used?

ho hum

tbh Nuttchic if you're not aware of the mental component of addiction then I'm not sure there's any point in this discussion.

The physical addiction to nicotine is over in days, but the mental addiction goes on for weeks or even years in some cases.

How long were you a smoker for btw?

TBH I think you're incredibly lucky if you have never had eating, either too much, too little or desperately controlled.

And yet Kew - food has no drug in it, not in any way, shape or form. I beg to differ on the ease at stopping smoking. I (and most others) take many tries and a long time before they actually stop. Even once stopped, the initial DRUG withdrawal is hard.

I lost 1st 8lb after the birth of my 4th dc. It took me just on a year. Was it hard? Not at all. Went to gym and ate healthy and actually said NO to rubbish food. No diet required.

So me saying its easy to loose weight is a bit like you saying its easy to stop smoking (which incidently, if I had not mentioned it before - is a drug)

Yes people are spiteful about the overweight. And FWIW i don't give a stuff how someone got that way they don't deserve the special sort of nastiness reserved for the fat.

And TBH Chen, If you dont understand the chemical component of addiction - there is no point in this discussion.

I cannot fathom how people can actually sit there and say its fine for people to literally eat themselves to death whilst sitting on a couch and make excuses for it. Bloody disgusting.

Don't diet. Thats the best way to put on weight.

Change your life - get more active - start with 15 mins walk a day more than you are doing now and increase it by 5 minute every week until you are doing 45 mins three times a week and 30 mins three times a week ( or swim or pool walk or exercise of choice).

Try to keep lean protein intake up and refined carb intake down but don;t avoid anything totally. Don't keep refined carb treats in teh house (eg multipacks of crisps or choclate) buy them out of the house singly.

Talk to your GP if your BMI is over 30, if they are sympathetic there are great resources available to help.

Obviously your low thyroid needs sortng out you are unlikely to lose until you are medicated to the right level.

Be realistic about weight loss - 1kilo a month is fine (yes 1kilo!) so half a pound a week. Don;t set yourself up to fail - you are in for the long haul it is more inportant to change the way you life than acheive all the silly inrealistic crap I've read - oh you can lose 1 stone in a couple of weeks blah blah blah. Because when you can't you "fail" and your self esteem talkes another knock and trying agina seems even more ipossible.

Don;t rule about drugs or surgical intervention if your weight is life threatheningly high.

fabbychic you made me LOL

I didn;t say its easy to stop smoking - I said "I found it a great deal easier to give up smoking than lose weight"

Haven't likened being addicted to a drug to being addicted to food. Plenty of people are saying it easy to lose weight.

And very few people as far as I can see are saying that "its fine" to eat yourself into morbid obesity. Some of us are objecting to the vilification of it as being unkind and unhelpful.

Beleive me when I was refered to professional in wieght management on the NHS they don't pussyfoot around and blame every thing on drugs or illenss or addiction so I'm no shrinking violet when it comes to straight talking.

Resorting to calling what you don;t like "disgusting" isn;t helpful and is a spiteful way of talking which I think was the OP's point

But actually what Ormirian said much more succinctly.

I would caution people against calling smokers disgusting - which is a lot more common which is the norm.

Personally, I think it is disgusting as is eating yourself literally to death.

"I cannot fathom how people can actually sit there and say its fine for people to literally eat themselves to death whilst sitting on a couch and make excuses for it. Bloody disgusting."

I wouldn't be able to fathom it either, if anyone had actually said that.

But they didn't so the above looks like some really poor disingenuous strawman nonsense.

I don;t think you should call anyone disgusting. What you think to yourself is besides the point, think what you like. I would not want DS to grow up thinking its OK to publically comment on people you don't know without being prepared to share with them your worst habit and let them judge that in return.

how do you literally eat yourself to death? Is it like Mr Creosote where you explode after one more waffer thin afetr dinner mint? (shows age)

"I would caution people against calling smokers disgusting - which is a lot more common which is the norm."

Not sure what that sentence is supposed to mean tbh but if you really think that smokers get as much grief and spite directed at them as the overweight then we disagree. I find smoking disgusting but not smokers, that would be pretty feeble minded.

btw I'm no longer a smoker and am not overweight so have no dog in this fight, but I do find people getting all sanctimonious about the overweight (especially smokers or ex smokers) a little tiring.