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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeling sick with guilt

244 replies

zeberwee · 20/06/2011 13:41

Last week I went on a family holiday with 2 cousins, 3 aunts, one uncle and my grandmother. It was a coach trip and before we even went everyone had stuck the knife into one aunt inparticular and were going on about how they hoped she didn't gab our heads off on the bus, embarrass us and general natter and be annoying. The morning we were waiting for the bus this aunt was stood there with her bag, big smile on face looking really happy and excited. My uncle went up behind her and shouted "DUH!" in her ear. She flinched and the rest of us fell about laughing. She said "what did you do that for?" so everyone started having a go at her telling her to lighten up and not spoil the holiday by whinging. She went quiet and just stood there on her own waiting for the bus. When it arrived we all started pretend arguining about who would sit next to her. She got really mad and told us all to fuck off on our own and she was happy sitting alone, infact she prefered it. My other aunts then started teasing her telling her not to cry etc and laughing. So she's sat there reading her book and everytime the bus went passed farms etc they all shouted at her to stop farting and the other passengers was laughing at her too. At one point I looked at her and she was crying silently. I stopped taking part at this point and felt awful. The others however carried it on all through the holiday chucking things at her on the bus, my uncle emptied her bag all over the coridoor and said it was an accident but then kicked her pants over the banister in front of a load of other guests and my grandma kept blaming my aunt saying she was spoiling it for everyone by being grumpy. On the wednesday we were due to go on a day trip and everyone told my aunt that we had to catch the bus at 9am. Later that night I got a text saying it had been changed to 8am. I assumed my aunt knew but they didn't tell her and we left without her so she was stuck in the hotel on her own all day.
thursday morning she put a note through my grandmas door saying she had arranged transport home and she was really upset at the way she'd been treated. So she left 2 days early. We got back saturday morning and the others have done nothing but laugh about my poor aunt and say how she made the whole thing miles better than it would have been normally.

I feel sick with guilt but wasn't involved in most of it, I want to apologise but I want everyone else to apologise too. AIBU in holding off until everyone else says sorry too?

OP posts:
GrownUpNow · 20/06/2011 18:23

Fuck. I've only read the OP and I can't read any more because I am so upset for that poor woman I'm actually crying here. What a horrid bunch of fucking bullies.

Last time my whole family went on holiday together it was as a pick me up because my Auntie had just died of terminal breast cancer. My Granny had lost her daughter, my Mum her sister, my Cousins their mother and me the loveliest Auntie in the world.

I can honestly say I am disgusted to read how your family treated your Auntie, we'd have cherished ours and would never systematically bully and ruin her holiday.

WestYorkshirePudding · 20/06/2011 18:29

You bitch.

And in fact, you're worse than the rest of your hideous family as you noticed how uncomfortable she felt from the beginning and still carried on until she started to cry.

I hope you're sat at home crying because you know how awful you are.

AnonymousBird · 20/06/2011 18:32

This cannot be true, people don't actually treat each other that badly, surely. I've never heard of anything like it, not even close. If you made it up you are fucked up in the head.

If however, it is true, you are all (including you) fucking vile people.

Either way, you are scum.

FakePlasticTrees · 20/06/2011 18:32

I really hope this is a troll.

If not, I would like to find this aunt and give her a hug.

scottishmummy · 20/06/2011 18:32

good grief what vile group mentality.like a braying pack
making an adult woman cry?dear god
imagine how bad she felt going home alone after a thoroughly horrid trip

you and your cohort are nasty

reflect upon your actions,and why you are weak and easily lead to bully.or is it convenient to blame others in style of it wisnae me it was them..bigger girls!

seriously long hard think about your personality and your disposition that makes you get involved in this stuff.im not saying you had to be confrontational to group,but you could have quietly supported her,sat next to her, distracted her

fabmum1966 · 20/06/2011 18:37

You need to tell her that your sorry and make sure that you dont sit back and watch the rest of them bully her agian. You could offer her some support. She must be feeling really down about this.

AbiAbi · 20/06/2011 18:42

The only way this is true is if OP is the auntie and is looking to get closure on some incident.

Or summat Hmm

scottishmummy · 20/06/2011 18:47

no thats too machiavellian by half
the niece is the aunt,the cousin is your brother all much too kyle

Pixieonthemoor · 20/06/2011 18:50

This is so completely disgusting it cannot be for real. If it IS real then I hope your aunt tells you all to go to hell, you included. Vile doesnt really begin to cover it and yes, you should feel sick with guilt and I hope it lasts for a long time.

BimboNo5 · 20/06/2011 18:53

Who are your family? The Dingles? You all sound vile common and simple as muck- i'd be feeling just as sick as being related to such knuckle grazing thickets as the dispicable way you treated another human being.

kaid100 · 20/06/2011 19:01

You behaved appallingly, and you should definitely apologise whether or not the others do. You should also tell the others exactly what you think of their behaviour, holding firm even if they try to laugh it off. Show them this thread if they don't accept they did wrong, every one of these responses say the same thing. If that doesn't work, post your uncle's phone number on here (I suspect he is the instigator from what you said) and I'm sure we could all tell him what we think of him.

noir · 20/06/2011 19:06

Everything I wanted to say has already been said.. except I want to crawl into my computer screen, into the OPs world, hunt down the aunt and give her the biggest bloody cuddle.

You should all be very, very ashamed.

TidyDancer · 20/06/2011 19:06

The OP is a bully.

Fucking nasty bunch of people.

The poor aunt. :(

Get down on your knees and beg her to forgive you for your appaulingly awful bullying of her. You are all completely vile. I hope she tells you to go fuck yourself and you feel guilty for a really long time.

You nasty piece of work.

noir · 20/06/2011 19:08

Oh and actually i wanted to say, this isn't just bullying.. its abusive.

TidyDancer · 20/06/2011 19:11

Yes, noir, quite.

verytellytubby · 20/06/2011 19:11

Bunch of cunts. I can't believe it.

Your poor aunt.

DizzyKipper · 20/06/2011 19:13

Yes YABU in holding off in apologising because you want everybody else to apologise too. Take responsibility for your actions, you are a separate, independent, free thinking person who's actions do not depend on your relatives. And what you did to her was awful. What the rest of your family did to her was horrible as well, but don't think that for a moment that because you stopped earlier and didn't carry it on it somehow makes it not as bad. It was awful. And not sticking up for her was cowardly.

BlueFergie · 20/06/2011 19:16

You are a bully and a coward. You saw your aunt was upset and you said and did nothing. Why didn't you go to her and tell the others to shut the fuck up?
You are even trying to wriggle out of apologising. Pathetic the lot of you.

AmyStake · 20/06/2011 19:22

I'm 99.9% sure this is a wind up.

But in the 0.01% case it's not, you and your family are absolute animals. Hope you're proud of yourself for ruining her holiday.

Awomancalledhorse · 20/06/2011 19:23

WTF?!
If this is real, then tell your Aunt she's welcome into my family whenever she wants. as you're a bunch of cunts. God help any children born into your 'family'.

Grow the fuck up and show her some respect.

PinkSchmoo · 20/06/2011 19:24

Anyone elses bullshit detector on high alert here?

Zeberwees first post....

The answer is you are being unreasonable dear.

exoticfruits · 20/06/2011 19:24

It's a weird wind up though(although I agree it must be)-is it supposed to be funny? I find it horrid as a wind up.

georgie22 · 20/06/2011 19:26

I'm finding it hard to believe that this is real, and if it is then I'm amazed at the cruelty and immaturity of the entire family. It sounds like the cruel bullying that goes on in school. After a career as a nurse she deserves more respect than you despicable lot have given her. You say she is going away with her daughter next time - can't say I blame her. I'd avoid you lot like the plague. You're as bad as the others as you didn't intervene.

pigletmania · 20/06/2011 19:33

I am Shock and Sad that this poor poor ladies mother joined in the bullying, I would hate to see my dd hurt and upset, what sort of a mother is she! If I were the Aunt I would cut ties with the lot of them, I think that this has been going on for years and that she just accepts it Sad.

scottishmummy · 20/06/2011 19:44

hi ho.troll patrol sniffin around.they have unearthed
1st post aha...
they are twitching and saying t-r-o-l-l. aha.......
they smell pants on fire aha....

well get dem glistening torches, fetch the posse theres a huntin to be done. because the only way to deal with a bully is to form a group and start ganging up. see who needs book learning when you have the troll patrol