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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeling sick with guilt

244 replies

zeberwee · 20/06/2011 13:41

Last week I went on a family holiday with 2 cousins, 3 aunts, one uncle and my grandmother. It was a coach trip and before we even went everyone had stuck the knife into one aunt inparticular and were going on about how they hoped she didn't gab our heads off on the bus, embarrass us and general natter and be annoying. The morning we were waiting for the bus this aunt was stood there with her bag, big smile on face looking really happy and excited. My uncle went up behind her and shouted "DUH!" in her ear. She flinched and the rest of us fell about laughing. She said "what did you do that for?" so everyone started having a go at her telling her to lighten up and not spoil the holiday by whinging. She went quiet and just stood there on her own waiting for the bus. When it arrived we all started pretend arguining about who would sit next to her. She got really mad and told us all to fuck off on our own and she was happy sitting alone, infact she prefered it. My other aunts then started teasing her telling her not to cry etc and laughing. So she's sat there reading her book and everytime the bus went passed farms etc they all shouted at her to stop farting and the other passengers was laughing at her too. At one point I looked at her and she was crying silently. I stopped taking part at this point and felt awful. The others however carried it on all through the holiday chucking things at her on the bus, my uncle emptied her bag all over the coridoor and said it was an accident but then kicked her pants over the banister in front of a load of other guests and my grandma kept blaming my aunt saying she was spoiling it for everyone by being grumpy. On the wednesday we were due to go on a day trip and everyone told my aunt that we had to catch the bus at 9am. Later that night I got a text saying it had been changed to 8am. I assumed my aunt knew but they didn't tell her and we left without her so she was stuck in the hotel on her own all day.
thursday morning she put a note through my grandmas door saying she had arranged transport home and she was really upset at the way she'd been treated. So she left 2 days early. We got back saturday morning and the others have done nothing but laugh about my poor aunt and say how she made the whole thing miles better than it would have been normally.

I feel sick with guilt but wasn't involved in most of it, I want to apologise but I want everyone else to apologise too. AIBU in holding off until everyone else says sorry too?

OP posts:
Malgosia · 20/06/2011 16:40

that was only because DH and I accuse each other of farting when we go past farms

Christ. How the long winter evenings must fly by in your house with such a witty pair.

pigletmania · 20/06/2011 16:51

That is downright disgusting bullying behaviour, your family sound like a bunch of nasty bullies. Why did you not gave the gumption to stand up fir her and tell the others to fing grow up. I see preschool chikdren behaving better. My ASD 4 year old would never behave in such a vile way. I would go there with a nice big bunch of interflora flowers and apologise

otisdriftwood · 20/06/2011 16:53

Has to be bollocks....I can't believe a whole bus full of people were laughing with you lot.

If it is true then I hope she tells the lot of you to feck off.

Shoesytwoesy · 20/06/2011 16:57

did the op come back or is she being sick under her bridge?

mumnotmachine · 20/06/2011 16:57

Reading through I assumed that you and your family were a group of young people on a sort of 18-30 drunken weekend.

But your aunt is retired?

I cant believe you could act like that at any age if I'm honest, yet alone the ages you are!!

Some drunken banter is one thing.
Out and out bullying is another.

pigletmania · 20/06/2011 16:59

Be a grown up not a fecking child

saffy85 · 20/06/2011 17:08

True or not, this has really upset me. Hope it isn't real but if it is imo the best thing you and the rest of your revolting family can do is leave your aunt alone as she clearly deserves better than to be surrounded by nasty bullies like yourselves. Leave her alone after you've issued a groveling apology that is. Whether anyone else says sorry or not.

Ihavewelliesbuttheyrenotgreen · 20/06/2011 17:15

OP have you based this on the tv show Coach trip?

pigletmania · 20/06/2011 17:27

I really hope it's not true. It's so horrid, yes I want to give your auntie a big hug. I wish I was there to stick up for her and her moronic family

DDraigoch33 · 20/06/2011 17:29

Sounds like the Jeremy Kyle show,you should all be ashamed of yourselves.Bullies,nothing more,nothing less.If i were your Aunt i'd tell you to shove your apology where the sun don't shine.

TheOriginalFAB · 20/06/2011 17:32

You should feel sick with guilt. You "fell about laughing" at her and when the others carried on bullying her you did nothing to get them to stop. Are you all this immature all the time?

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 20/06/2011 17:35

If it's true, I'd like to meet your aunt. She's probably lovely. The rest of you....well, you're arseholes.

TheOriginalFAB · 20/06/2011 17:36

"She's a nurse and has just retired and it was her first holiday post retirement. I think she's going to Italy next year though with her daughter."

What has that got to do with anything? Hmm.

People have killed themselves over bullying.

I also thought you were going to say your Aunt had died and you need to all grow the fuck up before she does.

Loonytoonie · 20/06/2011 17:38

I'm appalled to read this OP - you should be very, very ashamed of yourself. I'd want nothing more to do with your 'family' if I were you and I'd bend over backwards to show some love and respect to this poor woman.

Now if I were your Aunt's daughter........ Good Grief - I'd be hard pressed to not pay each of you a visit. Bullies. All of them. And that includes you OP. By doing nothing, and by not sticking up for your poor Aunt, you were equally as bad.

Shame on you all.

razzlebathbone · 20/06/2011 17:45

Hang on, your grandma was on this trip and is your aunt's mother? Your grandma is a piece of shit. I'd want to kill with my bare hands anyone who treated my daughter like that, never mind join in. She must be what? 80 odd? Urgh.

This is either a load of rubbish or your whole family are cunts and losers. And that includes you.

bittersweetvictory · 20/06/2011 17:50

Thank fuck im not a member of your family, you are all disgusting horrible bullies, i feel sorry for any offsprings any of you have, sick with guilt Hmm
if that were the case you wouldnt have done it and you would have stuck up for her, karma will get the lot of you and i hope your aunt wins the lottery and doesnt give you a penny.

Getdressed · 20/06/2011 17:57

This is such as sad story and has made me feel sick. What an utterly horrid family you all are. Your poor aunt. I hope she cuts all ties with you lot.

You need to apologise now. How can you sit and watch a grown woman, your aunt, being reduced to tears and not stop the bullying? You are just as bad as the rest of your family.

And do people still seriously go on coach trips?

RatherBe · 20/06/2011 18:10

So according to your original post, the rest of the family hoped that your poor aunt wouldn't embarass them? Really? I find it hard to believe on the basis that they clearly have no idea of acceptable behaviour and no capacity to feel shame.

toosoft · 20/06/2011 18:15

What a nasty family u are. She deserves far better than u.

shandyleer · 20/06/2011 18:21

Don't think even the most profuse apologies/biggest bunch of flowers/anything else would go anywhere near making amends for such repulsive behaviour.

Do your aunt a big favour and stay as far away from her as possible for ever.

As a matter of interest - how old are you and your dh?

Lunabelly · 20/06/2011 18:21

My god I truly hope that this is trip-trap crap, because nobody should be treated this way, least of all by the people who are supposed to love and protect her. I hope you are deeply, deeply ashamed. Your poor aunt.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 20/06/2011 18:22

I think

LoveMyOscar · 20/06/2011 18:22

What a nasty bunch of arseholes you are. Your poor aunt. You sound like a bunch of chavs.

LoveMyOscar · 20/06/2011 18:23

and where as the OP gone?

mumnotmachine · 20/06/2011 18:23

I wondered that Shandy
For aunt to be retired I would put her at late 50s early 60s
To ne a neice I would think OP is somewhere in her 30s