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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeling sick with guilt

244 replies

zeberwee · 20/06/2011 13:41

Last week I went on a family holiday with 2 cousins, 3 aunts, one uncle and my grandmother. It was a coach trip and before we even went everyone had stuck the knife into one aunt inparticular and were going on about how they hoped she didn't gab our heads off on the bus, embarrass us and general natter and be annoying. The morning we were waiting for the bus this aunt was stood there with her bag, big smile on face looking really happy and excited. My uncle went up behind her and shouted "DUH!" in her ear. She flinched and the rest of us fell about laughing. She said "what did you do that for?" so everyone started having a go at her telling her to lighten up and not spoil the holiday by whinging. She went quiet and just stood there on her own waiting for the bus. When it arrived we all started pretend arguining about who would sit next to her. She got really mad and told us all to fuck off on our own and she was happy sitting alone, infact she prefered it. My other aunts then started teasing her telling her not to cry etc and laughing. So she's sat there reading her book and everytime the bus went passed farms etc they all shouted at her to stop farting and the other passengers was laughing at her too. At one point I looked at her and she was crying silently. I stopped taking part at this point and felt awful. The others however carried it on all through the holiday chucking things at her on the bus, my uncle emptied her bag all over the coridoor and said it was an accident but then kicked her pants over the banister in front of a load of other guests and my grandma kept blaming my aunt saying she was spoiling it for everyone by being grumpy. On the wednesday we were due to go on a day trip and everyone told my aunt that we had to catch the bus at 9am. Later that night I got a text saying it had been changed to 8am. I assumed my aunt knew but they didn't tell her and we left without her so she was stuck in the hotel on her own all day.
thursday morning she put a note through my grandmas door saying she had arranged transport home and she was really upset at the way she'd been treated. So she left 2 days early. We got back saturday morning and the others have done nothing but laugh about my poor aunt and say how she made the whole thing miles better than it would have been normally.

I feel sick with guilt but wasn't involved in most of it, I want to apologise but I want everyone else to apologise too. AIBU in holding off until everyone else says sorry too?

OP posts:
TorcherQueenie · 20/06/2011 14:02

Bunch of nasty fucking bullies you and your family. Don't apologise to her just get the fuck out of her life and let her start living a decent one without people like you in it.

MaxSchreck · 20/06/2011 14:02

This cannot be real.

Surely nobody behave like this in real life, do they??

toddlerama · 20/06/2011 14:03

This is one of the worst things I've read on here. I just want to find your aunt and hug her, and if strangers feel that way, why on earth haven't you done something yet??? Sad

Hullygully · 20/06/2011 14:03

yeah yeah yeah

M0naLisa · 20/06/2011 14:05

oh well at least she has a daughter to in her family who will be nice to her or is she one of you lot? Nasty to her own mother? I do genuinely hope she isnt.

M0naLisa · 20/06/2011 14:05

Toddlerama
Me too :( poor women.

PissesGlitter · 20/06/2011 14:05

dont be surprised if your aunt tells you to jog on when you try to apologise though
i certainly would anyway

M0naLisa · 20/06/2011 14:05

woman Blush

GeekCool · 20/06/2011 14:05

Shock I'm even more horrified (not sure why, it's horrid anyway) that you would stand by and watch a retired lady suffer such abuse.

lurkedtoolong · 20/06/2011 14:06

I smell troll. Everytime OP posts there's another horrible story. OP - either you and your family are nasty human beings or you posted this as a funny joke. Which is pretty nasty. Either way, back off under your bridge.

ginhag · 20/06/2011 14:06

Who watches lots of telly here? Surely someone can match this to a 'stenders plot or something?

All I know is it's not based on spongebob squarepants, mister maker or peppa pig.

PhilipJFry · 20/06/2011 14:06

Okay, if you're still reading and this is real, I would say do this:

  • Go to your aunt, in person, and apologise profusely and tell her how ashamed you are of your behaviour and for not saying anything.
  • Tell her how unacceptable everyone's actions were and that it wasn't right or funny. Being bullied like this can warp your sense of reality: you start to wonder if you're overreacting and should just go along with the joke. She needs to hear from someone else that it was wrong.

-Listen to her. I can guarantee that if this is how some trip goes she's probably got a bucketload of other incidences where her family have picked away at her.

  • Try and be a good relative and friend from now on. Stand up for her at family occasions if this happens again and support her in similar situations.

I don't think you realise that despite how funny it was at the time it's stuff like this that can lead to someone's self-esteem being destroyed, self-loathing and shame. It stays with you and it doesn't matter how many years go by the memory will still be there, eating away at you when you think about it.

BoscoIsMyLover · 20/06/2011 14:07

I hope to christ this isnt real. If it is, by god I hope ye get whats coming to ye, a bunch of bullying fuckwits with not a braincell between the family.

Best example of inbreeding I have ever heard.

BeerTricksPotter · 20/06/2011 14:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 20/06/2011 14:07

I almost don't know whether to take this seriously. It sounds unbelievable. Are you all 12 years old?

No idea how you make up for this, but 'holding off' for the other arseholes family members to apologise is just adding to the childishness of it.

Portofino · 20/06/2011 14:08

If this IS real I think you are ALL a lot of juveniles twats and should be ashamed!

Belljar71 · 20/06/2011 14:09

Cunts the lot of you.You are on par with the cunts who abused those poor young people at their care home.If I was your aunt I would spit in your face if you tried to talk to me.You deserve a fucking whipping.Bitch.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/06/2011 14:09

No disrespect to men, but you really can't be a woman, OP. You don't behave like any woman I know of? I'm suspicious of you... you type a massively long OP full of horrible 'antics' that you and your knuckle-dragging family have found oh so funny - and you ask here if you should apologise and whether you should wait for a family apology?

Perhaps I've just been lucky in my life, but I've never come across a 'woman' like you... if you are one. If you really have anything about you, and this horror story is true, then you know what you must do... without some randoms on a chatboard telling you.

You really are a disgrace. Angry

BullieMama · 20/06/2011 14:09

If this is for real, I can't help but think what a nasty bunch of bastards you all are, the old old adage of choosing your friends but not your family has never rung more soundly.

There must be a defective gene in your family if you collectively think this behaviour is ok - you may all joke amongst yourselves, but if you could see that your Aunt was upset and actually crying why didn't you grow a pair of balls and call a stop to it.

What a shower of relatives you are blessed with.

ChocolateTeacup · 20/06/2011 14:09

You and your family are utterly disgusting, anyone with any sense of morals or basic decency would have stood up for her the minute it started, I hope she never speaks to any of you again, its not as if you add value to her life, her own family for gods sake destroyed that poor woman's holiday you all should be completely ashamed of yourself and beg for forgiveness

ginhag · 20/06/2011 14:10

One of those 'look how fucked up our country is' type documentaries you get on channel 5?

beatrixkitto · 20/06/2011 14:10

Oh yeah sounds like a right laugh!!

Does being in a crowd and bullying an individual make you feel big does it?!

YOU should have stuck up for her. YOU knew what was happening.

You bunch of chavvy cunts

beatrixkitto · 20/06/2011 14:11
Angry
Nuttychic · 20/06/2011 14:11

Out of your whole family, there is only one mature, self respecting human being (your aunt). The poor woman being born into a family of bullying, egotistical, juvenile asses!

No matter how bad you feel, its not really enough is it. You actually just need to grow the hell up - the lot of you.

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 20/06/2011 14:12

I hope this isn't true because if it is you should be throughly ashamed.