to not care if its her wedding/honeymoon, a pregnant woman shouldnt be smoking and drinking?

[biddysmama]

my friend is 11 weeks pregnant, just got married and been on honeymoon. at the wedding she was smoking and drinking and was smoking and(she isnt quitting) drinking on her honeymoon... her last baby stopped growing when she was pregnant and she was induced early. mayb iabu but i really dont like it :(

wow. you can use google. .

Yes - you were talking about morality. Morality refers to the rules of behavioural conduct and how they are percieved in a society. But I guess you didnt know that.

You could google it again

Lyingwitch - of course it doesnt make any difference. Why would it need to. Its my opinion. It is benign. I am not going to call for legislation on how pregnant women behave - I will just have my own thoughts and opinions, which unless asked I will keep to myself.

Now stop judging me for it

OK people come and judge me.

I have had two sections the first left me with the most dangerous scar type and in my last two pregnancies I was an automatic candidate for a section with no discussion. I decided this time I didn't want another section, even though I have the highest risk of uterine rupture and my cons described the process of a rupture how quickly it could happen and my baby brain damaged or dead before they could get me to theater.

Legally it's my choice. My cons made sure I understood what I was asking and then, despite her own feelings, supported my choice. She even wrote her number in my notes in case anyone wasn't supportive on the day I could ask for them to call her. It's informed choice. I was informed about the risks, even to the point of watching an animation graphically depicting a baby dying from rupture, and I chose to live with that risk. One cons said to me "you don't say 'don't get in a car you might crash and die' life doesn't work like that. You have to decide which risks in life you can live with"

Lying, what would you think of someone who did drink and drive? Are you saying you wouldnt judge them, and that it is 'their body, their business' even though they are putting others lives in danger? And if you did judge, would you only d so because drink driving is illegal? Does your sense of morality only encompass what is illegal and not illegal?

Smoking and drinking whilst pregnant is not illegal - however, that does not mean to say that I cannot have the opinion that women who do it regualrly are irresponsible.

you say google, I say Masters in Psychology. Never mind . Keep reading and you'll eventually understand that advanced morality transcends both rules and society, that is actually Kohlbergs point.

me too........(well mine is an msc in cognitive neuroscience).shall we congratulate each other? well mine is

YOUR point was that "drink driving is illegal and therefore wrong" - my point was that you displayed a very low level of moral reasoning by using this argument.

oh and i still say google

my sister smoked in noth her pregnancies and i am proud of being cats bum face mrs mcjudgy pants every time she lit up i'd remind her of cot death low birth weights asthma etc etc till eventually she stopped smoking in front of me at least and as we used to be close up until last winter i think she was down to about 5 a day. still no words to describe how disgusted i am at those who smoke knowing it can affect their unborn child.

a friend of mine used to smoke quite heavily and as soon as she found out she was PG with her DD she quit that day, some ppl can do it.

as it happens my OH and i were planning on getting married this august before we found out we were PG and decided against it as i'll be around 6 and a half months gone and would like to get properly pissed at my reception and i wouldnt put our unborn son at risk just for a few sneaky cocktails and im lucky enough not to have got caught up in the smoking fad.

you are all fucking men'al innit

I didn't mention drink driving actually. Didn't they teach you to read before your "masters"?

and if I had, that wouldn't have been my point. I don't see morality in those terms. "Wrong" and "right", rather naive IMO.

sorry - it wasnt you. so why you went to the trouble of disecting a comment made to someone else is beyond me.

then you probably shouldn't be on a forum such as this. It's not actually a one on one chat you know.

You are a strange one MsTeak. You spend ages banging on and on about "judging" and how terrible it is - far worse than smoking when pregnant. You hate it - god how you hate it.

Then you do something as mundane as put a bit of food colouring in your childs food and actually START a thread going "ooh look what i did - am i evil or a genuis?"

In other words ...ooh judge me judge please judge me - i love being judged and validated by others.

Run along now dear I am ever so bored of you

No one has judged me yet. I did something worse. I risked brain damage or death to my baby!

Personally I'm totally sick and tired of the whole "it's my body I can do what I want" argument when it comes to pregnancy. It isn't just the expectant mother's body on the line here. There is also an innocent life, completely dependant on the mother to survive. I wonder when people will realise that if a mother has rights, an unborn child has rights too.

confuddled - can I ask why you decided to not go ahead with a caesarian for your third child?

I wrote 4 pages of reasons for my cons so the concise version...

I didn't want a GA which I would have had to have
I didn't want to have to go through labour then have a crash section which I would have had to
I wanted to see my baby before she was taken
I didn't want major abdominal surgery just in case
I didn't want to be tied to a bed for a week or more reliant on staff to sit me up or pass me my baby
I didn't want to do anything that would make my back worse.

I thought that all that was a given but a rupture wasn't and we live with life's little risks every day.

That was a light-hearted thread, cat-girl, with a handy tip for others, but good to know you worked out how to use the stalk search button. Clever you.

These threads always have me reaching for a fag

Evil bitch! Outrageous behaviour. Doesn't she know that know she has been impregnated with Sacred Sperm Of Man, she is no longer a being with free will and independent thought? No no... she is now a Holy Vessel of New Life and has no rights at all! Burn the witch, burn the witch! After the baby's born of course.

@ Orm.

My dboss smoked and drank at her wedding (we didn't know she was pregnant noted the groom kept following her around trying to get her not to drink and smoke) - however her dd was fine and the other three she's had since. She's very well educated and in a top notch job. Don't know if she smoked during the other pregnancies.

Not great - it IS a risk - but her risk really.

I found it easy to stop smoking only because I'd given up when ttc and found it way too easy and did the stupid thing of starting again. However, three weeks of smoking 3 per day and found myself pregnant and it was, of course easy to stop again. The drinking I found harder - but back then the odd glass of red wasn't considered that bad.

Just because someone finds it easy to quit doesn't mean others will.

Look, as I said earlier in the thread, women are the ones who have to carry the babies - its just life, suck it up. And if you decide to get pregnant and keep the baby, then I am afraid that sorry, but it is no longer just all about you and what you want to do - you are also responsible for another life and to smoke and drink when pregnant when you know it could harm your baby is irresponsible in my opinion. Sorry if that offends.