I am so bored of this so this will be my last post.
To summarise:
I find your stance of being extremely judgemental of other people whilst at the same time condeming being judgemental confused and hypocritical.
I find you patronising and I think some of your agruments are poorly founded, lack clarity and an ability to see "the bigger picture". I do not like the idea of people who make some of the arguments you have made advocating my rights as a woman. I actually think it can be harmful to the perception of women as a whole and the advancement of their rights.
We will never agree on the above so there is little point continuing.
Given you have no idea where I live or what my situation is I find the assumptions you make rather silly. I may have done wonders for womens rights, I may live in a society where women have no rights at all. You dont know and I suspect you really don't care so it seems odd for you to ask and to make such assumptions.
I really cannot be bothered to continue this argument with you as it is not going anywhere and I am sure we both have far more productive things to do with our time.
And in answer to the OP which is what this was orignally about;
No. You are not being unreasonable not to like the fact that your friend is drinking and smoking whilst pregnant. You have the right not to like it. Most people wouldnt like it. I note you are not advocating removing her right to drink or smoke when pregnant or actually judging her. Nor are you wringing your hands and demanding something be done. You are simply aware of your own, internal, personal dislike of the situation and are wondering if it is unreasonable to feel like that. It isn't.
Some people would call your friend a fuckwit for her actions. I wouldn't make that call on someone I don't know - but just so you are aware - if she is indeed a fuckwit, then it is absoultley fine to go ahead and judge her and MsTeak will back you up on that one, so you can go ahead with impunity.