to not care if its her wedding/honeymoon, a pregnant woman shouldnt be smoking and drinking?

[biddysmama]

my friend is 11 weeks pregnant, just got married and been on honeymoon. at the wedding she was smoking and drinking and was smoking and(she isnt quitting) drinking on her honeymoon... her last baby stopped growing when she was pregnant and she was induced early. mayb iabu but i really dont like it :(

I mean not my buisness so I keep my nose out of it

You're not listening, Louise, and you're not answering the questions. What do you mean "oh let them smoke then"? Who do you think is going to stop them?

We don't live in a place where pregnant women are forced to do, or not do, anything. Thank fuck. Nobody here has said its perfectly fine to smoke while pregnant, so what are you talking about?

My mum smoked and I was low birthweight. But I was a very healthy baby apart from that because I was breastfed, unlike most other kids my age I would have thought. Judge that.

Pumpernickel, that's what I was saying.

My mom smoked all through her 3 pregnancies and we all turned out fine, so putting links up and telling me it's a patenting forum means fuck all
Get it in your head alouise I've never smoked on my life I'm not defending them but what they do is THEIR buisness

Alouiseg... You don't seem to comprehend what people are actually saying. Do you always just blindly follow the rabid mainstream?

Nobody is saying that it's the right thing to do but some are saying that it's nobody else's business to judge. I'd go a step further and say that the 'judgers' are low-achievers, always watching what others are doing and benchmarking themselves against those they actually consider beneath them.

Me too TimeWasting, although I wasn't even a low birthweight. I did however have lots of earaches throughout childhood, we now know that they are caused by smoking.

MSTeak, nobody can stop anyone doing anything they like. It still doesnt make it right. The worst thing about it is the enforced damage on another person, that person has zero choice. The child of a smoker is far more likely to smoke than the child of a non smoker.

If we happily tolerate pregnant women smoking we are not sending the correct message.

I think the message on smoking in pregnancy is pretty clear to all. How is your pearl-clutching going to help any?

we are not sending the correct message... God, were you trying to send a message and these low-level citizens were not listening to you? The arrogance... astounding.

Perhaps the babies should be whipped out, in vitro, and implanted into deserving women?

What is it that Judge Judy says.... oh yes, "Stupid is forever...".

MsTeak Sun 19-Jun-11 10:17:46
You might think so, but since there is nothing at all that you can do about it, why sit around whining about it? It isn't actually your business what another woman does to her body is it, no matter what your opinion on it.

If we take that attitude and extrapolate it to its logical conclusion, let me just call the government and tell them the police and social services can stand down, shall I? After all, if I suspect a child is being abused, it's none of my business what another parent does to his/her child, is it? I don't know why so many people whine on about child abuse and the failings of social services when we are surely meant to mind our own business and let people do what the hell they like.

MsTeak - your attitude of apathy sums up so much of what is wrong with society right now. No-one can make a difference so why bother? Let it go to hell.

The "judgers" are low achievers.......hmmmmmm ..... makes about as much sense as saying women who smoke when pregnant are of the Jeremy Kyle/Asda deomgraphic.

This woman's first child stopped growing because she smoked in pregnancy. She is willingly risking that again on her second. In my opinion she is not a fit parent and I feel very sorry for her children. There is no excuse for smoking when pregnant

The trouble is, encouraging smug fuckwits to point the finger at other women sets a dangerous precedent for all women ie that becoming pregnant (or even being of childbearing age) means your body becomes public property and other people have the right to control your behaviour. So women of childbearing age should not just be prohibited from smoking and drinking, but they shouldn't be exposed to traffic fumes, or stand too close to computers, or climb too many stairs - why not just put them all into the protective custody of their husbands and make sure they stay at home and do what they are told. Think of the babies!

LyingWitch - if the judgers are low-achievers, I take it you are including yourself in that category then? With your propensity for judging those who judge, and all that?

`TeamDamon, you aren't the government. You do seem to be over-estimating the importance of your opinion.

And your "extrapolation" is bogus, since a living child is an entirely different prospect to a foetus in utero. Child abuse...don't be so absurd, you're making yourself look very silly.

A foetus isn't a child. It's part of the mother's body until it's born. It's not child abuse.

OK, SpringChicken, you've convinced me to let the smug fuckwits smoke and drink all they like.

Or were the women who continue to smoke and drink through pregnancy not the smug fuckwits you were referring to?

So it is ok to smoke when pregant but not ok to blow smoke in to a childs face because before it is born it is part of the womans body and she has the right to do anything she wants but after it is born it is a person in its own right? is that what you are actually saying timewasting?

Where did I say I was the government?

A foetus isn't a child? Well, you must remember to tell all those women who have suffered miscarriages and stillbirths how ridiculous they are being to mourn the loss of a child then, mustn't you?

Spot on teamdamon. Cannot believe the stupidity of timewastings post

LET? TeamDamon? Who do you think you are? In case I wasn't clear: your opinion is of no importance to anyone and you have no influence on anyone's behaviour.

And, yes, catgirl, thats what she's saying. Is the notion that a grown adult can do legal things to their own body so difficult to grasp? Do you always have such trouble with simple ideas?

Well yes, sort of.

It's not 'ok' to smoke while pregnant, it's simply no one else's business.

again with the hyperbole and nonsense, what has that got to do with anything, Damon?

catgirl... People have the information available to them, there are medical professionals on hand, free of charge. People have choices and they make them, good or bad. Do you really think that tutting at somebody smoking during pregnancy or at any other time is going to get them to stop? If they won't stop for their baby, why would they stop because you say so?

I think judgers are low achievers because their attention is always focused on other people's perceived 'wrong doings', benchmarking the 'wrong doers' against their own 'level'... but as long as it makes the judger feel useful and er... powerful, what the hell.

So would you say a woman has the right to take crack or heroin when pregant? Or not but only because it is not "legal". I am fine with anyone doing anything to their own body except where it casues harm to others.

I would judge, not so much for the drinking but more the smoking.