to not care if its her wedding/honeymoon, a pregnant woman shouldnt be smoking and drinking?

[biddysmama]

my friend is 11 weeks pregnant, just got married and been on honeymoon. at the wedding she was smoking and drinking and was smoking and(she isnt quitting) drinking on her honeymoon... her last baby stopped growing when she was pregnant and she was induced early. mayb iabu but i really dont like it :(

I really don't get these "her body her choice" - attitudes!? Oh yeah, people should be able to whatever the hell they want and no-one is allowed to judge, even if they are (as this woman is) doing harm to their own babies.

OP - I would say something to your friend.

"I saw the thread title and came on to see how many posts there would be before the 'how dare you judge someone for doing something which they know will put their unborn child at risk but they will continue to do anyway because their right to gratification is more important than their child's health and how dare you suggest otherwise?' brigade came on.

I am relieved to see that my faith in MN madness can rest unshaken since it was the second post.

There have been many moments when MN has jumped the shark recently, on various threads, but this belief that it is a worse crime to judge than it is to poison your unborn baby with cigarettes and alcohol is still up there with the best of 'em."

Hear hear.

Lovemyoscar. What an infantile thing to post.

You don't have to like it, its not your body.

Having the odd glass of wine is a world away from getting drunk regularly when pg. Afaik there is no evidence of harm caused by small amounts of alcohol. When i was pg my gp told me to have a drink if i was stressed as stress IS bad for the baby. So it depends on how much she drinking whether yabu. Yanbu on the smoking.

and you're missing the point on "her body, her choice"...nobody says you can't judge all you like, but whats the point? It is her body and it is her choice, so why waste your time judging yourself silly? Seems pretty pointless to me.

You might stop misrepresenting other posters as well, calling it "madness" when you either haven't read them or have obviously misunderstood them.

I sort of agree with Oscar though, it's an easy choice a baby or a cigarette. If they chooses the cigarette then they shouldn't even be pregnant in the first place. They are consciously forcing carbon monoxide into a growing foetus.

If any pregnant woman sat in a car inhaling exhaust gases via a hosepipe she would be sectioned. Rightly so.

The op is very judgy. YABU
Mind your own business

Surely the health of the next generation is all of our business, we hardly live in a country where only the parent provides for the welfare of the child?

Thanks AlouiseG. I do think people who put their own needs before that of their unborn child are not ready to be responsible parents.

Alouise, what in this world is really that black and white?
So you think it would be better to abort a foetus than smoke?
Or perhaps smokers should be forcibly sterilized?

Are all the judgy-mums purely organic-breastfeeding-wooden-toy-wielding images of perfection?

You might think so, but since there is nothing at all that you can do about it, why sit around whining about it? It isn't actually your business what another woman does to her body is it, no matter what your opinion on it.

So, again, what is your point?

Smoking while pregnant IS wrong! Dress it up how you like but it still doesn't make it right.

and? what if it is?

So your gonna stop every pregnant woman from smoking and drinking are you Ms Judgypants?
Good luck as most will tell you where to go, no I never smoked whilst pregnant but still went horseriding. How irresponsible of me.

Yes, in general terms, smoking when pregnant is not a good thing. I don't think anybody here has said that it is.
Being unable to see the possibility of grey areas in other people's lives smacks of immaturity to me though. Hardly responsible in a parent either.

aloiuse it's not your buisness whether it's right or wrong just butt out
I'd hate you to be my friend I would of slapped you one by now with your stupid opinions.

timewasting I hate smoking can't abear it but it's my buisness

You know something - the BIGGEST thing that affects a baby's health, life chances etc etc is its socioeconomic status - so do we judge the thousands of women from more dperived backgrounds who choose to have children????

Of course smoking and drinking isn't good for a foetus - but there is NO evidence that a little of wither causes any harm. We all make life choices for ourselves and our children - and some of those choices are riskier than others.

Exactly Pumpernickel.

Oh, let them smoke then, poor little smoky babies will be looked after by the nhs when they have low birthweight, green snot pouring from their noses, chronic ear infections and everything else that pre and post natal smoking does to them.

Because it's a "grey" area. Nicotine takes 3 days to leave the system. Its really not that hard.

I'm going to agree with Worraliberty. The point's been taken much further but, if some people think they have the right to judge then they should be 'perfect' themselves.

Pregnancy isn't a complete surprise, it can be avoided so taking the 'overweight' argument further, perhaps those who are overweight shouldn't allow themselves to become pregnant until they're at ideal weight?

Certainly no drinking of alcohol of any kind - and tobacco goes without saying.

It's one thing to silently think what you like but 'judgers' deserve what they get.

there's nothing wrong with riding whilst pregant. don't really see how its relevant ot the thread but i doubt anyone would say anything about it. Mary King won an eventing medal at 5 months

With DD1 I cut my smoking right down - 2/3 at the most a day. She was and is perfectly healthy. With my 2nd and 3rd pregs I stopped completely - both ended in MC. With DD2 I cut down again - and she's perfectly healthy. Neither low birthweight, neither have had ear infection etc etc. Now of course I'm not saying that the MCs had anything to do with stopping smoking - but it was my choice. Bbaies born to smokers aren't automatically low birthweight, and don't automatically have more infections etc. Similarly not all low birthweight babies/ill babies have Mums who smoked.

Why are any of you even attempting to defend the indefensible is beyond me. On a parenting forum too.

this doesn't make for happy reading