to think that the middle-classes suck the very soul out of parenting (and life in generally actually)?

[bejeezus]

Ive been on/reading a few threads- about Unconditional Parenting, Attachment Parenting, Steiner blah blah blah. 99.9% of each of these 'philosophies' is common sense, the other 0.1% is deranged and warped interpretation of what started out as a description of common sense.

I am sick of people researching and 'reading round' subjects, analyzing and LABELLING EVERY activity and aspect of growing kids. People (and animals!) have been doing it since time began.

Is it because middle-classers have all been raised by nannies/ have no parental role-models/ have poles up their asses/ lack imagination/ HAVE no intuition/ have no faith in their abilities/ need to feel superior - WHAT is it??

What is wrong with intuition, spontaneity and getting it wrong? in fact I bet my socks there is some research some-where, that says that those are essential aspects of child-rearing and if you dont embrace them whole-heartedly, your childrens teeth will fall out/ they will loose the ability to speak and be in prison by the age of 25 years and 7 months.

Why am I bothered?;

I said on a Steiner thread in parenting that 'I hate wooden toys and all they stand for'

Then I got to thinking; actually I hate what they now stand for but I DONT hate wooden toys. I love wooden toys; the smell, the feel, the memories. But we used to scavenge the tips for timber/rob neighbours fence posts then get dad/grandad/uncle to help us build go karts/benches/huts with an excess of nail string and glue. Where is the soul and creativity in parents spending a weeks/ a months wage (or even a penny) on some imported sustainably sourced wooden toy fashioned by a stranger or mass produced in a factory? It has no more educational/ developmental value than a brightly coloured plastic toy. It is not more enjoyable for the child. It is more enjoyable for the parents BECAUSE IT LOOKS NICE IN THEIR HOUSE!!

Middle class parents are like the anti-Rastamouse;

'always there to make a good thing bad'

Class War- Bring it!

Portofino: no they don't go to the local comp as they aren't old enough yet. However when the time comes they will go to a state secondary, as does pretty much everyone else here. The nearest private school would mean a 3.5 hour round trip on rural roads for a school run. Also, there is very little provision within private schools for learning through my DC's first language, whereas the local state schools are excellent. The advantage of being so far from private schools is that everyone uses the state schools, so the children of senior university lecturers and surgeons sit next to the children of cleaners and refuse collectors.

As for the football shirts, well I prefer rugby as I understand the game whereas football completely passes me by. But we are in Wales and not the south of England so there isn't the same public school status rubbish surrounding rugby. The DC do have replica rugby shirts but they are still made from the same horrible shiny fabric.

I have nothing against Sports Direct per se, it is very good for buying sports kit for the DC. I just don't necessarily want them wearing Umbro track suits and replica football shirts 24/7. I'm not a fan of dressing like the "herd". I have the same problem with clothes from Next for DD, if I happen to see something I like there you can bet every other girl in Reception will have the same outfit. It's just a bit boring. I do realise however that teen rebellion will be the end of this!

Well I haven't read through the 400 posts this topic has already amassed, but OP- it is exactly your stereotypical generalization of people just a tiny bit different from you that creates the class divides this country has been trying to fix since Victorian times. I find it impossible to fathom that anybody could write off such a huge group of people as the 'middle classes' in one fell, hatred-filled swoop.
And as for "what's wrong with getting it wrong"- well some of us (and plenty in your beloved 'working classes') love our children enough to want to do the best for them. Which means doing the research and getting it right. I really don't understand your problem with that...?

Emily- there is no hatred

I think you need to read the thread Emily-no one is writing off the middle class values.

"In the United Kingdom, the term middle class implies those people who typically have had a good education, own a family house, and hold a managerial or professional post" So I take it I am pigeon holed as said middle class parent and yes I describe myself as a "Yummy mummy" as I take time out to look after myslef and look good (normally when DS is having his naps) But I do not buy things for my DS so my house looks nice. Infact he doesn't have many toys, because he is more interested in chasing the cat, ripping paper, crawling round the garden and trying to get away with eating soil and grass. I do not parent by the "rules" we have fun and I let him be a child and have fun... whether it is filling the paddling pool with fairy liquid so we have a bubble filled garden or destroying the living room so we can make dens... so bejeezus I think this knocks a rather large hole in your theory and it is "nothing to do with being middle class and everything to do with being a twat" thank you Hassled

I think the kind of parents that beejeezus mentions do exist and are almost always middle class. I should clarify that these type of parents are middle class,not all middle classes are these type of parents.
The way this tribe spaek to their children is so unnatural- as if their children were robots rather than individuals. They are always loudly explaining everything in a strange patronising voice rather than sounding relaxed or spontaneous.
I think that the competitive parenting culture that exists in this modern age is to blame. Everything is analyzed and the children are watched like a hawk, other children are judged rather harshly for the slightest disrespect shown to their little one. I wish these parents would just relax and enjoy their children. Childhood is supposed to be fun, after all.

True, mrsruffallo-that was the whole point. I don't think for a minute that anyone was criticising middle class values.

Of course they weren't, exotic fruit- but people like to take umbridge

I was just pointing it out to those who posted recently, without reading the 400 or so posts.

Jeckadeck is spot on- the I'm a proper parent signals, accompanied with the disparaging remarks directed at "failing" parents who don't do it supermum's way. Overrides class though, and is truly irritating!

Sorry exoticfruits and mrsruffallo, you're right I should have read the posts .

400 is rather a lot to plough through! You only need to read mrsruffallo!

if people have not noticed there are good and bad people in all groups/ religions/ eww CLASS i cant abide this class ref ...the funny thing is im from a 'middle class family' if you like living now in a middle class area but am poor as a church mouse and ive paid for my house outright and it tickles me pink the uptight woman living next door cant get over it she hates that and thinks were common as muck, she advises me on all sorts as if im thick as as shite , saw me packing he car for our summer holiday last year and rushed out with a brand new book (antony horowitz) shoved it in my ds's hands and said here read this (it looked brand new had no dog ears) and said my DS doesn't like it .. it felt like she was saying here i know your mum doesn't buy you books and your illiterate. my DS who has just finished his gcses and is a straight A* student CAN READ tyvm ... when you mention this one incident it sounds like im being unfair but its dozens of incidents this is just one of many , like advising me on how to chose a piano teacher, how to trim my bush (NO NOT THAT ONE ) how to sort my washing, why i should hang washing and not use tumble dryer, how to be fit and walk to school how to separate your recycable rubish, to please take down the christmas lights , to mow the lawn more often, how grammer schools are MUCH better than secondary schools, the best uni's to go to, who are the best decorators in town ( i usually do it so it obviously looks poo in my house) where to take my charity items, the list of dos and donts go on too and the how to's. not to mention we are going to hell as we dont go to church on sundays either

HAHA i even spell grammar wrong see maybe she was right i should have gone to gammar school wot wot wot jolly hockey sticks

Tell you what I do hate- baby on board, small person on board, Little Miss Naughty on board etc etc car stickers. What is the point ? If somebody had suggested one of those to any parent 35 years ago, they'd have laughed them down the street ! Hate 'Yummy Mummy' stuff too, I must admit, wouldn't buy any of it. But- I am a third time Mum and you learn these things. The things you think are cool or sweet as a first time Mum pale somewhat by the time you get to 3 and the marketing ploys just don't wash any more !!

Also, middle-class thing. I love it, I love being at my son's pre-school and hearing a Mum inform a teacher that today, she's gone for an authentic Moroccan feel to her child's lunch box with ingredients she picked up whilst over there on business !! Laugh my titties off as I proudly unload his Penguin cake bar ( not made with authentic penguins, picked up on business at the North/ South pole or even with a penguin-ey feel ! ) and the Smartprice crisps. I apologetically explain that once again I have left the home made grilled pepper and butternut squash cous cous at home on the side ! I am content in my parenting. My boy is happy and healthy, does get his fruit and veg Embrace the foolishness of the overbearing parent and just be happy with the parent you are. Brown rice and over-priced fruit smoothie anyone ??!!

liverbird - DH has one on his car which says "For Sale - Kids included" which is pretty naff but better than "little princess on board" and does tend to start conversations in car parks!

I always think signs in cars are terribly working class.

I have a small sticker on the rear passenger window near the car seat.
It says BeSafe Rear Facing Kid on Board. Nothing wrong with that IMO.

an authentic Moroccan feel to her child's lunch box with ingredients she picked up whilst over there on business !!