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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that my friend is being uptight to dictate what snacks can be consumed in her house?

180 replies

firemansamantha · 14/06/2011 18:30

I have a group of friends, met through antenatal classes.

We've always met around each other's houses for a chat and catch up. The babies are all 9 months old now and been weaned a while.

Quite a few of the babies snack on raisins. This one friend has a dog(which she thanksfully locks in another room while we're there,. as I don#t want their dog around my DS).

Anyway, this one friend has a "no raisin" rule and basically refuses to let us give the DC raisins at her house. This is a right pain in the arse as DS loves them and they really get him out of bad/grumpy moods.

Friend says raisins aren't good for dogs but I just think it's rude for her to tell us what can and can't be eaten by 9 month old babies!

AIBU?

OP posts:
Cat98 · 15/06/2011 08:57

Raisins are better for babies than chocolate buttons. Haven't got an opinion on the rest of the thread but wanted to correct that incorrect info :)

CheerMum · 15/06/2011 09:23

I never knew about raisins being bad for doggies, mind you, my dog is a big dumbo simple soul who merrily hoovers any crumbs he can find. Luckily he is a big fattie of sufficient size that a few raisins probably wouldn't do him harm.

OP, of course YABU, and not coming across as a very nice friend.

As an aside - I couldn't have given my dog a "classy" name because he is a big manly looking boy so we went for "Fred", which suits him.

Morloth · 15/06/2011 09:31

Her babies probably are more important to her than her dog, yours not so much.

Will your baby actually die if he doesn't eat raisins during this visit? Or actually suffer any consequences whatsoever? Nope.

Suck it up and either don't go to her house, or just don't take raisins there. WHY is this such a big deal to you?

Ormirian · 15/06/2011 09:58

chocolate is bad for dogs too. It sends them loopy ...or something. What about breadsticks as a snack for ravenous small child? Or even James Wellbeloved complete doggy food Grin

Ormirian · 15/06/2011 10:00

Re names. The dog we are adopting is called Harley which I find a bit meh. There was some minor variations on the Cockney Rebel theme on another thread but anyone who wants to think up a better name for him would be v welcome. Ta Grin BTW he is a black with brown flecks collie-cross.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 15/06/2011 10:10

TheProvincialLady - I'm not going to flame you for your comment about the stupidity of some dogs - not when I am sitting here looking at my gorgeous chocolate lab, who is absolute proof that you can't have both brains and beauty!! She eats absolutely anything - I don't think we've found a single substance that she won't eat with apparent enjoyment - and her first christmas she stole 15 mince pies when dh let her into the kitchen where they were cooling on the side. Luckily they did her no harm, though we were worried for a while.

Firemansamantha - in your OP you said, " This one friend has a dog(which she thanksfully locks in another room while we're there, as I don't want their dog around my DS)." - which could be read as saying that she shuts the dog away because you've asked her, or that she made the decision on her own to shut the dog away, but that you are glad she does - hence the fact that a poster thinks you asked for the dog to be shut away.

On the topic of the thread, though, you are being very unreasonable indeed. Your baby does not need a constant supply of raisins to survive - they are a treat for him, and there are other things that he could have as treats that wouldn't be hazardous to the family pet in the home you are visiting. I really don't see why this is such a big problem for you - just give him something else, and save the raisins for when you aren't at this friend's house.

Other people have asked - would you be as snotty about this if there was a person in the house with an allergy - for example if you were asked not to bring any nut products because someone might become seriously ill or even die of anaphylactic shock if they came into contact with nuts? A pet can be a very important and much loved member of the family - all our pets have had their own, very special place in my heart, and each time one of them has had to be put to sleep, I have been devastated. How would you feel if your child dropped some raisins, and your friend's dog ate them, developed renal failure suffered and then had to be put to sleep? Would you be able to look your grieving friend in the eye and say that your child's 'right' to eat raisins was worth her dog's suffering?

Ormirian · 15/06/2011 10:17

What this whole thread comes down to is the simply uncomprehending rage that animal-hating people sometimes feel that other human animals like being with and living with non-human animals. They don't understand it and it horrifies them. A complete disconnect in understanding that will never be fixed. But why it makes them so cross I dont know.

Omigawd · 15/06/2011 10:24

@Ormirian re Harley - somebody could call it Sebastian....or maybe even Psychomodo :)

There is Davidson of course....

Ormirian · 15/06/2011 10:27

I suggested Sebastian but then it was pointed out I'd get beaten up living where I do Grin Mostly Tysons and Killers round here....

Psychomodo would be good - but shortened to Psycho might be a problem (see above).

I was trying to avoid the HD refs - he's a British pooch not an American one! And I never cared for ZZTop..

Thanks though..... Grin

NunTheWiser · 15/06/2011 10:32

YABU, fireman. Your baby won't die if he has to go an hour without raisins. Your friend's dog could well die if he hoovers up leftover raisins.
Your baby might be your world, but he's not the centre of the universe.

Omigawd · 15/06/2011 10:36

Dino?

thefirstMrsDeVere · 15/06/2011 10:38

omirian my DS1 is called Harley.
He is 17 so I mostly just call him Stroppy Git under my breath.
You could use that for you new dog if you like

Grin
Ormirian · 15/06/2011 10:43

Oops sorry mrsdevere Blush It's only meh for a dog...

Stroppygit would be good. I have suggested BD to the DC - short for Bloody Dog (as in 'the bloody dog's chewed the remote again'] They said no.

ILoveYouToo · 15/06/2011 10:44

ILoveYouToo "Hope you've taken on board what a twat you're being."

firemansamantha "I'm just greatly amused at all the PFB assumptions and all the people saying I MADE her lock her dog away!
no point arguing with people who don't even know the facts!"

So...... no you haven't then.... Grin Grin

thefirstMrsDeVere · 15/06/2011 10:53

omirian dont be Blush

You dont have to like my DC's names -I wont start an AIBU about you Grin Honestly wasnt saying it to make you feel bad!

It always makes me laugh that I have a MN name for my dog and a NM name for my son.

exoticfruits · 15/06/2011 12:04

It is a lot of fuss about a few raisins-I'm sure you can use your imagination and think of something else-the DC will probably like a change anyway!

Original poster
firemansamantha · 15/06/2011 13:25

Thanks all!

If any of you care, he's my second!!!

Most amusing assumption though.

OP posts:
TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 15/06/2011 13:39

So you are just ignoring the point about raisins being fatal to dogs?

What would you ideally like her to do? Let you give the children raisins? Would you do the hoovering / searching for raisins before leaving, or would you leave that for her?

If your child can't do without raisins for the short time you are there and you find it unreasonable of her to ask that, you could always offer to be the one to hoover up / go round pick any up.

I realise there'd have to be 20 or more dropped raisins to even potentially cause a problem, but you'd be willing to take responsibility for clearing up and making sure there aren't any dropped here there and everywhere, I assume?

They're only raisins. Does it really matter if your child is asked to have something else? Really? When it's just such a faff for her that can be done away with by just - having something else. Wouldn't you just prefer to have a nice time with your friends than get worked up about raisins?

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 15/06/2011 13:51

I don't care if he's your second or your tenth, firemansamantha - but it would be interesting if you bothered to answer any of the real points that have been made on this thread.

Can your child honestly not go an hour or two without raisins? Can't you find some other treat for him?

Raisins can be fatal to dogs - so why is it unreasonable of your friend not to want them left on the floor for her dog?

Can you see that the part of your first post about her shutting the dog away is, at least, open to the misinterpretation that she shuts her dog away because you don't want it near her child?

Would you be as unreasonable about this if you were being asked not to bring a foodstuff into the house because someone in the house was allergic to it?

She probably loves this dog, and wants to keep it safe - what's so wrong about that?

peanutbutterkid · 15/06/2011 14:08

Um, don't understand why the thread blew up, but anyway:
Yes I think friend is quite fussy (most dog-owners I know don't ban raisins, or even chocolate!), but if raisin-phobia is the worst thing about her, I'd not make it into an issue.

LolaRennt · 15/06/2011 14:12

Peanutbutter most dog owners you know probably dont have a group of (apparently raisin crazed) 9 month olds in their house.

ANyway OP is a troll. Clearly

HopeForTheBest · 15/06/2011 14:13

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on request of its author.

Quenelle · 15/06/2011 14:59

I really hope it's a Prince Charles spaniel. I'd love to see its ears Smile

I found a raisin under the sofa cushion this morning. And I know for a fact that DS hasn't eaten any since before we went on holiday two weekends ago.

EveryonesJealousOfGingers · 15/06/2011 15:02

She is being considerate to you by shutting her dog away, why is it such a big issue for you to be considerate to her by not giving your DCs raisins while at her house? Surely there are alternative snacks, and your DC can have raisins any other time? Really don't see the big deal.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 15/06/2011 15:29

That's a very good point, Everyones - the OP is being very rude and demanding to expect her hostess to make all the concessions, whilst she makes none.

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