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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why some women don't have sex with their husbands enough?

327 replies

dontstopbelieving · 09/06/2011 22:14

Just from reading some threads I think some women don't realise how much a man needs sex. Totally on a different level to how we do but making that bit of effort not to think about how tired we are (I am most of the time) but just from my experience they don't want firework inducing experiences. Its just how men feel close and connected is by having sex. Shouldn't we make the effort to make the effort?

OP posts:
FreudianSlipper · 09/06/2011 23:01

its 2011

no one buys into men need to have sex anymore. this has been the excuse for men to visit prostitutes, cheat, have many sexual partners and for some to rape

men do not need to have sex anymore than women do and no their cocks do not suddenly drop off if they do not get any

IwanttobeShirleyValentine · 09/06/2011 23:02

Chortle!!!!

Pumpernickel10 · 09/06/2011 23:03

Is this a sick joke?
What an idiotic thing to post. I don't have sex and I've not had it in 8 months. I'm so depriving my DH shock horror I'd better fuck him
or he will shag someone else! You for real?

pickgo · 09/06/2011 23:04

OP say it with a shag

Original poster
dontstopbelieving · 09/06/2011 23:05

In the garden as to what is enough? Well enough for you as a couple. Once a week sometimes or more or less. I do not have a high sex drive.

I don't know. As much as before worn and kids got in the way?

Not a pointless thread. I am sure there are some lurkers or even posters that it has just made then stop an think about THEIR situation.

As I said I used to be too tired, busy, etc but I stopped and asked myself why I didn't want to have se with dh. The truth was I was just too tired and not in the mood but read this book that really helped me see the difference between men and women's 'needs'.

OP posts:
Thingumy · 09/06/2011 23:06

instead of wasting your evening on here maybe you should be webcaming with your dh or at the very least giving him a late night call?

He may need his nightly connection.....

Happymm · 09/06/2011 23:06

I think maybe that sometimes men and women approach sex differently. Am probably generalising a big here, but it sometimes seems that men need to have sex to feel loved, whereas women often need to feel loved to have sex. Maybe? :)

Happymm · 09/06/2011 23:07

A bit rather than a big-though a big...will do :o

Pumpernickel10 · 09/06/2011 23:09

Sorry but pointless thread to me what someone's idea of how many times you have sex is different to another's. Some of us don't want sex I certainly do not right now so please fuck off and think before you start a thread.
Rant over.
If you get flamed you deserve it.

MollysChamber · 09/06/2011 23:10

Oh. my. fucking. God.

A troll surely??

I have sex. But only when we both want to. Anything else is just horrid really.

Original poster
dontstopbelieving · 09/06/2011 23:11

Cannot stop laughing right now. Will leave you all to slate me while I go off to bed.

Seriously interesting replies. All appreciated Grin

OP posts:
CRS · 09/06/2011 23:11

Shit. I haven't GOT a husband!! What am I to do? Grin

Pumpernickel10 · 09/06/2011 23:11

It's been a troll filled day on here I think and it's not even half term

MollysChamber · 09/06/2011 23:12

Aye.

It's for the best OP.

Pumpernickel10 · 09/06/2011 23:13

You can't stop laughing op how do you think we feel, very side splitting I must say

beautifulswan · 09/06/2011 23:13

Bonkers mad

beautifulswan · 09/06/2011 23:14

I'd like to know what book you've read.

FunnysInTheGarden · 09/06/2011 23:14

OK, dontstop so once a week or so? I would guess that most parents who are in a loving relationship try to have sex once a week or so. We do.

Your OP made a sweeping implied generalisation that most of us don't think about our sex life enough and so our relationships suffer. I am guessing that most folk are painfully aware that they should have more sex but don't have the energy to. That I think is why you received so many sarky comments.

Original poster
dontstopbelieving · 09/06/2011 23:15

Ps not a troll at all. Happily speak to anyone of you Wink

OP posts:
Pumpernickel10 · 09/06/2011 23:18

Well my relationships not suffered maybe because I'm with someone that truly loves me and takes the rough with the smooth and doesn't get all huffy because I won't make love to him. Some relationships are strong and do survive

Omigawd · 09/06/2011 23:19

OP more seriously then I'd say "on average" men need it more than women and I agree that by and large men are less grumpy if they are getting it enough ( varies by person ) so IMO it is the sort of compromise women with lower sex drives should make for their men if try want an easygoing relationship.

Where it all gets hard is when the women get tired and grumpy - typically when kids are young, or where the men don't help with the chores/ kids etc and. / or they are working mums. Grumpy women get turned off, leading to frustrated grumpy men and then mumsnet threads ad nausea in a steady progression from "my DH is unreasonable" to "DH / DW is having affair" etc

But there are loads of exceptions to this average ( highly sexed women, impotent men etc etc) so lots of people won't see this picture at all which is why these sort of threads never reach a conclusion

Pumpernickel10 · 09/06/2011 23:19

And some funny are ill and can't have sex sadly. It's the last thing on their minds.

Pumpernickel10 · 09/06/2011 23:21

I don't make a compromise if I don't want I don't do it. Why fo something you don't enjoy?

ballstoit · 09/06/2011 23:21

You know what op, you've made me think...if I'd opened my legs a little more often I could still be with my ex. Thank the lord I didn't Grin.

Is it just me, or is opening your legs to get your husband to help you round the house no different to opening them for cash??

I love being single!

swallowedAfly · 09/06/2011 23:22

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