To ask why some women don't have sex with their husbands enough?

[dontstopbelieving]

Just from reading some threads I think some women don't realise how much a man needs sex. Totally on a different level to how we do but making that bit of effort not to think about how tired we are (I am most of the time) but just from my experience they don't want firework inducing experiences. Its just how men feel close and connected is by having sex. Shouldn't we make the effort to make the effort?

Men are more into extrem sex than women. Some married men go to massage parlours for that reason. Its not a good excuse. Dont make the promises if you intend to shag around. stay single (giggsy)

This is hilarious. What an amusingly Stepford Wives OP!

that simply is not true gabby, obviously as a man you would like to think so hey

most male partners I have been with are mostly into very simple sex.

Poshbag - I still have significant reservations about the way the OP was expressed but I too am quite shocked by the level of vitriol and meaness in some of the posts.

Yes illness, disability, taruma and childbirth obviously are going to have a huge impact on the physical side of a relationship. Where a man does nothing to look after his children or maintain the home then it will also have an understandably negative impact. However, I think that absent those factors if you hate the thought of intimacy with your DP/DH then just address the reasons or separate. Demanding faithful monogamy while imposing celibacy or withholding sex to control someone else is not a way to live and actually quite abusive.

Please excuse a slightly colourful metaphore. In my view a loving relationship is like a plain white cotton cloth and sex is a golden thread that runs through it. Without the strength of the cloth the golden thread is insufficent strength on its own to remain intact but remove the golden thread then the cloth becomes plain and and something precious is lost.

Marriage vows (yes I know the patriacy invented them) have it just about right.

"...be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live?"

"from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part;..."

"With my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you,...."

If you no longer want to honour that promise then by all means separate but I think it unrealistic to expect to be able to pick among the bits you want and discard the rest.

No wonder the divorce rate is so high, there are some very mean people out there.
"he didnt cut the grass so he cant make love to me" a tad controlling i think.
For the record DP is an amazing lover, i just dont want a marathon everytime. We know and understand each other and dont use sex withdrawal as a punishment.

probably not poshgirl but by the time the poster has cut the grass, fed kids and dh, done the house work and ironing etc etc etc, then as the give and take did not sufficiently happen sex is probably the last thing on the posters mind.

Personally in my post I was just directly answering the question as to why I didn't have more sex with my husband. Can't bring my self to call him DH as darling is so unfitting in the circumstances.

Do you lot think its women that go to prostitutes. Please read the serious research on the subject.

there is a lot of serious rESEARCH THAT SUGGESTS MEN WANT SEX; WOMEN WANT REALTIONSHIPS. why deny the obvious?

Can't believe how many chippy people there are on this site. They pretend to be feminists but I think there are some real issues here! I can see what the OP was trying to say and I agree actually. She's not talking about abusive relationships when the man's trying to force the woman to have sex all the time, or one partner being disabled or whatever, she's just talking about a fairly normal relationship where we tend (after a few years, kids etc) to get a bit lazy about having sex (men as well as women, although perhaps more usually women) and how actually making the effort now and then really improves your relationship - it makes you feel closer to each other the rest of the time.

It's definitely true for me and my DH so no, YANBU OP, but this thread is a fascinating insight into just how many issues are out there!

I would be prepared to bet money that the DPs who feel they should not help out if their partners have a higher sex drive are less likely to be able to stay in stable relationships.

STIFF sex is a complex subject. If men were not bush chasers. The human race may not survive. Mother nature knows what shes up to. dont like bringing a geek like bunnytman Hugh hefnwet iI think a lot of men think that waynto it. But he said. "Monogamy is possible but not natural"

This compis daft.Hefner said. "monogamy is POSSIBLE but not NATURAL" discuss

Er..I didn't say disabled people have to have abnormal relationships! I said that I think the OP was probably just talking about a relationship where there are no compelling reasons (eg disability/giving birth recently etc) that obviously might interfere with having a sexual relationship (as have been raised).

By "issues" I mean the incredibly high number of posters who seem to bitterly resent their husband/men in general for various reasons.

PrinceHumperdink - okay badly phrased.

Come on sex is not a public game in normal marriages. Almost always just two people So whose wo. rd are we going to take on what happens. THE MEN? (you must be joking. Dr Kinsey did a big sex report many years ago.Have things changed?

dora I orgasm every time and I still don't want sex constantly. I find that quite an alien concept; I couldn't imagine sex being so important in my life. Orgasms are nice, but in the same way a really nice piece of chocolate cake is - doesn't mean I'm in the mood for it all the time. But you obviously have a much higher sex drive than me - not trying to say it's wrong, just to say don't assume if someone doesn't like sex as much as you, that means they're doing it wrong or with the wrong partner etc.

Good sex is great, but you have to be careful that it doesn't become the only way you're connecting with your partner. It can make you feel closer and more connected, but it's purely a hormone rush. If you have a good relationship anyway then you'll build on this rush rather than relying on it as is, the hormones will feed the relationship and the relationship will boost the effect of the hormones, you'll want to have sex in order to express the way you feel rather than to try and make the other person feel "love". What you have to be careful of, especially early in a relationship, is relying on that hormone rush to help you feel connected. If you don't connect in other ways, the hormone rush of sex fades after a while and you're left with someone who you don't really connect with, even sexually, any more. Whereas if your relationship is good and you listen to each other and do lots of other things together, as well as sex, the relationship is much stronger and likely to survive periods of low or no sex, such as when children are young or during a stressful time, for example.

Ha ha ...if I wasn't permanently exhausted by working, running the house, doing the sodding paperwork for a) me, b) him c) the DCs, d) demented mother etc etc etc for bloody ever....I might be interested every now and then.

i always orgasm from 69. Its hard to hold back and usually I do really quickly tbh. In my mind there is no better position. All the pleasure you get means you dont notice doing anything back

Thanks god I have such a wonderful DP - some of the men the women like OP have known must be awful.

If you have low expectations, you will only ever attract the trolls.

bertie - Its not the only way we are connected. Been married 7 years now and together for nearly a decade and only aged 27. We are connected in every way as we are the worlds soppiest couple according to friends and relatives, but that is probably what makes us want sex with each other all the time. I suppose I just go off mine and my husbands relationship and know when I am with him I just want sex with him and he is constantly on my mind. It probably is cause I have a high sex drive but young children hasnt affected our sex life in the slightest.

Olifin - Just read back and I wasnt bleeding at all 6 days post partum. It stopped on 5 days hence why the 69!