To ask why some women don't have sex with their husbands enough?

[dontstopbelieving]

Just from reading some threads I think some women don't realise how much a man needs sex. Totally on a different level to how we do but making that bit of effort not to think about how tired we are (I am most of the time) but just from my experience they don't want firework inducing experiences. Its just how men feel close and connected is by having sex. Shouldn't we make the effort to make the effort?

Poshbaggirl

So, given that one of my orgasms is worth 10 of DP's,and he's enough of an attentive lover to make sure I'm sorted first...

there's a serious orgasm imbalance in our relationship, by a factor of 10+

What should I do to resolve this? Will it harm our relationship? Am I just a greedy cumhound?

Good point SAF.

I think there's still a big problem that men are often expected to be naturally good at sex - and I don't think anyone is naturally good at it! We all have to learn and get better, don't we?

Poshbaggirl
"....men are ever ready...."

hahahahaha!

Pffft

Bec I squeezed a 10lb 2oz baby out that hole 4 weeks ago, ta muchly.

Bec doleing out BJs on three hrs sleep when my body has just been sublet for 9 mths and now my boobs are leased out to a sucky newborn.

Bec we all have needs, not least of all me and sincemy need for a min of 5 hrs sleep isn't being met, neither is DH's need for sex.

End

For swalloeds survey. I orgasm every time without fail and I think it is impossible if you orgasm to not constantly want sex. I can understand if its crpa that would put women off know your husband knows what you like and its a guarnteed orgasm then no amount of babies, work or whatever else would dull yoru sex drive ime.

Also orgasming 1 in ten times is ridiculous there is no reason why you cant orgasm every time. Just do 69, or lots of oral, or use toys on your clit at same time etc. Its easy to have 1 every time, often more than 1 tbf

swallowedafly all your posts are spot on and made me chuckle too

for survey purposes our ratio is 1-1 we dont have loads of sex but when we do its fantastic!

If my dh realised that him helping round the house was part of our foreplay, we'd be having as much sex as he liked.

today he refused to mow the lawn..... I think I will refuse him getting anyway near my bush tonight ;)

I wouldn't be too chuffed with one orgasm out of every ten sessions.

Like others, OH makes sure I get at least one, usually two or more, during foreplay and the main event.

I am in permenant pain when we have sex (dr's done millions of tests scans and an operation, and believe it is in my head! Grrrrr) ..have been for 3yrs of our relationship so therefore cant!

69 is rubbish for orgasms. Unless you are adept at patting your head and rubbing your stomach.

Im master at rubbing my head and petting my stomach

Oh good for you . I am terribly clumsy and uncoordinated and require 100% attention on me.

I cant orgasm during a 69, I cant get over the god awful fact I have a dick in my mouth and often an asehole on my nose. its some what distracting

Exactly.

oooops have just realised tis Sat night and haven't cervixed my DH. Nevermind, went to see a lovely swing band and had pizza and wine, so he is prob fine. OP do you think my relationship will survive...............?

Roll on the next Saturday shagging slot.

No wonder the divorce rate is so high, there are some very mean people out there.
"he didnt cut the grass so he cant make love to me" a tad controlling i think.
For the record DP is an amazing lover, i just dont want a marathon everytime. We know and understand each other and dont use sex withdrawal as a punishment.

Because they (the women) don't fancy them (the men) any more? and would rather get some sleep because SHE is the only one who gets up at the crack of fecking dawn with the children.

dontstopbelieving

I'm sure your dh is a happy bunny because you have fallen for one of the great male-perpetuated myths of "how much men need sex". Your ignorance is his gain so I'm sure you have a happy home set up because he is happy with the frequency of sex and you are blissfully ignorant.

In fact you spout another piece of claptrap which is convenient to men.

Having sex with you shows how much I love you......... No, it just shows that he's in the mood for sex and finds your body sufficiently attractive to go ahead with that urge.

Being close and connected is mainly about anything other than sex, it's about shared mutual interests, a history of shared experiences to recall and understanding how each other ticks, basically really liking each other as best friends of the opposite sex and wanting to spend time in each other's company.

If my dh is tired, which has become more often as he has aged, he basically ignores all household jobs that need attending to, leaving me to mow the lawn, fix the light, do all the child related activities and then I am tired when he has rested up by snoozing on the settee and having lie-ins at the weekend. I'm sorry but I'm then not in the mood for sex because of his selfishness in prioritising his need for extra rest over mine. When I am fully recovered from my double duties I might consider fancying him but quite frankly, selfishness is very unsexy and shows no closeness/connection which is very disappointing considering how long we've been together. I don't want our marriage to spiral downwards so to counteract his self-centredness as he ages/tires I am looking at using a gardening service to get the lawn mowed each week and increasing the number of hours cleaning/ironing we pay for each week.

Sometimes it's about using your brain to sort out the situation rather than your body.

RT precisely.