Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be furious that a male nursery worker took DD to the toilet today

1005 replies

heyhoplaydough · 09/06/2011 15:24

I have always felt that it is inappropriate for male members of staff to change babies nappies or take young children to the toilet without a female chaperone. As a paediatric nurse I know that it is common policy for male doctors, nurses and other healthcare professionals to have a female chaperone present when examining or carrying out treatments on children, if their parents are not present. Adult female patients are also given female chaperones during examinations where they are undressed. This is to protect their dignity and to spare embarrassment on both sides.

Why are these basic measures not in place in childcare settings?

On joining this specific nursery, I was assured that only female members of staff change nappies or take children to the toilet. I explicitly wrote in my DD's file, that she is only to be changed or taken to the toilet by female members of staff. Each time she has moved up to a new room within the nursery I have explicitly told her key carers the same.

I regularly ask my DD whether she went to the toilet and who took her, along with other questions about her day, like who she played with, what activities she did, what she had for lunch etc. Today she told me that the only male member nursery nurse took her to the toilet, without any other staff. She also said that she wiped herself and pulled her own knickers up, and does not seem at all upset, so I am confident that nothing untoward happened. However, I feel this was entirely inappropriate, and there were several female members of staff available to take DD to the toilet instead. I am absolutely furious that my wishes as her parent were not followed. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
DontCallMePeanut · 10/06/2011 10:45

Oooh, he got away... Sorry, ladies. There's still a man on the loose. He has a Y chromosome, so is HIGHLY dangerous....

MIFLAW · 10/06/2011 10:45

Miflaw - no, it's to do with my own feelings and not wanting to discuss personal female issues with a male doctor - it's about me not them.

Exactly. Those are adult concerns, not children's concerns.

So comparison is shite.

SexyDomesticatedDab · 10/06/2011 10:47

Some men have already posted - Kungfu - I applaud the fact you took time to complain to the radio show.

I think all schools and nurseries should have a goal to have a 50/50 gender split of staff. Possibly unlikley but if each authority set that up as a goal perhaps it would help to drive the perception that we are all equally valid.

boysrock · 10/06/2011 10:57

Dear God hope the op never looks after my kids, (all boys god help them) she doesnt sound terribly bright.

Women are not automatically given a chaperone for intimate examinations but they are offered one. This applies for all intimate proceedures regardless of the sex of the hcp. Right no sexism there.

As for examining young kids without parents present then issues of consent come into it. I can not imagine any examinations/ proceedures taking place on children that would not require at least 2 people present.
Unfortunately my experience of childrens hospitals as a parent suggest these places like several people there to restrain the patient, not as a defence against male hcp.

I find the op very offensive, and for her information in the 20+ years I have been working some of the most caring hcp I have had the pleasure of working with have been male. Conversely Some of the vilest have been women.

wonkylegs · 10/06/2011 14:51

Shit have just realised as I work as the only female in a company full of men I should probably get a chaperone (even tho I'm boss to most of them) and not even let the thought of bringing my son into the office cross my mind! Blush, cor for the past 8 yrs I've really been a lucky woman for nothing to have happened. (dammit Wink)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.