To be furious that a male nursery worker took DD to the toilet today

[heyhoplaydough]

I have always felt that it is inappropriate for male members of staff to change babies nappies or take young children to the toilet without a female chaperone. As a paediatric nurse I know that it is common policy for male doctors, nurses and other healthcare professionals to have a female chaperone present when examining or carrying out treatments on children, if their parents are not present. Adult female patients are also given female chaperones during examinations where they are undressed. This is to protect their dignity and to spare embarrassment on both sides.

Why are these basic measures not in place in childcare settings?

On joining this specific nursery, I was assured that only female members of staff change nappies or take children to the toilet. I explicitly wrote in my DD's file, that she is only to be changed or taken to the toilet by female members of staff. Each time she has moved up to a new room within the nursery I have explicitly told her key carers the same.

I regularly ask my DD whether she went to the toilet and who took her, along with other questions about her day, like who she played with, what activities she did, what she had for lunch etc. Today she told me that the only male member nursery nurse took her to the toilet, without any other staff. She also said that she wiped herself and pulled her own knickers up, and does not seem at all upset, so I am confident that nothing untoward happened. However, I feel this was entirely inappropriate, and there were several female members of staff available to take DD to the toilet instead. I am absolutely furious that my wishes as her parent were not followed. Am I being unreasonable?

YABU and you sound like a nutter with your inane questioning about your DD's toileting at school.

And I say that as a parent whose child's school deputy head has been charged with possession of indecent images of children.

I don't believe you're a paediatric nurse

That's because I've never met one that would win a Darwin award

Actually reading this post as actually changed my views on the matter. So even if it's a windup it still got me thinking and to relax more as a parent.
I'm happy to admit when I'm wrong folks

Funny, I don't remember a female chaperone being in attendance during either of my colposcopies (male gynaecologist). Thus I conclude that you are talking shite OP.

You think it's 'inappropriate' for men to change babies nappies? Seriously, this has got to be a wind-up.

I can understand that older girls and adult women might often prefer another female to help with personal care if needed, and that's usually more appropriate. Same for men preferring a male assistant. But for babies and toddlers surely it's no more 'inappropriate' than a woman changing a little boy's nappy?

Female chaperones for hospital examinations are there to protect women's dignity?? I think you'll find that that change came in to protect the hospital from allegations of sex abuse rather than for patients' benefit.

Ignore the tabloids and you'll get a more rational view of child abuse.

My male co-workers also looks after female children when on nights and CHANGES THEIR NAPPY omfg call the cops- he must be up to no good rather than ensuring the child isnt lying in their own mess all night.

YABVVVU - my DS was obv taken to the toilet by female staff when he was a nursery and I never thought anything of it!!

All the staff, male or female, will be CRB checked - you sound very paranoid and a bit unhinged!!

My poor mum when she was dying of cancer was washed in the hospital by 2 male nurses - now that, I did object to - she said she felt stripped of all dignity but then being helped on the loo and being given a shower are very seperate matters!

I think you're an idiot

but there's probably a lot of you around

So would you prefer if your DD wet herself or soiled herself whilst waiting for a female member of staff?
My DC,5years old,has a male physio.He often has to work her legs above her knee,involving a lot of hand placing on her thighs.I'm sure Op this would push you right over the edge.

YABVU

What is the difference between a male nursery worker and say your husband,dad,brother etc? Exccept that the first is qualified haha

YANBU

Your daughter should have been left to piss herself and sit in wet cooling clothing until a female member of staff may have been free to look after her rather than allowing a competant male member of staff escort her to the toilet to protect her dignity and spare her embarrassment.

Bet you would have had something to say about that happening

I do hope the OP doesn't let the child's father anywhere near her nappy, or Grandad.......after all, how many % of abuse happens within the family?

Beyond unreasonable OP. People with ideas like yours make me very very sad. But the reactions you've had on this thread also give me a bit of hope that not everyone is a mad paedonoic.

Do make sure you tell the nursery you prefer to leave her in her own shit next time, won't you?

YANBU - because you made you position clear to the nursery and they have gone against your wishes.

I personally would not have made this request but as you have that should be respected.

bah xpost with bumwiper

Geekcool and of course, the first is statistically less likely to be an abuser and will also have an enhanced CRB check. Unlike mucky old Uncle Brian.......who always likes the little girls on his lap.

Good god woman, get a grip! So you're basically accusing this man of being a paedophile. What a sexist, outrageous accusation.

I have two words for you: Vanessa George.

If you're a paediatric nurse then I'm the Queen of Sheba.

having not red the thread...I think you need to get a fucking grip.

I wonder if all woman were this paranoid, what would happen to a male gynaecologists? I know mine is a male and have never even thought it would be a problem - never mind thinking that he is thinking anything sexual whilst examining me [hmmm]

I personally would have more of an issue with the nursery agreeing to your ridiculous discriminatory terms in teh first place. as a mother of two boys i would not place them in teh care of individuals that felt tehy could discriminate against my children based on gender.

This is surely a wind-up? If not, you need help op. Seriously.

And as for asking why your wishes as her parent hadnt been carried out........i bet nurseries get some really strange requests from parents - if you are that paranoid you would be better to keep her with you forever and ever, wrap her up in that cotton wool and never let her out of your sight

When DS was with a CM she used to say to me that the kids were fine, it was just the parents that were a nightmare!