To be pissed off that dh had a lapdance?

[Tile]

My dh went out with friends at the weekend and I found out that they'd been to a lapdancing club and paid to have a dance. They took it in turns for this girl to 'perform' for them.

To me, having someone gyrating in your face (who is not your partner!) is as bad as sending someone a dirty text.

Strip/lapdancing clubs never used to bother me that much until I saw a documentary a few years ago about girls that are trafficked and end up in places like these with men perving over them.

AIBU to be upset he went to one of these clubs let alone paid to have a dance?

Threads often descend into smut when the OP has scarpered.

I'm off to work now anyway < wonders if wiggling my arse at the MD will get me a pay rise>

All depends on the club.I personally would love to do it as its good money when compared to most other jobs,and the group of girls were all really nice.

The only thing that stops me is I am way too weak to do what they did on the pole. It does take real skill to do it imo. I used to do sex lines and was on double what I am now, and its double my husbands wage.

QuickLookBusy Exactly - for me, whether DP's 'been unfaithful' or not is not the issue here (actually, if it comes to that, he could have all the lapdances in the world and I wouldn't see it as any threat to the relationship).

What the issue would very much be, however, is that the man I love thinks it's alright to strut into somewhere, ostentatiously fling his money around and buy a woman. I cannot get past that. My own partner has had one lapdance some time before I met him. I was very uncomfortable with that, and we had a long conversation in which I openly stated that I was re-evaluating the relationship based on this. I simply don't want to be with someone who enjoys the purchase of another human.

Try it Mali as you never know ;)

Why would I need to go to a male strip show?
I didnt have a male dancer at my hen do and told my maid of honour she better not get one.

Toby I wouldn't ever go to a male strip show, especially if I knew they would be sticking their cock in my face.

Toby I remember once seeing rebel red a male stripper. It actually turned my stomach. I hid at the back. Frightened the shit out of me all oiled up. Didn't want that oil ruining my dress

I wouldn't want to go to a male strip thing as it's not my bag.

I can't imagine anyone needs to go and see a male strip show (or have a one-off lapdance, for that matter). That wasn't the question.

I wouldn't go and see male strippers and if one appeared on a night out I would get up and leave, because I'm not a hypocrite.
I do think that male strippers are completely different though, they are not there to be physically arousing, they are thought of to be more funny. I doubt if they ever have full erections or practically masturbate the female audiences either. There are not any male equivalents of a lap dancing club for women that I am aware of.

I wouldn't go nor would I have any need to go.

I would never go to a male strip show because orange, oily, muscle men don't do it for me (as you can see from the fact that my partner is none of these things ). And I would actually cry with embarrassment if anyone sprung a male stripper on me at a hen night/party.

But I didn't think I'd get any "yeah, it's fine for me to 'exploit' men. It's just not fine for my husband to 'exploit' women" answers

I have been to a hen night with a very attractive male stripper who my friends all oiled up, he gyrated on the hen etc lucky thing I went to another male strip show and the man was vile. That didnt do anything for me. All depends on how fit the man is I think

I agree male strippers are not their for us to get turned on they are there for a laugh, well the ones I've seen anyway. We did buy my mate one for her hen night it was a 8 stone weakling. Very funny

Im suddenly getting a vision of Danny De Vito when he played the stripper in Friends. Sexy!

Toby I'll just exploit the DH instead

Malifience you have definitely never been to a male strip show. Working in the bar at my strip club we did ladies nights. The women were like animals ripping at his pants, on his lap etc. They were all very pissed up but I always thought it was weird how the women could do that but when men touched the girls the bouncers chucked them down the stairs!

Coco that was soooo funny, love friends
Now that stripper I'd love

That's the diference though isn't it?

Women might go to see a man because it's seen as funny. A man isn't thinking it is funny when he pays for a lapdance.

katvond you didnt see my friends one. He was black, toned and dressed as a policemen. He was fucking lush and had a body like usher. swoon

There is a club for women

here

As I said not my thang.

It is weird how it somehow is funny if its a man.

I cant imagine the Full Monty would have worked if it had been about women for instance (mind you rubbish film anyway!)

But it does somehow seem more of joke if its a man.

For the women saying 'its not like he shagged her'

No maybe not but to some women thats what it feels like - betrayal.

Also i absolutely dreaded my hen night in case someone had booked me a stripper or my friends hen party last year, i was waiting for the stripper as i would have been out the room, makes me feel so unconfident and ugly not something i would want to go and see if i am honest.

For goodness sakes katvond I didn't say it was my concern. I said it was the OP's concern. If you read back you would see that I have consistently said it wouldn't bother me at all. HTH