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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Another woman killed by her ex violent shit of a partner.

424 replies

sundayrose10 · 07/06/2011 01:56

It's just so tragic and I feel so angry at another senseless death on a woman by a scum. It's well known leaving an abusive partner is the most dangerous time...why don't the police do more?

It is too sad for words. How can the surviving child even begin to get through something like that?

From the daily fail. I can't link so copied and pasted.

100 threats to kill: Mother handed police texts days before ex-partner gunned down her and their little girl

Shotgun shoved in child's mouth just moments before murders
Watchdog probes claims police knew of volatile situation between parents
A terrified mother handed police 100 menacing text messages from her crazed ex-partner days before he shot her and their two-year-old dead.
Chrissie Chambers, 38, made a formal statement to officers last week about David Oakes?s repeated threats to kill her during a bitter row over access to their daughter.
Nothing was done and yesterday morning Oakes killed Miss Chambers and young Shania in their home.

The killer also shoved his shotgun into the mouth of Shania?s half sister, Chelsea, who saved her life by fleeing through a window and on to the kitchen roof.
Her mother had urged the ten-year-old to ?run, run, save yourself while you can?.
Last night an inquiry was launched by the Independent Police Complaints Commission after it emerged that officers had been called to the house a number of times over the past two years,
It was also claimed that Oakes was subjected to a non-molestation order that prevented him from coming within 100 yards of her.
Stuart Flitt, 26, who is a half brother to Chelsea, said police had been given warning after warning.
?The last time she made a statement was on Thursday ? she was making statements to the police all week,? he said.
?She gave police over 100 text messages but they never took her seriously.
?These texts threatened to kill her ? I had been staying round there for her own safety.?
A close friend of the family said: ?The police said to her ?We cannot do anything until something happens to you?. She was scared ? she sobbed her heart out to me on Friday. This should not have happened.
?The police were in the wrong and they knew about this weeks ago.?

Unemployed Oakes, 50, was under police guard in hospital last night with non life-threatening injuries after turning the gun on himself at the end of a two-hour stand-off at the semi-detached house in Braintree, Essex.
Chelsea?s father, Ian Flitt, said he was woken in the early hours of yesterday morning by Chelsea who was banging on his door.
The 50-year-old said: ?She started screaming ?He is there at the house with a gun? and ?He has put it into Chrissie?s mouth?.?
Oakes killed his former partner before turning the gun on Shania. Chelsea climbed through the window on to the kitchen roof, before dropping ten feet to the ground below and running half a mile barefoot in her nightgown to her father?s house. ?If he was prepared to shoot his own daughter, he would have shot her,? he said.
Oakes, who has been described as an ?abusive, jealous woman hater?, embarked on his killing spree hours before a court appearance over the custody of Shania.
He and Miss Chambers had been together for six years before they split seven weeks ago.
She had had a ten-year relationship with Mr Flitt and they had three children, Levi 16, Guy, 11, and Chelsea, who lived with her and Shania.

Assistant Chief Constable Gary Beautridge of Essex Police said: ?We have had two years of contact between him [Oakes] and the family and as part of the investigation there will be a full and fundamental review of the circumstances of this contact.?
Amid dramatic scenes outside her house yesterday, a distraught man shouted at officers: ?You knew this was going to happen, you could have stopped it.?

Donna Garrod, 20, said Oakes, who is understood to have been a drug dealer, had been violent toward Miss Chambers for years.
?One time he kidnapped Shania and police had to escort Christine to his caravan to get her back,? she said. ?I have seen her with bruises, a black eye and a broken nose.
?The police knew what was going on. I was there most times when the police came round. She had been calling them for two weeks.?
Karran Tomlinson, 35, said she had lived next to Miss Chambers for four years and had heard many violent rows during that time ? including threats from Oakes to kill Shania.
She said: ?Dave was a nasty piece of work. He had been beating her up for years. I think she was just too scared to leave him.
?She finally found the courage to leave him seven weeks ago and now this has happened.?
Police managed to enter the house at around 5.45am, and arrested Oakes who was taken to Broomfield Hospital, in Chelmsford. Last night a life-long friend of Oakes said he had terrorised women for more than 20 years because of his uncontrollable jealously. The woman, who asked not to be named, said: ?As soon as I heard I knew it had to be David.
?He has a vicious temper and is not a man to be crossed.?

OP posts:
snowmama · 07/06/2011 08:09

Why can't these men simply take themselves out. Their capacity for evil shocks me every fucking time.

It is utterly heartbreaking.

honeybee007 · 07/06/2011 08:11

The fact they did nothing even when presented with all those texts has had horrific consequences, and what message does it send to people living in violent homes?! To find the strength and courage to get away from such a monster and they won't help you even with proof your life and childrens lives are in danger.

It is sickening that the police do nothing in these cases, yet they can find time/resources to issue warnings to parents allowing their children to pick daffodils in the park and the likes. I know where I'd rather they concentrate their efforts!!

mouseanon · 07/06/2011 08:14

How awful. And the poor girl who escaped is going to struggle with the fact she got away and they didn't for the rest of her life, even though she did what she could. Poor, poor girl. Horrific.

Animation · 07/06/2011 08:17

The poor girl may even blame herself - thinking that leaving the house made him do it. Sad

DirtyMartini · 07/06/2011 08:19

Thank you for linking to the other thread, ChristinedePizan, I had not seen it.

It's horrifying (this crime, not just the other thread). The awfulness of whole lives, shocking numbers of lives, being stolen away by these stupendously arrogant, pig-thick individuals. And no matter how upsetting I find it, I obviously don't know the half of it; that thought in itself is hard to get your head around.

I don't know how anyone can put a gun into a child's mouth. How? I just don't know ... I struggle with feeling that this man, and men like him, don't deserve to live or even to be treated humanely. I know that makes no sense in the bigger picture, at all; I'd never seriously argue for it. But it's a struggle not to let sadness and anger stop me using my brain about this stuff.

Poor Chrissie, and poor Shania.

DirtyMartini · 07/06/2011 08:21

yy Christine: what are these "lessons" that always get mentioned at times like this? When have they ever really been learned by the right people? One time in a million, if that.

MuthaHubbard · 07/06/2011 08:25

awful - and i'm sure the government cut-backs for the police/ss etc will v likely make things worse.....

MrsDistinctlyMintyMonetarism · 07/06/2011 08:31

I posted about this on another thread earlier on, but I can't stop thinking about it.

That poor little girl, only 10 years old, is going to live the rest of her life with this. It breaks my heart, it really does.Sad

But you know something, this whole thing makes me unbelievably angry. I am fucking raging that the police did nothing. That the CPS did nothing. That no-one seemed to tell this poor woman, and the many others (see that other thread - it is totally shameful the numbers involved) how to get away.

This should be our next MN campaign. Truly. A chance to make a significant difference to some of the most vulnerable in our society.

Animation · 07/06/2011 08:33

"This should be our next MN campaign."

Hear Hear!!

AnnaBegins · 07/06/2011 08:35

This is horrendous, a similar thing happened to a young woman near me years ago, texts handed to police and she was shot a while later, the police had refused to believe the threats, the cut brake cables on the car etc. And there are so many others. It's sickening that lessons haven't been learnt.

Butterbur · 07/06/2011 08:38

I don't understand this constant refrain from the police that, "We can't do anything until he does something to you..."

I thought laws were in place to enable them to act. Someone should tell them. Thereseems to be an underlying suggestion that DV is STILL somehow a less crime, and that a man who punches his wife in the face in the home is somehow less culpable than one who punches a man in the street. Perhaps they secretly think she maust have deserved it.

Plus:

Domestic violence = crime

Threats to kill = crime

Harrassment = crime

Breach of non-molestation order= crime

So I'm not sure why they thought their hands were tied at all.

OnlyWantsOne · 07/06/2011 08:43

:(

poor woman, poor children its so fucking terrible - they were apparently due at a family proceedings hearing on Monday -

SardineQueen · 07/06/2011 08:44

Reading stories like this and about ones where women and children have been terribly injured it comes up time and time again that the police knew, there were non molestation orders and things in place, that there was loads of evidence and so on.

It makes me think of that thread on here at the mo where the policeman supposed to be looking after the woman and children is laughing and joking with the man.

Like rape I think that DV is something that is just not taken seriously, these organisations just don't really care.

OnlyWantsOne · 07/06/2011 08:45

this should be the next MN campaign

... last time I went to the police, ex made counter claims (completely untrue) and they arrested me - fucking useless!!!!

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 07/06/2011 08:45

I know the children of one of these women. I agree with another poster. Bring back the death sentence! (and that's a sentence I never thought I'd say!)

OnlyWantsOne · 07/06/2011 08:46

sardine could you link to that threAD?

iscream · 07/06/2011 08:46

Poor woman, may she and she daughter Shania rest peacefully.
Poor Chelsea, what a brave girl, escaping and running to her fathers home. She must be so traumatized, I hope she gets a lot of help. I can imagine the hell they have all been living for years.

snowmama · 07/06/2011 08:47

Another vote for this being the next MN campaign here...

MitchiestInge · 07/06/2011 08:59

'we cannot do anything until something happens to you'

something like this?

Animation · 07/06/2011 09:02

'we cannot do anything until something happens to you'

Yeah - that's been a STUPID excuse - used for too long!!

HushedTones · 07/06/2011 09:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OnlyWantsOne · 07/06/2011 09:19

statistics here

GeekCool · 07/06/2011 09:20

Texts surely are proof of his intent, how the police say their hands were tied is beyond me.
That poor baby, having a gun in her mouth Sad, I just don't understand it and how brave of the little 10 year old to get out and get to safety. I hope she is surrounded by love and can begin to feel safe.

Greenstocking · 07/06/2011 09:25

What we can do, apart from the excellent idea of a MN campaign, is to do out utmost to raise our children to be good people.

Our sons to be respectful and our daughters to have self esteem and self love so that if they see a piece of scum coming, they run a mile before he even gets close.

BimboNo5 · 07/06/2011 09:26

I also dont get why women get involved with men like this. He was known to be a drug dealer, known to police for being violent, why would anyone think a person like that is worth being with? What a total arsehole, now thousands of pounds are spent guarding him in hospital- total joke.