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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just found my husband with someone else.

748 replies

morewinevicar · 06/06/2011 23:08

I walked straight out, but have nowhere to go. No stuff. My little boy is asleep in the house. I was away on a course but couldn't stand to stay at the rubbish travel lodge for the night so drove for hours and just got home. Andmy husband was on the sofa with a woman. Very blonde but didn't see much else and they were drinking and looked like they'd just jumped apart when they heard the door. I'm shaking. I don't know where to go. My son is in the house. How could he?????

OP posts:
izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 06/06/2011 23:35

He didn't follow you because he's in a state of shock at being discovered, and he's now trying to get rid of the floosie or come up with some story that he misguidedly believes will make you think that you're going mad by seeing something that didn't occur.

If you've been sobbing, dry those tears, and do the best repair job you can under a streetlamp or internal car light.

Then get your arse back into your home and boot their arses out.

As defineme has said, there doesn't need to be any confrontation - simply say that you have no intention of spoiling their fun but you expect them to take themselves off and party elsewhere.

And then go upstairs and don't come down until you've heard the front door go, or his/her car drive away.

If he takes the floosie home, make sure he can't get back in again until you decide you're ready to face him.

greasychip · 06/06/2011 23:37

How awful. Well done on going back in though. Kick his bastard arse out of the house and tell him you will let him know when you feel ready to talk to him. Stay angry and demand the best for your son. You can do it, channel your inner lioness!

blackeyedsusan · 06/06/2011 23:37

when you get home, stay cold and calm, hiss at him menacingly to get out and stay out. (hes not worth yelling at)

make yourself a hot drink with plenty of sugar for the shock. when you have stopped pacing up and down the living room in a daze (normal) go and watch you baby sleeping. or use some of your energy to pack his bags. fling his clothes out of the window

he has not humiliated you(though it feels like it).. it is not your wrongdoing, it is his. (scum) ring someone. ring your sister. they won't mind in these circumstances..

stickylittlefingers · 06/06/2011 23:37

well done, that was a hard thing to do. Your son is lucky to have a Mum like you. Try to get some sleep. xxx

verytellytubby · 06/06/2011 23:39

Huge hugs.

Wishing you lots of strength. What a bastard.

midori1999 · 06/06/2011 23:39

I don't know what to say or how awful you must feel, but I hope you're as OK as possible.

CRS · 06/06/2011 23:40

Try to get some sleep in YOUR home. Deal with it in YOUR time. Good luck! If you are local and I can help practically, send a message and I'll try.

GypsyMoth · 06/06/2011 23:40

i would try not to engage with him tonight......just say too tired to talk

distance yourself

iMum · 06/06/2011 23:40

couldnt pass this-thinking of you and your son xx

BootyMum · 06/06/2011 23:40

Thinking of you, keep strong.

Soon you'll be home with your little boy. But as others have also suggested, is there someone in RL who could support you tonight? I think you need someone to make you a strong tea [or gin] and look after you at this moment.

Until then, we will be there for you.

LouMacca · 06/06/2011 23:42

God how awful for you OP ((hugs)) Thinking of you and your son, hope your OK x

atswimtwolengths · 06/06/2011 23:42

How awful. What a pig bringing someone back to your house.

You are very, very brave dealing with it like that. I can't believe he hadn't got rid of her when you left and that he didn't call you.

Absolute bastard.

LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 06/06/2011 23:43

It's not really that late. Call someone to be with you.

I thought you said Worcester, I would have offered, but Worcester Park is London, isn't it?

AitchTwoOh · 06/06/2011 23:43

och, this is shite, i am sorry. be brave.

kayah · 06/06/2011 23:44

I hope you are going to be OK tonight.
I am on the other side of Sutton and sending you all good energy I have.

kelly2525 · 06/06/2011 23:44

Kick him out, for tonight at least, then get a friend over, just to be there for you when you wake up tomorrow, and do try to get some sleep

suwoo · 06/06/2011 23:45

Thinking of you. Be strong x

Al0uiseG · 06/06/2011 23:46

What an awful situation, you do need some support though, I hope someone can come and sit with you.

posterofagirl · 06/06/2011 23:48

Sending all the internet support I can. Sorry this happened to you Sad

Northernlurker · 06/06/2011 23:48

Hope you're back in the house. What a loser your dh is!

wikolite · 06/06/2011 23:49

If you're not ready to confront him about it, sleep in different rooms tonight and prepare yourself to confront him tomorrow. Stay strong

Vicky2011 · 06/06/2011 23:50

So sorry this has happened, stay strong for your boy....and for yourself

millie30 · 06/06/2011 23:51

Hopefully you're back at home now with your little boy. Stay strong, thinking of you.

letitlie · 06/06/2011 23:51

Thinking of you, be strong for your little one

JoInScotland · 06/06/2011 23:51

If you were my sister, I would want you to ring, no matter what time it is. Please chat to someone who loves you and you can vent to. I agree, make a nice sweet tea, it will help your nerves. You're strong, and you will stay strong for yourself and for your little boy. Well done you.