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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just found my husband with someone else.

748 replies

morewinevicar · 06/06/2011 23:08

I walked straight out, but have nowhere to go. No stuff. My little boy is asleep in the house. I was away on a course but couldn't stand to stay at the rubbish travel lodge for the night so drove for hours and just got home. Andmy husband was on the sofa with a woman. Very blonde but didn't see much else and they were drinking and looked like they'd just jumped apart when they heard the door. I'm shaking. I don't know where to go. My son is in the house. How could he?????

OP posts:
Original poster
morewinevicar · 06/06/2011 23:17

He hasn't rung. Why hadn't he rung?? I'm parked In the next street. Couldn't drive any further. I want my baby.

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 06/06/2011 23:17

Go home. You need to go to where your child is. You can kick DP out, you can move him to a spare bed, you can yell and shout at him. But you need to go to your home.

If she's there you tell her to leave. Have a strong cuppa tea.

DumSpiroSpero · 06/06/2011 23:18

Can you not go back in and straight upstairs/to your or or your son's room?

harrietthespook · 06/06/2011 23:18

i doubt she is hanging about. they will be panicking. call you dh and confirm and then get back in there.

LunaticFringe · 06/06/2011 23:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
morewinevicar · 06/06/2011 23:18

Does this bloody happen in real life!!? How could this happen. Fuck.I wish I still smoked. I've never shook so much

OP posts:
zingzillachinchilla · 06/06/2011 23:18

She won't still be there - she'll be gone (if she has any sense). Surely she's had enough time to scarper and I cannot imagine why she would hang around. Good luck.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 06/06/2011 23:19

I agree with the others, you should go back in Sad

This happened to a member of my family many years ago. She calmly told the woman "I am his wife. This is my house. Please get your knickers and get out. When I am finished saying what I want to say, in private, to this dickhead, you might just get him for keeps" Her and her DH are still together 20-odd years later, and I have always admired her nerve (if not her decision to keep her "D"H, but that's another story! He has apparently never strayed again) Really hope you can sort this out Sad Sad But don't see why YOU should leave- you are the innocent party in this.

zingzillachinchilla · 06/06/2011 23:19

If she is still there, look her in the eye and tell her to get out of your house

Original poster
morewinevicar · 06/06/2011 23:21

How could he do this with my son in the house??! All I can think now is that she's talked to him and he's seen her and what must he be thinking??!

I need to buy cigarettes.

OP posts:
stickylittlefingers · 06/06/2011 23:22

agree with the previous posters. Of course the shock has made you shaky, but you have nothing to feel embarrassed about, whereas he has everything. We're all behind you.

BonzoDooDah · 06/06/2011 23:22

Oh poor you. I agree with the others .. summon up your strength and go back in to YOUR house and just say "out". Wish there was someone near you to help. Any friend would be there with you in a shot if you explained why - can you call anyone?

Fifis25StottieCakes · 06/06/2011 23:22

You need to go home instead of walking around upset in the cold. Go home please and have a talk. You have had a shock. You need to hear his explanation.

GypsyMoth · 06/06/2011 23:23

right....ccome on.....text him now.

ensure · 06/06/2011 23:23

If you were my friend, or even friendly acquaintance, and you called me in this situation I would want to help in any way I could. You have nothing to feel humiliated about, you have done nothing wrong.
Call a local friend. I'm sure she'll go to the house with you if that's what you want to do. Or put you up for the night. What a terrible shock for you. You need someone to make you a drink and sit up with you for a bit.
:(

GypsyMoth · 06/06/2011 23:23

she'll be well gone i should think

QueeferSutherland · 06/06/2011 23:23

She will have scarpered by now.

Go home to your boy. Kick him out.

The fact he hasn't called speaks volumes.

CheeseandGherkins · 06/06/2011 23:24

Go home, don't stay out because of him. If he's cheated then he's the one that needs to leave. Don't leave you child with him and some woman. Get back there with your head held high.

Slainte · 06/06/2011 23:24

This happened to me many years ago. I didn't leave house but called (now ex-)H out of the lounge where they were and told him I would call the police to say that there was a trespasser in my house unless she left in the next 5 seconds. I know you are in shock at the moment, i really feel for you, my heart is racing just thinking back to that awful time. As your sister is away, is there anyone else you can get to return with you? Or even to have someone on the end of the phone as you re-enter the house can help.

zingzillachinchilla · 06/06/2011 23:24

Where are you right now? Don't wander around in a daze - you need to be indoors right now. Get some cigarettes if you really need them, and head back there. Seriously - you do not need to be wandering around at this time of night worrying about going back there. Are you in your car? Or indoors somewhere else?

FabbyChic · 06/06/2011 23:25

Hey honey, let us know how you are.

Get yourself together, go home and tell your husband to leave.

He couldnt follow you as your child is in the house.

Tomorrow, get yourself a solicitor.

CointreauVersial · 06/06/2011 23:25

What an awful situation, I'm not surprised you are shaking. Don't leave him time to concoct any rubbish stories - go back to your home, for your DS's sake, at least..

Jajas · 06/06/2011 23:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

firsttimemum77 · 06/06/2011 23:25

Agree with the others. Go back to your home and kick the fucker out!!

chillichill · 06/06/2011 23:25

doesn't matter what you look like! deep breath, channel the anger, pain and rage and just walk back in there. tell him you are going upstairs and you expect him to leave. he can come back in the morning to get his things and take ds to school or wherever. you will discuss it when you are ready and not before. be strong. he is a Dick and even if its innocent he knows what it looks like and should understand going you space. and if its not innocent, you will do what you need to do.because you are strong and have us to support you.
good luck! ill be up a few times tonight with dd so will check in. keep us posted. Xx

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