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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just found my husband with someone else.

748 replies

morewinevicar · 06/06/2011 23:08

I walked straight out, but have nowhere to go. No stuff. My little boy is asleep in the house. I was away on a course but couldn't stand to stay at the rubbish travel lodge for the night so drove for hours and just got home. Andmy husband was on the sofa with a woman. Very blonde but didn't see much else and they were drinking and looked like they'd just jumped apart when they heard the door. I'm shaking. I don't know where to go. My son is in the house. How could he?????

OP posts:
HaughtyChuckle · 08/06/2011 15:37

has he moved out yet?

Greenstocking · 08/06/2011 15:50

Have been following this too and thinking of you.

I kind of see where Patricia is coming from but his subsequent behaviour doesn't help his case.

I can't believe that if he was innocent he wouldn't have been properly in touch by now. I can see that IF he was innocent he might be smarting that you immediately assumed he was cheating but honestly, he'd have sorted it with you by now .

bupcakesandcunting · 08/06/2011 15:53

"Is everyone really so insecure?"

Are people really so gullible?

PatriciatheStripper · 08/06/2011 16:04

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe OP's latest post here was less than 24 hours after the incident, so we really do not know what has gone on.

ITHOTM · 08/06/2011 16:05

Conclusion: Patricia is the OW.

Brilliantly cunning - and she would have got away with it too, if it weren't for you darn kids.

Friendlymum67 · 08/06/2011 16:06

Morewinevicar I'm new to mn but have been through the whole awful saga of discovering my husband was having an affair.

I was devastated, as you are, but you will get thro this, I did, and if I can, anyone can!

Everyone will have advice on the next step, but you have to trust your instincts and do what you think is right for you and your son.

Thinking of you x

PatriciatheStripper · 08/06/2011 16:10

Grin @ ITHOTM

katvond · 08/06/2011 16:25

Morewine I just wanted to see how you are today.
Everyone is behind you on here.
Take care

captainbarnacle · 08/06/2011 16:40

Married man and strange woman sat on a sofa drinking wine at 11pm at night when the wife is away on a course?

No. There isn't much innocent there. Yes, fine if it's 7pm at night - but at 11pm I think it tells its own story.

Really hope you're ok xx

Greenstocking · 08/06/2011 16:43

Actually, if it was sexual, wouldn't they have been in bed at 11 o clock? Hmm

Thingumy · 08/06/2011 16:43

'Yes, fine if it's 7pm at night'

People shag at 7pm in the evening ,extramarital affairs don't happen once it gets dark.

Jajas · 08/06/2011 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ormirian · 08/06/2011 16:46

patricia - I quite agree with you. It could have been 100% innocent but for whatever reason the OP didn't think it was and left. And her DH took that opportunity to bugger off and stay there! That is where it becomes distinctly fishy. You must see that?

captainbarnacle · 08/06/2011 16:46

Yes of course people can get together whatever the time of day - it's just the later it is, the less plausible I would find any innocent explanation and the more questions I would have.

Greenstocking · 08/06/2011 16:47

Indeed Ormirian.

It is his subsequent behaviour that points to his guilt.

MooMooFarm · 08/06/2011 16:48

Just checked in to see how OP is doing and am a bit Shock at the bunfight on here Confused

ooohyouareawfulbutilikeyou · 08/06/2011 16:49

just them together on the sofa drinking wine could have been perfectly harmless

jumping apart - maybe she had got an eyelash in her eye and he was helping her

obviously its not that, but easily have been without the other stuff

dawntigga · 08/06/2011 16:54

Can I just say, I actually caught the ex-h in flagrante delicto, hairy arse moving up and down and everything.

Eventually you stop feeling numb.

Eventually the hurt passes.

Eventually you can take breaths without feeling like you've just been kicked in the stomach.

Eventually everything is all right.

Right now sucks.

PMMeOpIfYou'dLikeToTalkTiggaxx

ohsolonely · 08/06/2011 17:09

Just checking in to see how you are today. The thread has grown some since last night.

Anyway MOREWINE - I hope you are coping OK. We are all thinking of you. xx

Jajas · 08/06/2011 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrameyMcFrame · 08/06/2011 17:12

They weren't in bed because the DS was asleep upstairs! Hmm

CheerfulYank · 08/06/2011 17:13

Oh tigga . :( I think I would cause some actual physical damage.

Hope you're all right OP.

dawntigga · 08/06/2011 17:15

Am fine now and I no longer want to do any physical damage to him, we've all passed a lot of water since then.

Just letting the op know it DOES get better and there will be a light at the end of the tunnel that isn't an on coming train.

MightNotHaveBeenTerriblyGrownUpAfterCatchingHimTiggaxx

Jajas · 08/06/2011 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greenstocking · 08/06/2011 17:50

Framey - and neither were they shagging on the sofa.

So their behaviour there raises no suspiciond it is his subsequent behaviour that is suspect.

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