I fucking swear people are doing this on MN deliberately just to piss me off now

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

The word is LITTLE, you inbred fucker, yes YOU, sat at your pc right now.

Little, means small, and is spelt L.I.T.T.L.E, not fucking lil, LIL is not a word and means fuck all. Here is a definition of the word little for those who are unaware www.google.com/dictionary?langpair=en|en&q=little&hl=en&aq=f

Bloody people slaughtering the English language, I know the type, you say 'hun' repeatedly and I would put money on you lot not punctuating your fucking text messages nor do you use actual words.

What is the bloody point in it all ? can somebody please enlighten me ?

wherefore - meant why, why are you Romeo, as in why couldn't you be someone from an acceptable family rather than the enemy. not where are you currently located. as we're being a bunch of jumped up judgemental freaks today.

as for lil, i can see why that might irk. its common parlance where i'm from though pronounced lie-ell or lah-ell and its mostly the older generations who use it. i doubt they txt spk though.

The worst text message I ever got was from a personal trainer. I took one session with him and soon after was laid low with flu (not connected to the exercise). A week later he texts "Heya gal. U orite? Wen u b fre 2 mt at gym agen?" Once I had deciphered the message, I gave him short shrift.

I now use a lovely personal trainer who not only comes to my house, but also has full command over her spoken and written English.

Really, now that phones don't have character limitations while texting, there is no excuse to mangle words.

Actually, that was not the only reason I fired him (just in case anyone thinks I am crazy ). I had given birth 4 months earlier and he made me do several exercises (lifting heavy weights while squatting) that weren't suitable for me at the time. The text message was just the final straw.

Here are some choice status updates from my cousin. Or "cuzzi" as she would prefer to be called

"Had a lovely day tday, ad a nyc picnic n playd tennis is the sunshine wiv mi boy. Cant wait til tmoz got the kids n we gna av a water pistel fight wiv a bbq to top it off x x"

THIS little gem:

"u wana gud game of chines whispers get urself dwn t the sunny i.o.w, ther a loads of assholes waste of space shit stirin sad pathetic lonely ppl ther that r more then happy to play! B warned tho, they r very gud at it!!!!!!!"

CHINES whispers! Bwah ha ha ha ha ha!

Classy "nyt" out:

"Bring on the dance floor in yates tnyt, i can c me dancin til the lights cum on oh yes!xx"

Yates? Sums it up really.

Yates. We should use Yates for the next MN meet-up. Imagine the japes.

"ad a nyc picnic"

New York City picnic? Sounds more exciting than my picnics which involves mini scotch eggs and dogs shitting on my picnic blanket, at any rate...

thursday that particular (very widespread) misinterpretation always annoys me as well

NO. Just no. Besides, I don't have enough any gopping gold, short belt-like skirts and I don't drink alcopops.

I'm a copy writer and a client once emailed me to ask if I would do some work for him on his mens clothing site. His email read as follows:

Yo! I'm needing some stuff for ma site and I heard you was well cool. We sell da funky stuff and want sometink right hot, know wot I mean like? Sometink that will sell.
Yo look forward to hearing back from yous. Stay cool man.

I replied saying that firstly, I was not a name, the clue is in my business name. Secondly, whilst I was more than happy to provide copy for him it would feature correct grammar and spelling as Google doesn't particulary recognise keywords when they are presented as slang. I can't really see anyone googling "cool mens stuff". And thirdly, was he old enough to be doing business online.

Needless to say I didn't hear back from him but I had enough work at the time to be choosy about who and what I took on.

not a man that should read! I do proof-read my content before I send it to clients - honest!

Rock I'm shocked you are not the proud owner of a pussy pelmet

FFS what is with all these hunnybunny i'm new fluffybunnywunny babbsiebubbsies

fuckmepink afraid not! Though I see plenty of them where I live, and on women my age too. However, they probably don't have anything original in or on the bodies apart from their skin and eyes. And even the skin's fake tanned.

I don't know - if I'd not been on MN for a while I'd think it had changed direction.

Rock - I was out a couple of weekends ago, and I am in my forties, and there was a woman who could have given me at least ten years, and she had a backless white top and pussy pelmet with a silver belt and silver accessories on. She had blonde blonde blonde hair which was strawlike. And had obviously been in the sun for far too long.

She looked like a cheap tart. And yes I judged.

She's probably a regular at Linekers in Fuengirola judging by that desciption

Not that I'm judging.

How dare you judge that woman?!!

She could have had some rare skin condition that means that she must bare as much skin as possible to prevent her from breaking out in hives. The silver accessories could have been for medical purposes, like an extension of those arthritis bangles. Blonde straw-like hair - iron deficiency.

You bitch.

Bup you can't go out dressed like that anymore. The cream does work and it's not your real hair anyway.

Bup - was it you?

I wish. If I went out in that amount of clothes, Greenpeace would be straight on me, trying to shove me back towards the sea...

Bup - I like to think my floaty top and dark trousers with sparkly heels just looked so much more classy and were nothing to do with the fact that I am at least 2 stone overweight

No matter what your weight, you will ALWAYS look more classy covered up. This is written in the bible.

I actually got Lolled at this morning. I'd been to watch DD in her school assembly [proud]. Another Mum came up and told me 'minikreech is sooooo talented - LOL'. She actually said L-O-L.
I am not sure whether she was being sarcastic or is just thick. I loathe LOL when it is written down, but spoken. That is lunacy.

If you say LOL do you say ell-oh-ell or do you say loll?

I imagine loll.

OP, I feel your pain. I have a deep suspicion of grown men and women who try to be cute.
NanAstley, today I spent ten minutes of my life trying to decipher a text message. It looked like Vodafone had put the message through an Enigma code machine before forwarding it to me. If I wanted to spend time solving riddles, I'd do the Take a Break wordsearch Times crossword puzzle.