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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed with a 'friend' of mine?

195 replies

jobo84 · 06/06/2011 12:49

Today my car was in the garage, the one day it has decided to rain in the past god knows how long. Anyway, my daughter had to go to nursery today, roughly 2 miles away(4 miles there and back), my 8yo wasnt in school today so had her with me too.
Anyway my neighbour (and a friend i thought) 2 doors down, her son goes to the same nursery, she knew i had no car this morning saw me leaving my house and just drove off, in her 7 seater with only 3 seats taken up, she could have offered to take my daughter in as i have taken her son in for her before, babysat etc. Friends are meant to help each other out, but it would seem she isnt the friend i thought she was. It was really chucking it down and everyone knows that you can't hold an umbrella and push a pushchair with handles not a bar.
AIBU to be annoyed by this?
I know my daughter is not her responsibility, but if i had seen her walking in the rain with her baby and son, i would have offered. I have done it before for her.
My husband would have driven us or lent me his car but had to go away on business today and left at the crack of dawn.
I was soaked, ruined my make up lol, and my kids were drenched too, obv not baby as he had raincover.
So AIBU? haven't said anything to her as wanted to know if i would be in the wrong.

OP posts:
bupcakesandcunting · 06/06/2011 19:29

Oh come on jobo. Take it on the chin and forget it! Like I said, I was you just over a year ago, getting my arse roasted by all of the auld trouts on here. Now I love them like slightly batty, piss-stinking old aunties who won't sod off after Christmas is over.

It can be quite fun and nice on here. Honest. Just don't start any threads on breastfeeding Wink

FabbyChic · 06/06/2011 19:31

I agree she should have offered to take your child to nursery, it was plainly obvious you was walking.

Don't do any favours for her in the future if she cannot be a good enough friend to take your little one to nursery.

lovetheoneyourewith · 06/06/2011 19:36

I don't think YABU OP.

I would have slowed down and asked if you needed a lift. Just common courtesy.

Original poster
jobo84 · 06/06/2011 19:36

I am well over breast feeding, and have been trying to stop this a couple of times now, some ppl were a bit harsh and there was no need for it. I do have much bigger problems i just fancied a little advice on a small problem was all.

So far i am getting great support for some major surgery i have got to go through later this year, so i do like it on here.
I am pretty thick skinned so sticks and stones etc, just thought some didnt need to be like that was all, my comments got thrown out of all proportion.

I dont want to go over it anymore but when people keep messaging things new that were discussed ages ago in the thread and they make me look dumb i will stick up for myself. Cant have a go at me for that (although on here im not so sure about that lol)

OP posts:
Original poster
jobo84 · 06/06/2011 19:38

when i say that i have tried to stop this a couple of times now i didnt mean breast feeding, meant this thread. Breast feeding is obv something i dont want to get into thanks for the advice bups x

OP posts:
ChitChattingagain · 06/06/2011 19:43

Next time you want a bit of advice, post on Chat and not on AIBU! On Chat you'll get advice, on AIBU you'll get the brutal truth.

Fecklessdizzy · 06/06/2011 19:57

Fuck me, are you lot still here?

Original poster
jobo84 · 06/06/2011 20:00

thought it was a free for all, didnt realise i had to follow rules!!!!! maybe a set should be put out for people,of where you can and cant post about certain things, then none of this would have happened.
The note up the top says 'does canvass OPINIONS' not brutal truths i wanted ppls opinions i did get some, others were not really opinions just trying to make me feel like an idiot, which didnt really work tbh

OP posts:
YummyHoney · 06/06/2011 20:07

Jobo - I understand where your coming from, and agree with you. You would think she'd stop and ask you if you want a lift.

Pagwatch · 06/06/2011 20:14

Jobo

You have kind of missed though that some people responded quite reasonably to you - even if they didn't agree with you.
It is easy to assume that you are dealing with a gang and treat them all as if they are attacking you.
Actually people gave you lots of replies. You just reacted as if everyone was rude.

So if you stay around...people on here are individuals. Don't think everyone feels the same

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie · 06/06/2011 20:18

Jobo - I don't think I was rude or insulting, but I gave my opinion in a robust forceful manner. I certainly never meant to offend you, but that's what AIBU is like (and actually a lot worse than I was to you) and it might be better if you're looking for a less confrontational response, you should consider posting elsewhere.

Fifis25StottieCakes · 06/06/2011 20:26

I agree have seen much worst threads on here but its a bit of a shock if your not used to it. Some posters do get insulting, i do sometimes but at the end of the day if its upsetting hide the thread and walk away from it. Some people are more thick skinned than others and can deal with it. Personally im too chicken to start and AIBU thread as i have a bit of a quick temper.

I started one once about the Ringtons man robbing my granny which ended up really timid Shock

Original poster
jobo84 · 06/06/2011 20:34

yeah SOME people did even when they thought iwbu,and i wasnt rude back, but others were just being rude, i fought my corner and explained alot. I do believe i got a roasting for having my year ofbirth numbersat the end of my name,wtf is all that about, didnt realise there were rules about numbers. I am not dim, and i am not stupid, i am very safety conscious with carseats and understand the law, i buy a car for safety, i buy the right seats for the safety of my kids. I am, in my opinion, a good friend and a good mum to 5 kids, my mate let me down today and it hurt a bit, i know she did it knowingly because this wouldnt be the first time, but i keep giving her the benefit of the doubt as we all have those days, but today really got to me. I got some great opinions fors and against, and for those that didnt insult me or take the piss i did thank.

OP posts:
YummyHoney · 06/06/2011 20:41

jobo84 - I think you're a nice person and your 'friend' was not very nice. I also agree with you that some people have been rude and insulting on here.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 06/06/2011 22:52

Jobo - as I said earlier - a couple of questions.

    • when you were waiting for the rain to let up a bit, why didn't you ring your friend to ask for a lift?
    • when she passed you, did she have the proper car seats in her car for your dc?
Fifis25StottieCakes · 06/06/2011 22:56

friend or her ds dropped phone in the bath...somehere up top
no she didnt have car seat but was next to her house where she had one

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 06/06/2011 23:06

Friend only lives two doors down - she could have gone and knocked on the door to ask for a lift.

pigletmania · 07/06/2011 00:11

YABVU as my mum once said to me, if you don't ask you don't get. It might not have registered that your car was in the garage and you will not have it to take your dc to nursery, she might have thought that you were going to have a courtesy car or use your dh car. She is not telepathic, if you wanted a lift you should have asked her outright, not assumed.gn

needanewname · 07/06/2011 11:16

Jobo

In your last post, this is the first time that you've said that there were previous incisents of her behaving this way, so I feel that many posters thought you were being precious because of one time your friend didn;t help you and they listed many reasons why that would be.

Yes there are times when the floodgates open and it seems to be a tiny thing that gets to you but when added on to everything else is massive - totally understandable, however you have only just mentioned this and I think several posters (or maybe the same one a few times) asked if there was more to this.

The whole numbers at the end of your name thing - now I don;t know about this properly but I think its a netmums thing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a member of both sites, however in the past there have been some NM coming on here having a go and deliberately kicking off - I don;t know why but there you go, they are both open forums and you get mischief makers everywhere (here too!!).

There have also been a number of AIBU threads that all go the same way, as descibed several times, I won't bore you by repeating!!

Everynow and then there is an influx of NM or trolls and people on here can be quick to suggest thats the case, hey ho, you never know, anyone who goes onto NM and swears maybe accused of being a MNetter!!

And I agree that you should be able to come back and defend yourself on this thread in the same way that I and some others will come back and defend ourselves.

And as others have said AIBU gets a bit like this!!!

PercyPigPie · 07/06/2011 22:54

Jobo, I think the remark about the number after your name is a social thing. On Mumsnet it is seen to be a little non-U to put your birth date after your name. Unfortunately, these people who clearly think they are of a higher social standing than you, do not feel good enough about themselves to resist making a jibe at someone they regard as a bit beneath them.

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