to be annoyed with a 'friend' of mine?

[jobo84]

Today my car was in the garage, the one day it has decided to rain in the past god knows how long. Anyway, my daughter had to go to nursery today, roughly 2 miles away(4 miles there and back), my 8yo wasnt in school today so had her with me too.
Anyway my neighbour (and a friend i thought) 2 doors down, her son goes to the same nursery, she knew i had no car this morning saw me leaving my house and just drove off, in her 7 seater with only 3 seats taken up, she could have offered to take my daughter in as i have taken her son in for her before, babysat etc. Friends are meant to help each other out, but it would seem she isnt the friend i thought she was. It was really chucking it down and everyone knows that you can't hold an umbrella and push a pushchair with handles not a bar.
AIBU to be annoyed by this?
I know my daughter is not her responsibility, but if i had seen her walking in the rain with her baby and son, i would have offered. I have done it before for her.
My husband would have driven us or lent me his car but had to go away on business today and left at the crack of dawn.
I was soaked, ruined my make up lol, and my kids were drenched too, obv not baby as he had raincover.
So AIBU? haven't said anything to her as wanted to know if i would be in the wrong.

Hmm..

You know, when DS first moved to his primary school 2 years ago, I used to drive past loads of families walking in all weathers.

I offered each of them a lift on separate occasions, and not one ever accepted, even in the pouring rain. It got to the stage where DS was saying 'mum, will you stop offering people lifts, it's weird.'

Their decision, no prob - at least I don't feel bad any more about driving past them (and I smile and wave).

Just saying people seem to like being independent these days, and, although, as you say, you've got involved in your neighbour's life and thought she was involved in yours, there's clearly a difference in perception of what's 'normal.'

To me, it's normal to offer a lift in the rain (never expected one from anyone else, though) - clearly it's not for your friend, so that's a lesson you've learned about her. Just means adjusting your expectations in the future.

I doubt any of DS's friends' families had walked 2 miles, though. If it were me, I'd have kept DD off nursery - sod walking.

TheFantasticFixit Mon 06-Jun-11 15:03:55

"Hmm..

She has kids and was busy sorting hers out. If you had waved and said oh please could you take my lo to nursery she would have said yes.

If it was me and I got in the car saw you and smiled and you smiled back. I would have gone on my merry way. Then when it started raining my thoughts would have been sh*t I cant do any washing it wont dry.

I doubt very much she though omg its raining I better stop turn around and go and get her!!! In answer to your question yes your are being silly.

im not on NM fools fifi is the dog and 25's my door number. Can no one have a name without being on netmums if it has a number on her. Grow up. Its the 3rd time this comments been made this week. I am not chaning my name either. Even if i was on NM it doesnt mean i cant come on here..unless you own mumsnet

You didn't ask. She didn't think to offer. I have no idea what the problem is. She's not telepathic.

Just last night I started a thread on a dramatic emergency situation: I couldn't find the CBeebies channel. Fortunately, several MNetters appreciated the trauma and rallied round in the fine tradition of Mumsnet at its best, offering solutions ranging from the radical (book into a Travelodge) to the, well, sensible (retune). They calmly talked me down from the teetering edge of hysteria; harmony (and Octonauts) was restored.

Jobo, you will find MNetters prepared to be supportive on just about anything, provided you show just a bit of a sense of humour, and willingness to listen to the views that you have asked for. Go have a cup of tea, come back and crack a joke at your expense, and the stormclouds will clear.

Alternatively, just give up on us and your neighbour and go do something more fun instead

Calm down now, there's a dear...

Sorry fools was harsh

Chow for now huns
xxxxx

Ha ha seriously? I should have added immature and paranoid to that list describing some of the people on here! So what if we were from netmums anyway? Is there a massive important rivalry that the world should know about?

Oh dear. I'm looking forward to becoming this sad when my child is born and asleep through the day whereby I will proceed to spend my day looking for conspiracy on a mothers networking site!

will you ask her why she didnt pick you up?

KatieLouise26 - do feel free to trundle off back to Netmums with the rest of the huns, won't you?

I am having massive problems telling the difference between one AIBU thread and another at the moment.

They all seem to go like this:

OP: AIBU?
Everyone else: Unanimous YABU.
One poster: YANBU. Everyone else here is a bitch.
OP: I am not being unreasonable. Wah. [stamp]
One poster: Ignore the bitches - they are all sad and lonely. I would leave MN if I were you - that is what I am going to do.
OP: I am new here and you are all horrible. [flounce]

op, you've had a bit of a pasting on here haven't you? I agree with the others saying you shouldn't be mad at your neighbour though. I've driven past a friend of mine on a couple of occasions walking to/from school and only thought a minute or two later "damn I should have stopped at given her a lift" partly because my mind is buzzing with a billion things that i have to do. Usually by the time I remember I'm too far down the road, there's no suitable place to turn around and by the time I do she's pretty much at home. I do feel bad about it though. I'm sure your friend probably realised too late too and feels bad enough without you reminding her.

I hope you've dried off now.

Also... aibu is a bit of a vipers nest at time, you need a hard hat in here :o (waits for vitriol from everyone else :o)

Kungfu. Its harsh though calling people Dimwits when shes new. Obviously shes posted on here thinking she would get advise. My 1st post was in the doghouse and i got a right pasting off Val and it put me off coming back on for ages. Then i got fab advice from someone on the parenting thread about my daughter whos now seeing a PHYS ED due to advice i was given when i did come back on.

8educational phychologist i mean

ffs educational phychologist.

I knew it! I told you! (well somebody..) It's a bloody infiltration! Coming in to destroy from the inside.

I'm honestly not part of netmums!

It is getting out of hand though is this thread. Poor girl was just venting like everyone else does and she has been made to look stupid and it is a bit unfair really.

YANBU

I would be pissed off. She couldn't be bothered to stop I bet you. I also don't think she values the friendship as much as you do.

Don't offer her any more lifts. Distance yourself.

You forgot to pout anymore on the end of your first sentence there, Katielouise26.

ABF: Infiltration indeed! Or as someone else lovingly put it - infestation.. fnar!

Gah - PUT, not pout, although in a different sentence pout would also have it's place on this thread...

I should be in charge of mumsnet.

I was nice. I still got froufed at.

Ho hum.

Hester's advice is right. I got a right arsekkicking good dressing down on my first post. After the initial shock, I decided I quite liked the nest of vipers and I stuck around.

Now I am one of Mumsnet's best-loved posters.

Yes I AM, I am