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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mommy pissy pants

263 replies

katvond · 02/06/2011 19:48

My DH thought it was so funny that instead of my usual towels I picked up tena lady instead by mistake. He now thinks I've a bladder weakness and told DD I'll be wearing nappies soon. Not had a weak bladder since I was pregnant. Silly man.
Luckily I saw the funny of side of it unlike my poor friend who sat there openmouthed.

OP posts:
katvond · 03/06/2011 22:05

Onceamia believe it or not I would laugh and try and make it not so serious.
But that's me. I'm not asking you to act like that. When I found I had skin cancer I fucking cried my eyes, I thought my DD would lose me. I had to be strong for DD and DH so I made light of it to protect them and myself, believe me it worked for me. So I know how feeling uncomfortable feels especially when faced to your own mortality.

OP posts:
BooyHoo · 03/06/2011 22:05

"Yes I may of offended you and I'm so sorry if I did, I do mean that. We all react to things in a different way"

glad this was acknowledged.

TheHumanCatapult · 03/06/2011 22:06

Supercal

Becuase my case will probably have very little in common with anyone elses.(do not thing there are many SCi people on here .
so any thread I start will not be relevernt .I know nothing about surgery or the tests that you ladies have been through so could not advise the only thing I can advise is that it does not mean life has to stop

all i have pointed out through my postings is that it is good to see it discussed in a high traffic area even if came about my the backdoor .

Op has apolgised if she has upset anyone .so maybe time to let the that bit drop .

youarekidding · 03/06/2011 22:08

wicked I'll be gentle as you've had a bad day but katvond meant ME as in herself not ME as in the illness.

THC thankyou for sharing and being honest. I have colorectal problems and have had fistula repair and absesses. Lately I have noticed I seem to be 'leaking' a little anally. It worries me. But your right knowing your not alone helps. (Obv not comparing my problem to yours more that I know where it could head and am worried about feeling alone).

OK confession time - due to my anal problems I bought some tena discreet as I realised they are softer after my mistake re san pro. There is no leakage onto clothes/ pads but feel better knowing there won't/can't be. Smile I actually pretended I was buying them for someone by asking the pharmacist if they were the wrong ones could I return them unopened. Blush Blush Blush

Next time I'll hold my head up high. Grin

katvond · 03/06/2011 22:09

Yes it was booyhoo. I'm big enough and defo ugly enough to say sorry.

OP posts:
libbylobs · 03/06/2011 22:09

this is the thing nobody else noes whats going on besides what we are talking about , KATVONi hope you are in remission and lots of love ,x

TheHumanCatapult · 03/06/2011 22:10

becuase I suspect that most people do not want to hear about having to live with it permantley .As it scares and embarrrases and upsets people .

But I am of to get some sleep and if tonight seeing it and yes for those that have linked to the otehr thread it may well help someone .Who did not know it existed

onceamai · 03/06/2011 22:10

I am very sorry you have had to deal with skin cancer and that you made light of it. Just as I have done with my problems but I haven't phrased things publicly to make the problems of other people into a joke; laughing at oneself is one thing, laughing at the expense of others is quite another.

supercal · 03/06/2011 22:11

THC - actually it is you and squee and libbylobs who are keeping the 'OP has caused offence to people who can't laugh at themselves' ball in the air.

And how the flip do you know if your case has anything in common with anyone else's if you don't post a thread? You said yourself people are too embarrassed to talk about it, so it's likely there are people out there like you on MN who haven't had the courage or inclination to start their own thread.

If you are serious about your crusade and are genuinely committed to raising awareness, then maybe you should do more than make a 'stick a Tena pad in yer knickers girls' crack and start a serious thread. Just a thought.

katvond · 03/06/2011 22:13

But I'm not laughing at others, I'm laughing at the problems I've has what I've experienced however serious or mild they seem.

OP posts:
StayFr0sty · 03/06/2011 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

katvond · 03/06/2011 22:14

Thanks Libby been in remission 3 years :)

OP posts:
TheHumanCatapult · 03/06/2011 22:16

well supercal I do not stick a tena lady in my kniclers becuase there not be bloody good enough to me .

Oh and i know there has been no one on the boards with the same sort of permant Incontinence becuase I started a thread ages ago about it and had a few posted how can you live with it .I would want to die if that was me

Sqee · 03/06/2011 22:18

Human has said before she found it easier to speak here about her condition because of the light hearted nature of the thread.

katvond · 03/06/2011 22:19

Super I don't do serious, I am happy to discuss how I've felt etc but by being lighthearted and this is only my view, that others will be more inclined to talk about and try not to see it as a terrible thing, it's something that someone can maybe smile about and think actually it's not that bad, yes it not great but I can get through this.

OP posts:
BooyHoo · 03/06/2011 22:20

katvond i know you ahve apologised for causing aoffence but you seem to be back tracking and saying you haven't actually caused offence.

yes, the joke was about you and between you and your DH. you weren't saying "teh woman in asda was buying tena tee hee hee"

but can you understand that by posting it here on MN, you have let other people who may suffer from this that tehre are people (you and DH) laughing about something tehy suffer from? can you see how it would hurt them to know that their condition is being made fun of?

say for example you suffer from terrible adult acne, you are very self conscious of it but you put your heavy make- up on and go out for lunch. two women on the table next to you are talking and one says "look at teh state of my face today, i look like a bloody pizza face" and her friend joins in taking teh mick of her friend. it is between them, not directed at you but you hear it. how would taht make you feel? teh condition tehy are poking fun at is teh same one you suffer from so indirectly tehy are poking fun at your condition. can you see that by posting this thread you have made people feel offended although unintentionally?

supercal · 03/06/2011 22:21

apologies, THC, I though it was you who made a joke about 'shoving a Tena Lady in our knickers' but it was Libby. But funny how you didn't mention your thread earlier in this one when I asked you about it and people were talking about threads in health. I still think you should start a new one. MN is a lot bigger now, with a lot of young blood.

MissBeehiving · 03/06/2011 22:23

Grin StayFrosty

libbylobs · 03/06/2011 22:26

i have not wanted to keeo nthe ball in the air , i totally agree what scree is saying , and this has got out of hand . i suufrfer badly with incontinanceand alsonhave a severe back disability so i no what its like so dont have a go at me . and leave katvond alone , accept it and grow up

TheHumanCatapult · 03/06/2011 22:28

supercal it was over a month ago so it had dropped of into the blackhole of Mumsnet so no point linking but have started a new thread .But Am going to be honest not many people want to think about it being permant or even to discuss it as that make sit more real

onceamai · 03/06/2011 22:30

Exactly BooyHoo. 15,14,13,12,11, 10 years ago if I had heard someone say, I'm buying Tena today and in a few weeks it'll be nappies, I wouldn't have found it funny. I was already dealing with something difficult and such a comment would have upset me all the more because the thought that that could have happened at that time was a real one. It was very insensitive thing to say and I think it could also be viewed as discriminatory.

I think there does need to be a serious thread about this and much more acknowledgement of what many women go through.

TheHumanCatapult · 03/06/2011 22:30

And with that I really must go to bed .

Oh and now a thread in Health if anyone wants to discuss living with incontinence of any kind no matter what the cause ,temporay or permeant .

onceamai · 03/06/2011 22:31

Exactly BooyHoo. 15,14,13,12,11, 10 years ago if I had heard someone say, I'm buying Tena today and in a few weeks it'll be nappies, I wouldn't have found it funny. I was already dealing with something difficult and such a comment would have upset me all the more because the thought that that could have happened at that time was a real one. It was very insensitive thing to say and I think it could also be viewed as discriminatory.

I think there does need to be a serious thread about this and much more acknowledgement of what many women go through.

katvond · 03/06/2011 22:31

Boo I don't think I've offended anyone but if those out there's that have been offended then sorry. I'm not back tracking either. Some just take more offense than others sadly.

OP posts:
TheHumanCatapult · 03/06/2011 22:31

link for those that want it
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1229236-Incontinence-and-double-Incontinent-thread