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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to apologise to the travellers camping across the road?

190 replies

nethunsreject · 02/06/2011 06:53

I live in a quiet village. Half a dozen travellers set up camp across the road last week. They have been quiet, tidy and their kids well behaved. However, this hasn't stopped some of my neighbours complaining to the council about them and plans are now in place to move them on.

I am ashamed by this NIMBY-ism.

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TakeItOnTheChins · 02/06/2011 14:27

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deepheat · 02/06/2011 14:33

Don't your neighbours have a right to complain? A few of my neighbours recently protested against plans to build a supermarket nearby. I thought it would have been quite nice actually, but I didn't feel the need to go and apologise to Mr Sainsbury for my neighbours.

People have varying views on travellers setting up in certain areas, often these views are rather extreme but the reality is probably that there is some truth behind all of them, pro or anti.

I have dealt with groups of travellers who have set up their homes in a considerate manner (spoken to local residents, developed wasteland to grow their own, took all rubbish to the recycling and offered to use their van to do the same for the locals) and also travellers who have simply set down on a piece of land - not necessarily behaving terribly, but not considering anything beyond their desire to stay in a certain place for a while. There are valid questions about the desire for some travelling communities to benefit from way in which our society is structured without making any meaningful contribution. There are also valid questions to ask about the deep-seated prejudice held by many against all travelling communities and the inability to recognise that they are not all the same.

By all means be nice to the travellers, but I think it would be wrong to apologise to them about your neightbours. They may have perfectly good reasons for their complaints that you don't know/understand yet.

IprivateI · 02/06/2011 14:39

Make sure to let us know if they have a wedding!!!

Hammy02 · 02/06/2011 14:47

I used to live near a large field on which a travelling fair visited one week a year. We got burgled 3 years in a row, each time was in the same week as the fair. I know people say you shouldn't tar them all with the same brush but it is impossible to do this having been through the awfulness of being burgled. Your neighbours may have had less than positive experiences in their past with travellers.

Selks · 02/06/2011 14:50

I met some lovely Travellers the other day. I was stopped at a layby to eat my sandwich and saw a beautiful bow-top wagon and horses pull in. I figured they must be on their gradual way up to Appleby Horse Fair and my curiosity ( ok nosiness) got the better of me so I went over to say hello. They were v friendly and showed off the wagon to me - it was stunning - and told me about their horses who they were hoping to sell. They were really happy that I had gone over to say hello and were trying to peruade me to visit the horse fair (which I would do if I wasn't away).

TakeItOnTheChins · 02/06/2011 14:50

A lot of people like to stick up for them, but the fact is that nine times out of ten, they cause trouble of some sort, even if it's "only" a matter of mountains of rubbish.

People have a perfect right to try to get rid of them if it makes them uncomfortable to have them lurking about. You'll probably feel the same when you get burgled.

Original poster
nethunsreject · 02/06/2011 14:56

Hello all.

Well, they have moved on and have left absolutely NO rubbish whatsoever, nor have they committed any criminal offences.

No weddings either, no. Grin

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Original poster
nethunsreject · 02/06/2011 15:01

Oh, btw, I was burgled years ago. But not by travellers. It was a psycho guy who took a bath and ate some food. [vom] but that is a whole other thread.

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TakeItOnTheChins · 02/06/2011 15:02

.... and it is a thread I feel we need to read! Grin

Original poster
nethunsreject · 02/06/2011 15:06
Grin

Oh, it was well weird, chins! The police got the guy and he plead guilty.

He did a spate of burglaries round my area.

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worraliberty · 02/06/2011 15:07

OP do you want a pat on the back or a medal? Perhaps you'd like us to say "Oh look how wonderfully diverse and giving you are"?

I'm pleased they didn't bother you or mess the place up...but to want to apologise because other people are bothered about their areas turning into free caravan parks overnight is very unreasonable indeed.

You may not give a shit if the area becomes a well known free stay zone but that's not to say other people are in the wrong for caring.

dexifehatz · 02/06/2011 15:10

Since when did it become fashionable to lick the arses of travellers? Let the girls have a bit of fun before 'their wings are clipped'-quote from a traveller poster.If this was said about another section of society people would be up in arms.

Original poster
nethunsreject · 02/06/2011 15:10

No worral, I don't need a medal or pat thanks.

It's all just words on a screen, some I can relate to, some I can't.

It's somewhere to spew my thoughts. Often incoherently.

I have rl friends for medal/back patting.

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Original poster
nethunsreject · 02/06/2011 15:11

Oh, right, so not having a prejudice means licking arses then?

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worraliberty · 02/06/2011 15:13

Since when did it become fashionable to lick the arses of travellers?

Since the TV programme. There's been loads of "Oh how wonderful, we have travellers" threads.

I was going to spend a few hundred quid in August taking the family to Dorset for a week...but I might just pitch the van on the first empty patch of land and save the money.

worraliberty · 02/06/2011 15:15

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TakeItOnTheChins · 02/06/2011 15:17

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Original poster
nethunsreject · 02/06/2011 15:19

No.

But they didn't know them or what they were like. They based their judgement on their lifestyle, not their actions.

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TakeItOnTheChins · 02/06/2011 15:21

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TakeItOnTheChins · 02/06/2011 15:21

... you can surely understand people being a bit wary.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 02/06/2011 15:22

My parents have had the traveling fair living opposite them for my entire life. It's hidden away and many people dont even know they are there. Infact you dont see or hear anything from them until they roll out the fairground rides.

Hammy02 · 02/06/2011 15:22

I am starting to think Nethuns is a wind-up merchant.

worraliberty · 02/06/2011 15:22

That's the thing TakeIt I resent the implication that anyone who has had problem after problem with travellers is prejudiced.

And I'm also starting to get narked off with the 'look at me I'm wonderful, I love travellers' sort of attitudes springing up.

If you've not experienced problems with these people then great. If you have, fair enough.

But it doesn't make anyone a better person or lesser of a person for their experiences.

worraliberty · 02/06/2011 15:24

But they didn't know them or what they were like. They based their judgement on their lifestyle, not their actions.

Just like you don't know they didn't commit any criminal offences...yet you stated they didn't. Do you have inside knowledge then or did you trace their every single move? Hmm

Original poster
nethunsreject · 02/06/2011 15:24

Some, yeah. Not all.

A few generations ago I wouldn't have got certain jobs round these here parts because I am Irish catholic and we are lazy and do nothing but breed. Hmm (South west Scotland). Go back a few generations in anyone's tree and you'll find stuff like that.

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