To be considering kicking DP out so I can go back on benefits, fed up of being fucked financially?

[worriedsinglemum]

I have namechanged for this. Its tongue in cheek, I wouldn't really, I love him, he really is great and a good "stepdad" to my dc. they adore him and I love living with him but I hate constantly struggling.

DP moved in with me and my 2 dc few months ago and I had been a single mum on benefits for a while up till that point. We informed the relevant authorities and my HB and IS was stopped completely and my child tax credit has been cut by about a 3rd. We get about £50 a week CTC (for now, have just filled in renewal so could change, and, I suspect, won't be for the better) plus child benefit. X doesnt work so he can't contribute towards DC. I can't believe how skint we are since he has moved in and TBH it is already affecting our (usually great) relationship in lots of shitty ways. we can't afford anything other than the bare basics and I am sick of having no spare money.

He earns 22k. He pays the rent and CT at my place, which is £500. He pays £250 a month maintenance to X who he has dc with, he has debts which the repayments are about £200 pcm at the moment. Then with food, gas, electric, dc clothes and his diesel to get to work on top, All of that comes to more than he earns. So the rest is covered by the CTC and CB I receive. When we lived separately he was in a houseshare so his rent/bills were minimal and we had lots of nights out etc and treats, we even went on holiday abroad for a week. That won't happen this year.

I can't really work in the day atm as the childcare would wipe out anything I could earn. (dc are 2 and 4 so only one in school and thats only pt) I am looking for evening work but there is bugger all about atm. And it would be shit to have to go out to work in the evening, we'd barely see eachother.

I'm sick of it. I was so much happier in some ways as a single parent. But I want to be a proper family and all live under the same roof.

oh god... i actually agreed with you boiling point until you said this.

""earnt the chinky at the end of the month!""

. . . .

Good post boilingpoint.

pinkstinks i meant ... Earnt the money to pay for a chinese at the end of the month..as at the end of the month is the only time we can afford it? whats wrong with that?

Thanks ccpccp

Suggest you change your name pinkstinks. I find that highly offensive.

Apparently 'chinky' is massively racist boilingpoint.

Only on MN

The use of the term chinky perhaps?
What is offensive about my name? Have you not heard of the Pink Stinks Campaign? Challenging the culture of pink in girls lives?

www.pinkstinks.co.uk/

oh....

Sorry didnt mean to offend anyone

Thats not what you meant and we know it.

Raaassiissst.

I don't think it's possible to be racist about a food product, or is it?????

checks fridge to ensure that the brocolli isnt picking on the carrots again....

Good grief, pinkstinks, she didn't mean to be 'racist'.

She does have a point, though.

Very easy to get evening or weekend work in care sector, too. Even without qualifications.

Bottom line is: a) your ex should at least be contributing a fiver a week from his benefits for his kids b) try to get some work. If there's no work, try to make some work - Avon, Betterware, babysitting on holidays (Xenia suggested this and I do it because DH usually works holiday evenings and you can make a bundle on just one night, particularly New Year's Eve).

Set up a rainy day/savings account for your earnings for all these 'treats'.

If you were having 'lots of nights out' then there must be someone to look after your children.

Register with Groupon for discounts on days out and such.

Pink Stink Campaign? - no I hadn't heard of it, I've clicked, read, now I've heard of it,

now i've heard it all...

And pink. It's just a colour, ffs. You don't even have kids, much less daughters.

i never accused anyone of being racist.
clearly I am the only one offended by that off the cufff remark. apologies.
Also apologies for the hijack of your threap OP.

A lot of people don't know it's offensive, pink. You can point it out without being nasty.

And what a ridiculous 'campaign', IMO.

Rosie, I admire people like you who work hard to try and provide a reasonable standard of living for their kids.

I have a friend who does the same...and always has done.

There's something very wrong with a system that encourages some people not to work....and to be reliant on benefits if they are fit and able to work....and I'm glad that as a tax payer I do get some benefit for going out to work...over those who are happy to sit back and allow their lifestyles to be supplemented by those who do an honest days graft.

Skint and morning shag or a bit more cash.....you decide

Err what's wrong with pink now?

Haven't been a massive fan of the colour...but treated meself to a very nice Ted Baker (name drops shamelessly) pink purse over the weekend...and am loving it.

your right expat I just get sick of having to justify why certain things make me so angry - if you have things like that used in a negative manner (which this obviously wasnt) at your family, you dont want to have to explain why it is offensive to everyone...

Meh, not fussed about if others agree/disagree about pink stinks campaign, i was answering someone who said they found my name was offensive, and showing how it wasnt.

good post boiling point - yes there are jobs out there,all paying nmw like supermarkets/starbucks/pub work/cleaning/ironing etc - its shit money but its money

btw i also said the c word a few months back and got a roasting - i never meant to be racist and sure bp didnt either

Pinkstinks is clearly a lefty lebanese early 90's throwback

I thought people had moved on from this type of weirdness.

hmmm I was aged three in 1991....

Just ignore that last post...I've eaten too many aero bubbles in an attempt to get my DS5 to understand subtraction!!! And I'm sadly a glee fan aswell.

supermarket jobs are not as easy to get as you think

what does ccpcc think that pink sticks refers to then? I'm totally