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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be completely shocked by what the MW did today and make a complaint?

194 replies

Bogeyface · 31/05/2011 23:19

So she comes round and does the sweep and then takes her gloves off and goes into the kitchen to, I assume, put them in the bin.

She said "oh I cant see your bin so I'll just leave them here..."

Here, as I discovered after she left, was the top shelf/basket of my dishwasher that i was halfway through loading when she arrived. No, I am not joking, yes, she really did leave gloves that had been inside my vagina IN my dishwasher.

AIBU to make a complaint about her through PALS? Especially as this comes on the back of several other issues including her not returning urgent calls, not turning up for appointments and getting my notes wrong.

I have a friend who is a local HV and she says that this particular MW is v unpopular amongst them too and they want someone to make a complaint as otherwise nothing will change.

OP posts:
lockets · 31/05/2011 23:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worraliberty · 31/05/2011 23:48

Oh and I don't know about anyone else but I've gone right off the thought of sucking Lockets in the future! Blush

Original poster
Bogeyface · 31/05/2011 23:51

I think that might have to wait until post birth Lockets! Although maybe a shock will help get this wee one on the way!

Am I ok now btw?

I asked AIBU and you lot said yes, so I wont mention it in the letter about the other stuff. Is that alright? :o

OP posts:
Original poster
Bogeyface · 31/05/2011 23:51

:o Worra

OP posts:
lockets · 31/05/2011 23:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChippingIn · 31/05/2011 23:53

Bogey - I wouldn't like it either, but I wouldn't complain solely about that, but I would mention it if I complain/mentioned other things.

Have you seen the 'things I put in my dishwasher' threads?? Vile, I tell you V>I>L>E what some people put in theirs... urgh.

mumtomoley · 31/05/2011 23:54

Well I had loads of midwives round (sweep before labour, and a dodgy CS wound that needed the dressings changed regularly). Only one out of about 5/6 took their waste away. I offered to put it in the bin and she said, as your HV did, that they had to bag it and dispose of it. The others turned their gloves inside out with the dressings inside and asked where the bin was/gave them to me to bin/left on the coffee table. They were all absolutely fab though, so I think whatever they are supposed to do its not uncommon for it to fall by the wayside.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 31/05/2011 23:56

Cant speak

STicky Vicky

O
M
G

OP posts:
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 31/05/2011 23:57

I'm wondering what lurks in the ops fanjo that she's so worried about [shocked]

lockets · 31/05/2011 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 01/06/2011 00:03

I did and I should have stuck with my first instinct and stepped away from Google!

Was about to go to bed but not sure I will be able to sleep now! That woman needs help!

OP posts:
2rebecca · 01/06/2011 00:03

To be "completely shocked" by this seems a huge over reaction. You could always have told her where the bin was and asked her to put the gloves in there when she told you she couldn't find it if you were going to make such a fuss.

fearnelinen · 01/06/2011 00:07

I can't find anything about Sticky Vicky - but wasn't she on the ITV Benidorm programme?

Original poster
Bogeyface · 01/06/2011 00:09
isnt the OMG one but it is fairly bad!
OP posts:
fearnelinen · 01/06/2011 00:18

Well. Right. ahem. She's not in bad nick for her age. I wonder how pink she is?! Wink

fearnelinen · 01/06/2011 00:20

Bogey, I'm off to bed, hope the night is comfortable for you and good luck with labour an' all. Do let us know how you get on. :)

Missingfriendsandsad · 01/06/2011 00:21

you would, though, be TOTALLY right to make a complaint largely because other people were biching about her and you might 'help' them get rid of her without them having to actually complain themselves.. Hmm

Original poster
Bogeyface · 01/06/2011 00:22

Thanks Fearne :)

Sweet dreams :o

OP posts:
Original poster
Bogeyface · 01/06/2011 00:33

I wouldnt do that Missing. I was going to write to the community team because of the missed appointments with no notice, ignored calls, incorrect notes etc. That is potentially dangerous imo, and needs picking up on and making sure it doesnt happen again. My friend said that I should do something if only to make sure she is made aware of the issues so she doesnt do it to someone else. My friend is limited as to what she can do, and the best result, which imo is the MW being helped if there are issues and NOT sacked, will come from a patient bring these problems to their attention.

I check my notes after she leaves and knew when there was something wrong, but not everyone would and that could put a woman or baby in danger. For the record, I had protein in my urine (she told me and showed me the test stick) and then put "NAD" in my notes, which I know means "no abnormality detected" but not everyone would. In a woman with severe oedema that could indicate pre-eclampsia but if the notes say NAD then she would be told to just put her feet up and a potentially fatal condition could be missed. Surely that does need bringing up?

OP posts:
pootsmum · 01/06/2011 00:48

Complain about the missed appts for sure, and the incorrect notes too. But honestly, the probably inside out gloves on the dishwasher rack? Let it go. When you have DB you won't have time to bleach and sanitise anything.

LordOfTheFlies · 01/06/2011 00:55

I've read all these threads and I can't believe how relaxed you all are about used gynae gloves in the dishwasher!
If I put my used loo paper in the sink or my used tampon on the toilet cistern I would be called a manky cow.Its all come from the place where those gloves have been
Feel a bit queasy now TBH

Italiangreyhound · 01/06/2011 01:47

Think the gloves in the dishwasher is horrible. I am not sure I would make a formal complaint but if she comes to your house again I would say please not to put them in the dishwasher! I am not sure about all the other things this MW has done or failed to do and so that is your call but just wanted to say I agree with you that the gloves should have been properly disposed of (IMHO).

Jacksmania · 01/06/2011 02:27

That's just foul. Seriously, I don't care what's cleaner, a mouth or a vagina, but used gloves in the dishwasher? Eeeew. What if she'd been near your bum with them to check out haemorrhoids. Yuck!!

I'd complain.

Why couldn't she just ask where your bin was?? If she had the ability to articulate "I can't see your bin so I'll just leave them here", why could she not stretch it to, oh, I don't know, "I can't see your bin... where is it?"

Utter fucking loon. Her, not you, obv.

Good luck with the sweep.:)

AlpinePony · 01/06/2011 06:39

Do you realise that your PFB will soon to be arriving via that dirty, disgusting, horrible vagina that cannot go near your kitchen? It's your vagina my love, not your poop-chute.

ObiWan · 01/06/2011 06:52

I'm not sure really.

I think pretty much everyone agrees that the gloves thing is a non-issue.

As for the notes, if only a small ammount of protein was detected, and with no other symptoms, IME is is not unusual to write NAD, same with leukocytes etc. as a one off and in isolation.

The missed appointments, well it depends.

When I had a homebirth, my midwives were on the phone whenever they had a minute, as they were supposed to be doing booking-in appts, home visits etc, and had to get hold of the one other community midwife to tell them what needed covering. Undoubtedly some peoples appointments were cancelled/rearranged/taken later by someone else.

I was the same as someone else here, and had grave doubts as to the professionalism of my usual community midwife - until the birth!

She was amazing. Not at all determined to do everything 'by the book'. She took her lead from whatever was going on in the moment.

Obviouly had had years in which to learn not to sweat the small stuff, but that had given me the impression while I was pregnant that she was very wishy-washy.
I was so wrong, and have often regretted not writing to the Supervisor of Midwives to mention just how great my midwife was.

I would hold off on writing to anyone just yet, and maybe take a bit less notice of your friend. It is very unfair of her to bad-mouth a collegue like that.