To have high expecations of myself as a furture mother.

[Liby]

I am planning to
-not use dummies
-not let my kids eat junk food
-no disney
-no barbies/bratz
-extra homework most evenings
-chidren will learn another language
-same with musical instrument
-computer games/tv etc limited to weekends
-to grow vegetables with my DC
-take them to museums regularly
-read with them/to them everynight
-cook with them regularly
-To say no and mean no and have high expecations of behaviour at all times.

probably loads more. Im I being unreasonable??

I'd also teach them how to spell...

Mmm, LeQueen, but take The Little Mermaid. Both the original and the Disney version have the heroine abandoning her family and culture and giving up her own unique talents to follow a man she's only met briefly once (aged sixteen, according to Disney). But whereas the original makes it clear that this is, by and large, a pretty stonkingly BAD idea, the Disney version tags on a happy yup-no-problem-at-all-with-this-scenario ending.

Cinderella Ate My Daughter is interesting on the distinction between the Grimm fairy tales and the Disneyfied versions.

HSM IS disney

exoticfruits - my parents hate disney just as much as i do now but i objected all by myself when i was younger because i'd already read the books. i clearly recall being quite horrified by disney's 'nothing effing well like the jungle book but same title' and just sad and dissapointed by the little mermaid.

lequeen, yes i agree in part but grimm and anderson didnt stipulate that all the women in their stories had massive heads and eyes and pre pubescent bodies did they? a friend of mines dd who was about 7 or 8 at the time went through a real crisis because she had a mole and 'wasn't perfect enough to be a real princess' (truck loads of disney crap in their house)

mrsjohnsimm - yes quite! imo the little mermaids message was that if you give up the essence of yourself for a man then you will only suffer - which is a pretty relevent message

I would have thought that if they enjoyed the film they could either read the original or you could read it to them. Banning it seems very heavy handed, especially when they are too young to understand your reasons.

exoticfruits - my parents are also pretty outspoken atheists - that wouod make me a born again christian right?

I love the Jungle Book! I don't see why it has to follow the book-Kipling didn't write a musical!

It would me suntangirl! It just shows that we are all different! Anyone with extreme views makes me want to do the absolute opposite and I was the same as a DC. Outspoken atheists would have made me want to explore religion.

Was wondering when someone was going to pick up on that Gracie . The OP's parents must have let her go to bed one night without doing her spellings.

Do you really mean that you don't plan to let your child have ANY junk food EVER because if you mean not much I think most parents try to do that. I have a very sad image of you dc at a friends birthday party tucking into the salad you have provided while their friends enjoy the sugarfest - I'm sure they will thank you for it when they're older though OP

I think that all parents should put 'I believe' in front of their views and realise that their DC will make up their own mind.

don't think an infantile cartoon musical was quite what he envisoned for the future of his novel

I find Being Quite Nice To My Children and Occasionally Remembering To Get Them To Do Something Vaguely Educational quite stressful enough, as a parent, myself.

Tiring buggers, children.

I can't see why he would have minded since it was nothing like- he would probably have objected more if it tried to follow and he hadn't liked it.
Maybe infants like infantile cartoons! Give a 5 yr old the choice of Jungle Book or a serious attempt of the film as Kipling would have filmed it and I know which they would choose!

I just don't get these threads! Have a go by all means but why does not using a dummy make you any better as a parent???!

I have 2 DDs (4 and 2) and the one thing I have learnt is that lots of the stuff on your list is actually quite easy if you put your mind to it (except the behaviour one - it is exhausting saying no and meaning it as often as a toddler requires ) but the parts of parenting that are bloody hard are the bits that sound 'so natural' ie :

I will not snap at my children for a minor infraction despite having not had an unbroken night of sleep for a fortnight

I will respond reasonably and equivocally when the children have been fighting over a single Barbie (see, I broke that rule ) for the past half hour

So much of having high expectations of yourself as a parent is actually about the person / mother that you are, rather than the rules / discipline you impose on your children. It is only when I see mothers with first time newborns that I realise what a personal journey the first few years have been - and what an exciting and interesting one the next few years will be.

Seriously, getting them to learn French and eat a bit of broccolli is a bloody breeze compared to helping them to grow into fully rounded human beings - and I know which one I think is the more important.

And seriously, Disney? Don't deny yourself sunny afternoons in the garden surrounded by girls in Princess dresses rescuing each other from an 18 month old, oblivious, toddler 'dragon' - spending time with kids is meant to be fun, not an endurance test! And, by the way, apart from Disney and Barbie, I do do the stuff on your list - I just don't think it is the stuff that really matters.

dorasbackpack - only if dd can be the dragon :) seriously though i went to a disney princess party recently for a 3rd birthday. it was hideous and the birthday girl didnt want ot wear her minging plastic dress but a pixie costume. the mum did lots of theatrical sighing saying things like 'ohhhh, we are going to just haaaaaave to accept she might not be a princess girl' as if it was a major undertaking on a par with the dd announcing she was a transexual. she was given lots of plastic princesscrap. i asked her what she wanted, she said 'bobthebuilder/firemansam/postmanpat please'

I do sympathise with you there suntangirl-at least you appear to have a sensible DD!

With Suntan & Mrsjohnsimm, Disney's adaptations can in no way be compared to the original stories.

The Brothers Grimm collected folk tales & published them as collected, The Little Mermaid was written by Hans Christian Anderson & not based on folk-lore & bears no resemblance to the Disney Version.

Indeed, in the version of Cinderella in my Grimm's book as a child the sisters were sent out to sea in a spiked barrel at the end - not quite the Disney ending, no?

Recent Disney adaptations are repulsively trite bastardisations of the original & no sane person would allow them anywhere near their children.

A frenzied orgy of E numbers at a party is though, perfectly acceptable.

But also agree with Dora (although not about the Disney & Barbie stuff obv).

Fair enough not to expose them but they will quite probably see them elsewhere-school wet playtimes for example.

So, was the OP not a wind-up then?

Disney (folk tales) is on a par with Barbie (women) as far as true reflection of the original goes

I do or have done most of the OPs list because I am that kind of person and married someone (second time round) who was like me. So it wasn't much of an achievement tbh.

Hahahahaha

I have incredibly high expectations of myself as a future mother. So far I have given into the dummy, tried hard to get 2nd child to take it to stop permanent crying but she refused, failed to b/f pfb ds, had first McD's at about 2 and still enjoy a take away Dominos, sent DS to school with shingles because i thought his Eczema had flared, over the years have forgotten various slips and cheques, once left someone else's child at the school gate, told dd to belt up and go to an after school club because I thought she was being difficult and found out she was being bullied, told the music teacher of course he didn't know his words for the play yet, he was focusing on Grade 2 flute until Monday ..... the list could go on and on and on of my many failings. Still they have made it to 16 and nearly 13. Fingers crossed they stay off drugs and don't get pregnant (or get anyone else pregnant in the near future). My hopeful side is still hoping DS will get to Oxford and DD will realise her dreams to become a lawyer or an opera singer!! ...and my greatest dream of all - that one day I will be the perfect MIL

Queen - Le - i didnt! that was my whole frigging point!