To have high expecations of myself as a furture mother.

[Liby]

I am planning to
-not use dummies
-not let my kids eat junk food
-no disney
-no barbies/bratz
-extra homework most evenings
-chidren will learn another language
-same with musical instrument
-computer games/tv etc limited to weekends
-to grow vegetables with my DC
-take them to museums regularly
-read with them/to them everynight
-cook with them regularly
-To say no and mean no and have high expecations of behaviour at all times.

probably loads more. Im I being unreasonable??

All pigs fed and ready to fly cap'n

really confused about the Disney haters.

I've been sitting down to some classics with my kids lately, beauty and the beast, my fav, and 'tangled' a new one that's great too.
It's been a lovely time for us.
Kids love it and so do I

my boisterous DS1 begged me to play the violin when he was 6.

I wasn't sure, but he insisted he really wanted to. So now he's learning. Defo was not my idea!

now DS2 (6) tells me really wants to play the Ukelele (What on Earth?!), where do they get these ideas?

Reminds me of my mum, who tells the Dc"You are only allowed broccoli for your tea if you're really really good", response DC: "we will Granny! We will be good, please can we have broccoli? Please?!" that it works!

I was reflecting on this this afternoon. These children aren't even conceived yet, so you have no idea how much homework they'll be getting, but you do apparently know that however much it is it won't be enough. And that's supposed to be a good thing?

Yes you can do all that definitely
Add a few more:
-to not feel superior to other people (except for some other people)
-to take all of this for granted because it is natural for you
-to enjoy all of the things you do with them, and to do these things because you love doing them, not because they are "educational"
-to be inconsistent and surprising occasionally
-to never forget that you are not in control of how your children actually develop; they are who they are--- infinitely unpredictable and mysterious, (especially 15 years on)

And then you'll get PND and be fucked.

I hope you don't, I really do, it sucks, but be realistic.

My 7 yo gets loads (Belgian system). She does it at the homework club after school. Most nights she finishes it easily and goes out to play til I collect her. The nights were she has 5 sums left to do, or has to write a misspelling 3 times are true hell on earth! NO WAY would I try to make her do more. I would go insane.

She does speak 2 languages fluently though emoticon I am avoiding all musical instruments

I didn't think I'd use a dummy. DS is blissfully dropping off to sleep with one in his mouth and one in his hands.

I didn't think he'd watch telly before age 2. He watches something, most days.

I'd like him to learn a musical instrument. Both DH and I are musical. But if he doesn't want to, well that's his choice.

I would swap to smallpotato's list-she has the important things.

It would also be interesting to answer ChitChattingagains questions e.g. do you play a musical instrument, are you a keen gardener, do you practise another language-or are you expecting your DC to do things you don't do?

You stand much more chance if you set by example.

You are also not an island and will have to deal with Barbie presents, parties with fast food ,Disney at friend's houses etc.

OP - Going down the list though some will be more difficult than others, esp if you have 3 children, with one child (or with lost of help) more realistic.

My DC don't eat junk food, I just don't buy it, I read with them each night, but often let DD and DS1 watch TV while I settle the baby (Only takes 20 mins, but still).

Extra homework, well good luck, hard enough to get DS1 to do the homework from school, he's very strong willed... DD happily did extra reading every night though so depends on the child.

DD has barbies, I didn't buy any of them, all presents from friends for birthdays, same with the disney princess stuff. Not much you can do about that unless you home school them.

They both learn an extra language at school (chose the school because of the excellent language provision), but neither particularly interested in musical instruments and its not something I have prioritised.

We have grown vegetables but TBH can't get either of them to eat them.

None of them have dummies (all three rejected them as babies!), but DS1 (aged 5) and DS2 (aged 1) both have comforters they suck on. Did I plan this - no, was it preferable to them sucking on me in the night - yes! DD sucked her thumb until last year, had to bribe her to stop.

So YANBU to aspire to these things, but I suspect you'll laugh at this list in 5 years time.

When you are struggling to get them to do school homework I think you may go off the idea of extra-just heave a sigh of relief that you have achieved what you have to!

What on earth is wrong with Disney stuff?!

It's fine to have ideals but until you are a parent and a parent of a toddler at least, you haven't got much of a clue what you are on about

I wouldn't want to be your kid.

Bambi etc are classics

hairfullofsnakes - disney is sexist, objectifies and patronises women, gives girls v weird expectations of womanhood, disney allegedly a facist, changes the ends of childrens books, twee crap stories....theres been a few threads on this...also poor human rights records as others have mentioned, not to mention appalling staff treatment at theme parks as in v long owrking ohurs for shit pay.

i dont allow disney for dd but i dont allow nestle and a few other brands either

Cor Disney is no problem, nor Barbies. When your 7 yo comes home rattling on about HSM and Justin Bieber and how all the girls are in love with him....that is something else. What on earth is wrong with Disney? They have made some truly lovely films that little kids love. Pixar too.

I give it 3 years before you are positively grateful that your little darling will happily sit quietly in front of Monsters Inc with a bag of crisps and a fruitshoot drink and let you have a bit of peace.

Does the DC care sungirltan
Far worse to have a moralising mother who spends her time telling you what you should and shouldn't like IMO.
(I would have been a huge Disney fan if my mother had made statements like that-as it was they were just another film-some good some bad)

1st rule of motherhood-your DC isn't you and there is no reason at all that they should think the same as you.

Little children don't give a stuff about WD being a fascist. If Disney princesses were the ONLY message our dd's got about life, then fair enough, but I discuss stuff with my dd. Princesses on the TV yes, but she needs to get an education.

why the extra language and instrument?
let school do the learning stuff - keep home for fun is my (unsolicited)advice ...

i have slowly had all of the same expectations removed one by one by my kids.

i am now the person in John Lewis cafeteria saying "eat your chocolate buttons nicely. nicely! no, don't through them at the lady! say sorry to the lady! don't spit your buttons on the table!"

there is more, but what's the point really?

Oh, and the reading at night thing? I read to DS for hours every day. He shoves books in my hands and cries if I don't. But we watch CBeebies at night. If I try and read a bedtime story to him he gets so excited he runs around the cot. That's just him!

tee hee Portofino

My kids only have dvds at weekend not in week and now they are not that keen. Sometimes on a friday i happily say 'come along kiddywinkies - screen time!' and the WILL NOT oblige

Now that is the down side to all this

Why plan to do extra homework before you even know how much homework they have?