To have high expecations of myself as a furture mother.

[Liby]

I am planning to
-not use dummies
-not let my kids eat junk food
-no disney
-no barbies/bratz
-extra homework most evenings
-chidren will learn another language
-same with musical instrument
-computer games/tv etc limited to weekends
-to grow vegetables with my DC
-take them to museums regularly
-read with them/to them everynight
-cook with them regularly
-To say no and mean no and have high expecations of behaviour at all times.

probably loads more. Im I being unreasonable??

-not use dummies
Check

-not let my kids eat junk food
Uncheck

-no disney
Fuck that, I like Disney

-no barbies/bratz
Check

-extra homework most evenings
For the love of God, why?

-chidren will learn another language
Check, 2 actually.

-same with musical instrument
DS1 loathes music, he really hates it, weird kid.

-computer games/tv etc limited to weekends
Check, except on rainy afternoons when I want to MN.

-to grow vegetables with my DC
Check

-take them to museums regularly
Check

-read with them/to them everynight
Check

-cook with them regularly
Check

-To say no and mean no and have high expecations of behaviour at all times.
Check

Right, I am pretty sure this means I win, now where is my fucking medal?

Eek LeQ about turn there.....??

Do you need a lie-down?

X posts

Ok - you may postpone the lie-down

Anyhoo

-not use dummies
Why bother when they can be latched onto your chest for the first two years of life......

-not let my kids eat junk food
Never - feed them only on Irish Coffee, contains all the major food groups, caffine, sugar, fat & booze - sorted.

-no disney
Absofuckinglutely (apart from Dumbo & Pinnocio oh & Mrs Poppins, they're fine, but no later Disney, no Siree).

-no barbies/bratz
Check & vom, really quite bad vom, it's gone in my boots & everything.

-extra homework most evenings
Yep, keep the little fuckers working until you beat the love of education right out of 'em I say.

-chidren will learn another language
Check, English & gibberish

-same with musical instrument
Already both acomplished spoon (& knife & fork) players, reckon I have that one covered

-computer games/tv etc limited to weekends
We have no TV, I simply wire them to the mains.

-to grow vegetables with my DC
Check, we occasionally pull a wizened carrot from the ground & marvel at our genius.

-take them to museums regularly
Check - I let them look in the back of my closet, not only social history but natural history in the forms of Coleoptera & Lepidoptera too.

-read with them/to them everynight
Grudgingly admit to doing - reading is a habit which keeps your children quiet & you smug.

-cook with them regularly
Check - I have no use for a malnourished slave.

-To say no and mean no and have high expecations of behaviour at all times.
Clearly, the mothership's word is final.

As a result of my carefully governed programme I have no doubt they will grow up to graduate summa cum laude from their residential schools.

"I have a very sad image of you dc at a friends birthday party tucking into the salad you have provided while their friends enjoy the sugarfest "

This statement made me realise I know the OP - You were the mother at that party screeching hysterically because your child, in a sudden bid for freedom from maternal tyranny, shoved a whole fairy cake - his first ever cake of any type - in his mouth and nearly choked on it, weren't you? Oh, how the other parents laughed.

Out of genuine curiosity, how do you think having such a rigid set of seemingly random rules before you have even become a parent will make you a better parent than those who have learnt to nurture their chilgren through hard work and experience?

My 3yo daughter started learning Spanish while on holiday, when I told her she could have a chocolate Hello Kitty sweet/toy egg if she could ask for it politely in Spanish. There is generally compromise in all successful parenting - a rigid list does not allow the necessary compromise.

I don't see anything particularly odd in there so I don't see the reason to ask whether YABU or not. We all have aspirations SS to the kind if parent we want to be.

-not use dummies fine
-not let my kids eat junk food I won't, so DS isn't be exposed to it habitually at home, but I'm not going to act like McD's is the devil because kids just crave the forbidden
-no disney selective Disney
-no barbies/bratz DS so not really an issue, but Barbie dolls fine, other tat no and no bloody Bratz
-extra homework most evenings poor DS will have additional HW but I'm not hugely keen
-chidren will learn another language 3 languages at home and ideally a foreign to him one at school
-same with musical instrument he'll have lessons and learn to read music but I'm not insisting on Grade 8 at 12, just basic musical skills
-computer games/tv etc limited to weekends and sickness and special occasions, including but not limited to major sporting events
-to grow vegetables with my DC cress is a doddle
-take them to museums regularly many are free and great fun, why not?
-read with them/to them everynight not necessarily night but yes, reading together is important
-cook with them regularly I'll leave that to DH, he's much better with chopped off fingers
-To say no and mean no and have high expecations of behaviour at all times you may expect it, doesn't mean you'll get it

So honestly most parents aim for at least half those things and probably many more not mentioned. It's just stuff you plan to do (or avoid). Most of us, however, don't make lists or get into competitive parenting pre-DCs.

I'm loving the parents of one child coming on here and checking off the list.

There's nothing like having one child to maintain your image of yourself as earth-mother extraordinaire, only to have it shattered when DC2 comes along.

My parents were massively anti dummy and never relented. I sucked my thumb until I was 10 and had to have expensive braces to straighten my teeth. My brother cried so much as a baby that had he been the first-born, they both say they'd never have had any more children. Still they didn't relent, though.

As a result, I was massively anti-dummy. DD never had one, but DS... :( He cried and cried and cried and wouldn't sleep and in the end I relented. It revolutionised his sleep, soothed him and provided comfort. I am clearly a terrible mother to enable these things, but sometimes it is kinder to go against your principles instead of sticking to them.

Agree about the parents of one thing dollarshake...

Iy would seem there are two categories of people we can look at in a bemused fashion and think... Oh you really dont have a clue...

People with no kids
People with one kid

How utterly SAD that some people don't let their little kids watch Disney because of some adult fangled crap stance that it is sexist! We are talking about KIDS being entranced by a cartoon! Do you people who ban them really think that by watching these cartoons your children will want to dissect and write a 1000 page dissertation on 'sexism in Disney movies' or that they will grow up thinking a woman has a certain 'place' in life?!

CHILLAX!

I find 1 child tougher than 2 or 3! Except when 1 is tiny tiny tiny. But it's more motivating to do activities with more than 1

aw, I thought this was interesting until you stared telling people they don't have a life

will you be eaching your children manners and how do you feel about your mum not bothering?

teaching

ps, some of us have no choice about having one child.

Don't like this being patronising towards people with one or no children.

You are not clever to have two or more children. You are lucky.

You don't actually say how many years this list covers, but they will see straight through hypocrisy so I hope you realise that you will have to keep TV watching and computers to the weekend. DC do as you do-it doesn't really work if you say 'do as I say-I am an adult and don't have to do it.'

What duelingfanjo and allhail said.
I'd rather like to see how much I could still manage with 2 but sadly I'm not getting the chance, so I don't see that there's any need to dig at people who have only one. Bit snide, isn't it. :(

Oh goodness - of course there's nothing clever about procreating??! What on earth...?

My point was merely that some people can sometimes think they have all the answers when they just have one child, especially if their child is placid and easy.

If this doesn't apply to you, then why are you getting all offended??

People with one child dont have a clue?
It could be argued that people with one child have it tougher as they can't send their 2 (or 3, or 4) children off to play together to get some peace!

Oh God, the professionally offended are totally (and wilfully?) missing my point out in force today.

I'm orf.

I actually found one child harder than 2, with the second DS1 does a lot of the entertaining, there is someone to fetch for things whilst you are stuck on the lounge feeding, there is another set of hands available if you are out and trying to change a squirming baby, also standards have slipped considerably.

I still think I win and await my medal.

Do I lose points though on the Bratz/Barbies front as I have boys?

I have 8 children all under 5 who eat a totally organic diet, hand grown by them. They all speak 6 languages (what joy at the breakfast table). They are home-schooled by me and are taking their A-Levels at the moment.

Where is the stuff about laughs and cuddles and eating biscuits in bed and going to the beach and making popcorn and blowing bubbles?

It is my medal and I am keeping it, get lost helpingout, don't you have some organic lentils to puree or something?

my 8 under 5 grow all their own veg, weave cloth for me to make into exquisite little smocks, and whittle their own toys from driftwood we source whilst on our long walks in the countryside.