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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want a parent to sit in my kitchen forcan hour whilst her ds has a guitar lesson?

125 replies

GColdtimer · 23/05/2011 22:45

dh is a guitar teacher. Most parents either drop their kids then and pop off for an hour or sit in their car reading a book. A fairly new student's mum gas said that becsuse of the traffic she will read her book in our kitchen for an hour.

Aibu to really not want her in my kitchen, especially between 3-4 on a Friday afternoon. And if I aibu, what do I say without seeming quite mean?

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 23/05/2011 22:48

I think YABU. If it was in a studio rather than your home would you still chuck them out?

I would expect to be able to stay where they are having the lesson if I wanted to. If you dont like parents in your house then dont give lessons on your house!

potoftea · 23/05/2011 22:49

Don't let her do it once as it'll seem ruder to stop it then.

But do put a stop to this outrageous idea immediatly. Just say it wouldn't be convienent. You may have friends round, be cooking, or not at home and not want to let someone there alone.

My ds had guitar lessons and I just took a book and drove down the road and parked up. My dh used take the dog and bring him for a walk while waiting.

zipzap · 23/05/2011 22:50

Blame insurance and say that you're sorry but you can't allow it because of the way the insurance is...

Yanbu I wouldn't want it either if I was in your situation. Just don't let it happen at all or everybody will expect to wait in your kitchen. And make sure your dh says the same thing too!

LaurieFairyCake · 23/05/2011 22:51

Er no, it's not normal. Of course you don't let people you don't know sit in your kitchen.

Children just usually dropped off.

LauraIngallsWilder · 23/05/2011 22:52

she said that she will Shock how rude!

I would just say sorry but noooooo!

Anyway you always gut raw fish at that time on a Friday don't you? :o

atswimtwolengths · 23/05/2011 22:53

No, it's not usual to do that. My kids have had guitar lessons and there's no way I could have stayed without looking like an idiot.

silverfrog · 23/05/2011 22:53

I would expect to be able ot wait if I needed to.

Not necessarily n your kitchen, but inside, warm and dry etc. I wait at just about every activity my dds do, and always wait inside rather than sititng uncomfortably in the car and (depending on time of year) freezing/boiling etc.

Bogeyface · 23/05/2011 22:54

You also dont leave your child unsupervised with a stranger, which is what the OP is, atleast until the child has been going there a while!

I wouldnt be having anymore lessons with a teacher that didnt want me anywhere near the place whilst my child was there!

Firawla · 23/05/2011 22:55

if she needs to wait she should be sat in the room wherever the lesson is taking place, that way she won't be under your feet. so either there, or wait in her car. i think that choice is more than reasonable.

Original poster
GColdtimer · 23/05/2011 22:57

Glad aibu. Great idea about the raw fish. Grin In all honesty dd1 normally gas a friendto play on a Friday and dd2 is normally running around like a lunatic. Ifi just let her in she will probably last 10 minutes. Or I could offer to swap places with her and I will sit in her car for an hour witha book and she can look after the kids. That might work.

OP posts:
MumblingRagDoll · 23/05/2011 23:01

Bit presumptious! I agree you need to say that due to insurance you're very sorry but she cannot use the kitchen

Most people would use their own car to sit in! Or find a cafe.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 23/05/2011 23:02

I don't know, it's not as simple as that. In this case your house is a place of work. If she wants to stay with her child I think it would be odd to refuse her although I can see why you wouldn't want her there.

toddlerama · 23/05/2011 23:03

I teach piano at my house and I always let parents stay if they want. I wouldn't want to leave my DD with a stranger (which is what a teacher is before you know them). They usually stop staying after a couple of weeks when they realise I'm nice.

Original poster
GColdtimer · 23/05/2011 23:04

Silverfrog are those activities in someone's home? In the 9 years dh has been teaching, nobody has asked to do this. I have offered on occasion but people normally don't take me up on it.

Bogeyface, honestly are you trying to be provocative. Where did I say I didn't want her near the place? She doesn't want to sit in on her 14 year old's lesson as he wouldbe mortified. And last week she went home so has no issue about leaving him.

OP posts:
DontCallMePeanut · 23/05/2011 23:06

Agree with Toddlerama.

sorry, a bit shit at forming my own opinions today...

thenameiwantedwastaken · 23/05/2011 23:06

Can you put a hard chair in your hallway and call it the 'parents' waiting area'? Then if she really wants to be near her child she can, but she won't be invading your personal space.

Original poster
GColdtimer · 23/05/2011 23:08

But she doesn't want to stay with her child. That would be understandable and acceptable. She wants to sit in my kitchen. Grin.

Of course people want to suss out dh before they leave their child with him. I don't think that is the issue in this case.

OP posts:
LittleMissFlustered · 23/05/2011 23:09

If she insists, find a very uncomfortable chair and place it in the hall. Kitchen is your home, not part of the workplace. She may give up when her bum goes numb :o

whomovedmychocolate · 23/05/2011 23:10

I'm torn twofalls. I've had clients friends/parents stay when I teach and frankly it really, really messes up the lesson knowing they are being listened to and judged. And I would take that tack actually say: 'look I'm sorry but we find it makes the students very distracted.'

If she doesn't take the hint, then I think you just have to suck it up - sorry. Of course you could boil cabbages constantly if you think it'd help.

Maryz · 23/05/2011 23:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bogeyface · 23/05/2011 23:11

I am not being provocative at all! You didnt say how old the student was, and I wouldnt be happy about leaving a child unsupervised in a strangers house, whatever the reason.

you asked if yabu and I think you are, you dont have to agree with my opinion but you did ask for it!

sundayrose10 · 23/05/2011 23:13

I was told to stay with my DC, not allowed to leave.

QueenLaQueefer · 23/05/2011 23:13

Hmmm.

Sounds a bit odd. I'd love an hour in the car with a book by myself.

Perhaps she has had a bad experience re "strangers". I know someone who was abused by their piano teacher. I'm not saying your DH is dodgy btw!

Maybe get to know her if she insists on staying. You could make a great friend, you never know.

Otherwise, no YANBU. I'd hate it.

SockShitter · 23/05/2011 23:14

How old is the child? Under 12 I would assume I was welcome to wait tbh. Over I would probably use it as a chance to do something myself

doley · 23/05/2011 23:14

What ages does your DH teach ?

I was thinking that if he teaches younger children surely there should be a place for parents of younger children to wait ?

I don't know ...

I know I wouldn't want a parent in my kitchen either though so ,YANBU in that respect :)