to think that DD is promiscuous and unreasonable?

[dangerousdebbie1]

DD, been going out with boyfriend for six weeks. She only turned 17 nine days ago. DD met her boyfriend at a guiding / scouting convention and they hit it off. Unfortunately, he lives 81 miles away in Nottingham. Anyway, just had a blazing row with DH and DD as DD announces that boyfriend is coming to visit next weekend and when I asked her where she thought he would sleep, she looked at me with aghast, and said in my bed of course.

Rightly or wrongly, I said over my dead body. I told DD in no uncertain terms that this was our home and not a brothel. DH says i'm out of order and reminded me that this is 2011 and not 1951.

I have been in tears over this. Sorry, but it wouldn't matter if she was 17 or 21, she isn't married so I will not let her share a bed in my house. Am confused.

I have read two posts on here purporting to be from 'Christians' one has accused her DD of being promiscuous and akin to a prostitute and the other has said she would throw her daughter out if she had sex under her roof

YABU to basically call her a prostitute.

YANBU to expect your DD to respect your rules that she doesn't share a bed with her new boyfriend in your house.

WomanOfMassDestruction Mon 23-May-11 20:36:30
Did you not sleep with your DH before you were married?

No, but thats to do with my faith.

yes, very "christian" isn't it to throw your own offspring out onto the street

Who or what is this 'imorrality' you're on about, listeningstick? Didn't you get any rapture on Saturday night?

'your' faith may not be your daughters!!

Op, define promiscuous, define brothel. Cos you seem unable to understand why we think YABU to use those words in this circumstance. Think you must have a different dictionary to the rest of us

my faith

exactly so stop forcing your faith on others

I think they think its a wind up because you call your dd a prostitute and your house a brothel actually

Very Christian attitudes.

My parents were like the OP. So me and my bf did it where we could. Is that a better option?

My dd is 16 and a half and if she was in a relationship I'd have no qualms about her being safe and sensible under my roof.

listeningstick

Thanks listening stick (odd name btw) but thats what i'm thinking.

I guess your DD will do what I did, and sleep with her boyfriend in other people's houses, the woods or the park. I'm sure that will be so much better.

My son was 23 before he bought his girlfriend here, he was visiting from Uni, he asked if she could say I said yes, he is 23 so was happy for them to sleep in the same bed.

Now if my 18 year old asked me I'd say no.

I agree they should not sleep in the same bed, I do think you are jumping the gun calling her promiscuous, its a natural progression of a relationship at any age after 16, but you don't have to condone it under your own roof.

He can stay on the sofa and be done with it.

In the meantime talk to her about birth control.

Easily upset then aren't you?
Six weeks isn't five minutes, I was having sex at 16 with my 17 year old boyfriend,( now my DH of 26 years), after about a week.
His mum had pretty much the same screwed up attitude as you do.
You would seriously want to deny your DD the joy of discovering her sexuality with someone she cares about in a safe place like her own home?

You agree with listening stick?? Ok so you are either def on a wind up, or the most unchristian Christian in the world and a poor excuse for a mother.

Get back under yer rock

I waited six months before I slept with my first boyfriend, six weeks is far too short a time for them to be sleeping together, sorry it is specially at that age.

Malificence

If loving my daughter and not wanting her to end up a teenage mother on benefits, living on a council estate makes me 'unhinged' then I guess you're right. Strange logic, btw.

Y are so NBU. Sleeping with her boyfriend? What next? Red lightbulbs in her bedroom, a waiting area in your lounge, ball gags in the dishwasher and discussions about the merits of WD40 as a lube for anal fisting?

It's a slippery slope.

Let them shag in a car then, or the street or a park or a cemetery, or anywhere really because like it or not they'll be having sex with or without your blessing.

It's sex, get over it.

17 is very young in my book to share a bedroom with a boyfriend.Although my own mum took her principles a little too far when DH and I (pre marriage) having lived together for years,and me in my late 30's,still had to sleep in separate rooms in her house.Also I think not allowing sharing until adulthood proper at least allows her to say "sorry but you can't share my bed,my Mum won't allow it" if she needs a bit of back up under pressure.

Sorry but why should you mock someone for having moral standards? Excuse me but first time on here so a little leeway please.

is it this lot invading us do you think ?

fabby chick - I am shocked uttlerly shocked that you did it that soooon my goodness why didn't you wait longer? You have gone right up in my estimation your a right goers arnt you