to have a child knowing that I will have to rely on the state for income?

[problemchild]

We're not getting any younger and we do want a family.

I work in a very low-paid job and my partner is too ill to work. He may well lose his ESA soon, so I'll probably be better off not working soon anyway.

I'm normally a very proud, independent person but the way things are going we will never be able to afford a family.

Would I be crazy to just say fuck it and live off the state?

YABU and you know it, to have a child knowing full well that you're going to rely on everyone else to provide for him/her. Why not leave it a few years and see if you can improve your employment situation.

YABU.

I agree with soverylucky - I work in an industry not generally known for its attractiveness - as has always been the case, we hire on talent. If we were to hire on looks I think there'd only be one bloke in the building.

Unless it is for a high profile people facing job I think you should confront your fears of a job interview. If you have a good temp history that should speak for itself. Even if you go nto benefits eventually you would be expected to become a Job Seeker or lose your entitlements.

Employers are not allowed by law to discriminate against disability including facial deformity, so please do not let that put you off going to an interview. They are interested in your ability to do a job, your willingness to work and your skills or your keeness to train.

If being in a customer facing role would make YOU feel uncomfortable, then look for the type of role that you would be confident to do.

My dad had an extremely serious facial disfiguration due to an operation for cancer, so I do have some experience of how that can be to live with.

So you could do interviews, but you choose to use a facial disfigurement as an excuse. A shit excuse at that. If peple are prepared to hire you for temp jobs, what makes you think you couldn't get one for permenant jobs. You could even go babk to temping if you had to. There are plenty of jobs you could do.

And yes, the state could pay to train you. What's so wrong with that? You would end up employed and contributing to society instead of deliberately choosing to scrounge off it.

I think it is best if all children and parents have food and a roof over their heaD eVEN UNDER THE WRETCHED TORY COALITION the poor behave much better than the rich in broad terms

I think that with your defeatist attitude you won't make a good role model for any children you may have, so on that point alone I think you are being unreasonable to have a baby.

OP 30 is no age.
If you can't retrain and get a better paid permanent job, become self employed and go out and do some cleaning. Depending on where you live, this can be quite well paid.
Pay your national insurance, build up some regular clients. After a year or two, try for a baby, claim maternity pay, go back to work 9 months later and let your dh be a SAHD.
That way, you'll be paying your way, and also be a good role model for your future dc.

If you got this job I'm sure you can get another one OP.

Does the state pay for people to train? I thought that once you'd finished university, that was it regarding educational funding. I'm more than happy to be corrected on that!

"the poor behave much better than the rich in broad terms" no class bias there then Scousy?

Can I just ask, is your partners disablity, and your own, something that is likely to be passed on genetically to a child?

OP, why not take the opportunity to go to evening classes with your local college? Gain some qualifications. Im taking an OU degree, and am taking evening classes myself yet I'm a qualified Book-Keeper.

It is always better to try to better yourself rather than think I cannot do anything else.

Also how about some counselling for your fear of interviews?

Maypole1 - I'd seriously think about improving your own spelling, grammar and punctuation before you comment on life choices being made by others.

Fabby chic to deny that poverty has an impact of the likely hood of weather you will fail or do well in life is foolish

Being a good parent is not to do with money but it dose have an effect of environment and opportunity dose

Your child did well but you have to concede that many children won't do well living on a sink estate living on benefits my mind boggles to think because your child did well you cannot see their in a very real link to low attainment and poverty, poor health and poverty, crime and poverty.

I think YABU - why have a child you know you can't support? There are already thousands of children living in poverty, why add to that? I'd love to have more children - but we can't afford them.

'Does the state pay for people to train? I thought that once you'd finished university, that was it regarding educational funding. I'm more than happy to be corrected on that!'

So you haven't even bothered to find out?
There are courses for basic literacy, numeracy and IT skills available. But you haven't even looked?

YANBU If you wait until you are rich enough to cover all possible situations then you won't have any children at all. Only the rich can be that certain.

Do we really want a world populated only by the offspring of the very rich?

think carefully what people have said about relying on benefits continuing longer term at current levels.

This is what happened to a friend of mine in Germany (where benefits were in fact much more generous but the state reformed drastically the benefit system). she was a SAHM, her dh died in a car crash , she was on a widower's pension with a baby, she didn ot speak much German, they supplemented her income with benefits till the baby ws 3. Then she was obliged to find work. When she was unsuccessful, she was sent on compulsory 1 euro an hour work assignments - her business how she sorted out childcare whilst commuting right across town to these jobs - 30 hours a week plus commuting time. It was very hard. When her ds started school she was obliged to work full-time. Failure to take up a work assignment = cut in benefits (your problme how you manage -) total cut off of benefits).

And it will get a lot tougher. She works full-time now, she also had no choice, either she found a job or they made her work full-time anyway. I think you have to accept that is the way it will go in the UK eventually. So long-term benefits is not a good option. Short-term it might make motherhood possible for you.

Is it perhaps that you really yearn to be a SAHM, like the idea of being at home with children?