to have a child knowing that I will have to rely on the state for income?

[problemchild]

We're not getting any younger and we do want a family.

I work in a very low-paid job and my partner is too ill to work. He may well lose his ESA soon, so I'll probably be better off not working soon anyway.

I'm normally a very proud, independent person but the way things are going we will never be able to afford a family.

Would I be crazy to just say fuck it and live off the state?

Or why not retrain now before you have a child? Thirty is no age, I had my last at 41.

Regarding the SAHD suggestion, that would be fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a temp and would be sacked if I became a mother. I know that is technically unlawful but the organisation I work for, simply does not renew the rolling contracts of women who get pregant.

I'm being realistic here in saying that if I did have a child, I'd be on benefits.

If your dh is too ill to be a SAHD then maybe you need to think if something happened to you and he was unable to look after the child what would happen?

If he is capable of being a SAHD then I can't see the problem. You could work a 40-hr week, 2 or 3 jobs, and get the normal tax/work credits and CB. Apart from nappies children don't have to be that expensive!

I worked in areas with third generation unemployed. So I taught children whose grandparents had never had a job. You may want better for your child, but what sort of a chance or example are you going to give them?

Really fabbychic then why on earth do children born to parents of benefits have to lowest out comes items of education, why is it that children from non working household are the largest group in the justice system, why is that children from non working households are the most represented in care.

The common thread for all these children in all these groups is poverty

But your definition of poor and mine must be very different

Your family would be right to be horrified. You don't have a right to a child. Having children is a privelidge that people should work for.

And you are capable of work. You are capable of getting training to improve your skills to increase your earing potential.

It is very selfish an immoral to make a conscious descision to have children and live off the state.

Then try and get in to a better position wrt work. You could give yourself, say, a year in which you really investigate all of your work options and try and get in to something permanent.

SSd good for you

Then do your damndest to get a permanent job.
Deliberately choosing to have a child for the rest of us to pay to bring up is pretty outrageous, actually.
Just glad the Tories are trying to put an end to it. Your attitude of entitlement really depresses me.
Get retrained, get a better job then get pregnant. It's quite simple.

Why can you not look for a permanent full time job, and better your prospects before getting pregnant?

why not OP, every other tosser does

Because it's easier to choose to live off the state? Especially if you have no pride or sense of responsibility.

Who is going to pay for me to be retrained? The state? Isn't that suggestion a bit ironic?

OP - can you please expand on this "I do not have the required skills to earn any more (can't do job interviews) " because I really don't understand.

Tbh, I think YABU. None of us know what the future will bring, but I think at 30 - throwing your hands up and saying "I give up" is a sorry state of affairs. It can't be easy at all living on benefits and I doubt they'll be rising in line with inflation... good luck on the poverty line. :(

why would the family be horrified. They see your situation so if it is as impossible as you feel to have dc without going on benefits wouldn't they see that?

Anyway, I can have all the qualifications in the world but if I cannot do job interviews it's a bit of a waste of time.

Why can't you do job interviews??

^CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 22-May-11 12:29:48
If you think the government is a reliable source of income, long-term, then YANBU. But, as many people have found recently with new rules on Tax Credits, Child Benefit etc... if things change, what they give can just as easily be taken away.^

This is just such an excellent point (which I have tried to make elsewhere but nevermind...). The rug can be pulled at any minute. It would just make me to nervous to be at the mercy of a such volatile system.

Maypole, my children went to a school in the poorest borough in the country, one of the highest rates for benefits, albeit I worked, yet my son has just finished his Maths degree and already has a job to go to.

Money means fuck all in terms of how children are raised. Sorry it doesn't.

If you have scum parents you get scum kids money does not factor into it at all.

For 7 years I have lived on benefits due to ill health, yet my 18 year old son is due to go to Uni this year, he has never wanted for food or clothing, he is a model citizen.

All this the poorest are the roughest is because the parents are shit not because of how much money they had.

Why can you NOT do job interviews? You are clearly literate, you have temporary jobs.

Facial deformity - doesn't go down well.

I agree FabbyChic

Gandalfthedyed

Totally agree with your view the whole thing is outrageous I voted lib dem last time and I do feel they have put the breaks on the tories a little we need firm action on this sort of thing

And any one who thinks that huge amounts of people who are living in poverty having lots of children they can never support have no effect on school, the nhs and the police. The council are living in wacky land

it is not the be all and end all of life, thank goodness but I am afraid that money helps

it just does